#theothersideofforever

If I Say Anything It's Going To Turn Into An Argument Of Who Actually Isn't Shitty And What's That Going To Accomplish Aside From Making Us More Miserable Than We Are.

So Fine.

✘

GA: Zach I Love You So Much.

GA: Enough To Know...

GA: That You Don't Deserve Someone As Awful As Me. 

❤

GA: I'm Sorry I Had To Leave So Soon Zach. I Don't Really Need To Explain Why, Of Course. You And I Both Know By Now.

I Just Wish I Could Have Curled Up With You And Fallen Asleep In My Post Filial Exhaustion, Without Having To Worry About Consequences. I  Would Have Loved To Have Raised My Head Upon Waking And Seen You There, Still Sleeping And At Peace. I Would Have Enjoyed Leaning In And Gently Kissing Your Face Until You Woke To Kiss Me Back. 

>Pause only to straighten yourself up a little. Hair and clothes smoothed. That stuff.

>You considered throwing the project in your sylladex and surprising him in some cheesy way, but unfortunately the complex workings of your sylladex made that idea impossible. You guess the box works well enough. 

>You also considered messaging Zach ahead of time, so you didn't catch him on edge, but figured that you wanted to be able to surprise him. That fact has you a little worried, but as you portal to his flat and knock on the door, it's the farthest thing from your mind.

Leaving Zach was the hardest on you, especially when there was nothing to look forward to back hive. To go from his warm embrace and kind demeanor, to the cool chambers of the palace and the snide glances from the seadwellers that inhabited it was nothing short of painful. If you had a choice, you would never leave.

But the way you saw it, there was no choice. 

Zach, it seemed, thought differently. You had noticed it more and more as time went on. Every time it drew near your pre-decided departing time, he grew nervous. He always seemed like he wanted to say something, but never could get the words out. 

This time was different though. As you stood to leave, he caught your hand and held you back. You turned around, opening your mouth to ask what he was doing, but he quickly cuts you off.

"Stay."

You needed no explanation for his words, no clarification. He wanted you to stay with him permanently, rather than return to the suffering you endured at the palace. But he knew it wasn't possible. You were practically enslaved, and to defy her orders and hide away with Zach would not only put you at risk, but him as well.

Yet when you voiced those concerns, he would have none of that. You were separated by two different universes, he insisted. She could never find you. You would be free and happy, and most importantly, safe.

You knew how much your safety mattered to Zach. But, despite knowing that, you didn't dare risk it. Because while your safety mattered most to him, his safety mattered most to you.

So you shook his hand off and moved to open a portal. 

He, of course, quickly caught it again. But when you turned to snap at him, words wouldn't come out. Because there he was, clutching your hand as tight as he could without causing harm, down on his knees. There were tears and his eyes, and in that instant it finally clicked how important this was to him.

And of course, you wanted to say no. You still didn't want to risk his life. But you couldn't deny him in this state. And while you would never admit it, not even to yourself, you wanted the freedom just as much as he wanted to guarantee your safety.

The two of you were notorious for dressing ostentatiously for even the smallest of dates. Oftentimes, you brush off the comments. They wouldn't understand the meaning of dressing each other.

They certainly wouldn't understand how tender Zach was as he zipped up whatever high collared dress you decided to wear. How he would bend down and kiss every single scar on the way up, and how, at the end of it all, he would brush your hair to the side and kiss the brand marring your neck, before zipping the dress the rest of the way up and fixing your hair.

They'd never understand that you lived for those moments.

Nor would they understand how he lived for the moments that you pushed up on your toes and fixed his collar (you swear he left it messy for a reason). For the seconds after that you spent kissing his face, and especially his scar. 

They wouldn't understand how in those few minutes tidying each other up meant more than just looking good. It meant feeling whole, rather than broken, scarred, individuals.

The worst down, of course, was the fact that he was away for god awful amounts of times. While you did your best to cope without him, your tendencies to be... overly romantic with each other tended to make his times away worse than they should have been. Usually you could get past the first few days without any problem, but as time wore on, it grew worse and worse.

This was one of those times. Luckily though, there was a silver lining. Zach was on his way home, sending you updates on his progress every hour or so. Updates weren't the only things he sent to you though, which seemed to worsen your plight. He was well aware of how the time grated on you, and he loved to make the most of it.

In the last hour remaining before your matesprits arrival, you set to preparing the respiteblock. You wanted to give him something worthwhile to come hive to, and so you set to lighting a handful of candles and placing them in various places, especially above the pailing pallet. You consider going all out and placing rose petals (white to symbolize the roses he first gave you) around the block, but decide it would be too much. 

In the last fifteen minutes, you settle into the pailing pallet, wearing something you're sure will only encourage him. 

Twenty minutes later, you're sure Zach is only trying to drag it out. And so when the door opens twenty five minutes later, you sigh in relief. 

Zach saunters in as slow as possible, gradually removing his coat and hanging it up. When he reaches the block you can wait no longer, and decide to take matters into your own hands. You rise from the pailing pallet and approach him. You throw your arms around his neck and push up on your toes, crushing your lips against his own. He responds in kind, and pulls you closer to him. Your fingers clench at the fabric of his shirt, and then fumble with the buttons. Eventually you manage to pull it off and, after a second break between kisses, he drops the shirt. 

Slowly you move back toward the pailing pallet, until eventually the both of you have fallen on it. You hear something fall, but pay no mind. Your fingers work their way through his hair, before settling back down. They stop, and your teeth tug at his lip.

The second you do, he pulls back and lets out a rather loud, rather alarming cry. You sit up as he does, looking between him  and every where else in the room. Eventually, your eyes come to rest on the candles you set up. One of them had fallen and...