#thepathforward

i felt disturbed in my Spirit so i left

after going to a thrift store to try and find things for my van.. something just twinkles in the corner of my eye.. again!

hermes appears at another thift store.. first as a large copper vessel far away from home and then as a small glass depicting him and who i believe to be Hestia.. but both when i least expect it

i am inspired by you. and forever grateful that in moments where im scared and stressed, trying to think about these huge life changes.. there you are. and you remind me that here we both are.. here we are. here i am. and it just.. is

i feel the Spirit of the Red One within me every time i take something down off the wall. i understand this process to be a necessary catalyst for the next portion of my life 

picking up literally everything i own and asking myself “how much does this weigh? will it fit? is it too heavy? do i have room?” and i can root myself deeply into those questions, and their importance at this time... i know it goes deeper than my clothes or bells 

trying to get ready to live in a vehicle, i have deep dove into every possible online source and gathering of vehicle dwellers, i am trying to prepare myself and my body and mind for what is ahead. i was beyond blessed+lucky to even find a van in this time, or even have any money at all to do it 

i also know that this destruction of this point in my life is guarded + shielded by Gods, especially Ares.. i give profound thanks from deep within my chest

i do not have any other social media i share anything on so this is just where my journey is, privately.. intimately . thank you to everyone who is here. it is such a small number of people but i recognize so many

my partners family said i could park and work but honestly i cant stay long because Genesis will probably be noticed but

i have already put up a lot of insulation and i am SO THANKfULL that it has made these 30 degree nights more tolerable..

its been interesting to watch my body try to adjust since it stays about 35-40 degrees in the van regardless right now because of all fhe windows. oddly however i am sleeping just fine? ..! and we thank the Gods for that!!

lastly.. i need to manage the engine repairs and do other things like flush coolant, replace valve cover gaskets and clean MAF.. and other things im curious about..

this morning i woke up and the van + i were in the middle of a really massive storm, thunder and lightening and all - and suddenly.. i hear DRIPPING..

water started to pour in from where the conversion company before me did not properly install the doors to the roof.. water seemed to be coming in from everywhere.. it was just me armed with washcloths trying to combat the tide . it rained all night. still raining . .

i woke up in a wet wonderland this morning . and as i cleaned every inch of the van (AGAIN) i am stopping to let my emotions in too

the water within me right now is stressed, strained and confused. and pouring in through the cracks in my Heart . i pray to the Gods for clarity and give my deepened thankFullness to Ares..

the water (eMotion) comes regardless of how well we try to keep it out . time to address the "Leak" and mend things properly .

so.. make a small green house while im parked and safe.. in my front seat!

i am actually happy but so exhausted.. no more apartment.. things are so different but i havent even stopped to breathe yet. but here i can for now. i have already driven like 300 miles today alone