#theoreticaly

Finally, Alec showed some sort of reaction. His hand tightened around Magnus's, his eyes raised to meet Magnus's but they were still sad. The blue was deep and Magnus could see that on the ground of them the love which originally laid there was replaced by guilt, confusion and depression.

Slowly, Alec opened his mouth. “I don't understand it.”

They kept their eye contact, their hands still hold on tight and the warlock only wanted to pull his boyfriend close and hug him showing him he was safe here, showing him nothing else mattered because they were together and nothing could rip them apart. But Magnus mustn't interrupt Alec now because it would lead to become a never-to-talk-about topic making Alec try to handle it on his own until he would miserably fail and become even more depressed.

So he held himself back only shifting a bit on the couch to sit nearer by Alec's side.

“They tell me I am wrong. They keep telling me that this relationship is only temporary. They can't understand that I am honestly in love with you and they don't believe you have the same feelings for me.” Alec's voice was shaking and fighting for control. He closed his eyes now, inhaling deeply.

“But you do, right?” opening his eyes again the blue shone with such helplessness and hope it made Magnus startle. Never had he known a person who had so strong eyes in which every single emotion was so clearly readable.

“Of course I do.” he whispered softly, moving his hand to cup Alec's left cheek. In response, the Shadowhunter leaned into the touch keeping the eye contact.

“I love you, Alec. You are very important to me and I could never stand to lose you.” Magnus broke of thinking if he really should tell Alec what he wanted to say. How much Alec had changed him. How much Alec meant to him. How much he loved Alec. Although Magnus had difficulties with filling all these emotions in meaningful sentences he knew Alec had to hear them. Alec deserved to know them like no other person ever had deserved them before. Even if it meant to go to a deeper place inside Magnus, a place he didn't show a lot of people and definitively not people he had known for roughly a few month. But from the beginning was Alec something special. He had made Magnus fall in love where Magnus never wanted to get in touch with Shadowhunter business again and now he was in the center of it. Alec was different, and that is what made him so irreplaceable for Magnus.

When Magnus was about tell Alec all of this, the Shadowhunter started so speak again, his voice fast and full of a lack of comprehension.

“Then why can't they see it? Why can't they just be happy for me just like Izzy and Jace? They told me they were glad I eventually came out and especially Izzy told me how you look at me. You look like someone who had finally found what he was searching for so long. Everyone keeps telling me we fit perfectly together. Clary, and even Simon whom I've barely talked to. Why are my parents, of all the people in the world, the only ones who can't accept it? I love you so much that I just want to spent every minute with you but it's hard for me to enjoy this time when I know my parents don't...don't...” helplessly, he was searching for the right word, but Magnus stopped him with his index finger on Alec's lips.

“I know.” he said softly.

“I'm just so unstable.” Alec admitted in a low voice putting his own hand over Magnus which stayed all the time at Alec's cheek.

“We've got to change that.” the warlock's voice was firm, making Alec's face fill with surprise.

“How?” he seemed to get desperate now, not understanding what Magnus was intending.

“Firstly, I'll tell you something.” now was the time to let Alec see what he really felt.

“Alec, have I ever told you about the danger of immortality?” Alec showed even more surprise, clearly not able to draw any sense of this. Lightly, he shook his head but Magnus could see another feeling awaking in Alec: fear. Alec hated to think about leaving Magnus alone in a couple of decades, becoming a faint memory while Magnus will live on, fall in love again and eventually won't be able to remember the Shadowhunter with the blue eyes whom he had once loved. Magnus could see all of this in Alec's eyes and now the man was afraid Magnus will talk about this very issue. But he didn't intend to. Not at all.

“The danger all vampires and warlocks have to fight against is loosing their feelings.” his tone was somber and Alec's expression changed.

“Over the years, the immortal get used to a lot and at some point we think some things aren't worth it. Why getting angry at someone who you will never see again because he will die in no matter of time? Why getting excited about something you will soon loose interest in because the world changes all the time?

Not long ago I was very cynical and didn't want to get involved in serious business of others. I just lived here, helping clients with their minor problems and threw parties just to have something to do.” he made a little pause before going on. Alec had his grip tightened around Magnus's hand on Alec's face, watching him with still sad, yet, curious eyes.

“I was once friends with the Shadowhunter's in London, around onehundredthirty years ago. They were very nice people, very vivid and had similar issues you have nowadays. Their power was endangered, they had love problems and conflicts between different families. I helped them and they helped me. But time went by and one after another died, one earlier, one later. However, in the end they were all gone. And it made me sad. Because I thought I was used to death and I thought I'd be wise enough not to let them get so near to me that I'd mourn over them.

That's when I moved on. I came to New York, became High Warlock of Brooklyn and just lived. Without any spectacular events.

Then, one day when I threw a party the bell rang and when I opened it, four Shadowhunters and one mundane stood in my door, asking for my help. You know what I'm talking about. It was the first time I saw you, really saw you. For a short moment you took my breath away with your black hair and these startling blue eyes. That's when I felt you'd gonna be important to me. I just didn't know how.” while he spoke he cupped Alec's face with his other hand as well, softly stroking his cheeks.

“I want to be honest with you. That night I swore to myself never ever to get close to the Nephilim again. I didn't want to get a part of your trouble. But something, I can't explain what, something drew me closer to you, Alec. It wasn't only your look, it was deeper than that. It was something I can't even explain right now. I just know it's there.

I got excited again, looking forward to meet you again, I got angry at you when you acted like a stupid blind fly caught in a spider's web.

You, Alexander, made me truly feel again.

That's the one thing why I am in love with you. You must be something special when you have the power to revive an old cynical warlock.

The other thing is the part that draws me closer to you which I can't explain. It's there, and it effects me and what else could something be, that effects you without knowing what it is exactly, if not love?

I love you. And I always will. I'll stand beside you. I'll solve all your problems with you because I want you to be happy just like you made me happy. You should know that in your unstable world right know, there is someone who will surely stand by your side. Me.”

Alec put both hands over Magnus's, his eyes widened and he looked like he would start to cry every minute. At this sight, Magnus's mouth curled up in a small smile, small but very lovely and it made Alec lean forward to touch Magnus's lips with his own. The kiss was very soft and slow, and Magnus could feel how Alec's lips were trembling. The Shadowhunter broke the contact and rested his forehead against his boyfriend's. Swallowing, he moved his hand to Magnus's neck.

“I love you.” he said under his breath which tickled hotly against Magnus's face.

“I love you, too.” Magnus replied. “We will figure something out, okay? I can come with you to talk with your parents. Maybe they'll listen to both of us. Maybe I can show them how much I love you. That I truly love you. We should try making them understand. Alright?”

Alec nodded.

“Thank you.” he whispered as he pulled Magnus close again to press their lips together, Magnus tangling his arms around Alec to grip him firmly but tenderly.