#theoreticalconstruct

Rating: Teen Relationship: Barret/Cloud/Tifa, Zack/Cloud, Aerith/Tifa, Barret/Myrna Characters: Cloud Strife, Barret Wallace, Tifa Lockhart Additional Tags: Soulbonds, happiness, Loneliness, Developing Relationship, Polyamory, Relationship Study, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Lost Love, Soulmate-Identifying Marks Wordcount: 2,557

thanks for the prompt!!! i hope i did this one justice (ba-dum tsh)

“—and that is why, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my clients are innocent of the crime they’ve been falsely accused of,” Haruhi concludes, a little out of breath from the emphasis and force she had put into her opening statement.

However, instead of silence, she hears clapping from behind her and with a spike in irritation she turns to confirm that it is, indeed, her boyfriend-slash-client Tamaki Suoh, tears in his eyes and a dopey smile plastered over his face.

She casts a look to Kyouya, her other boyfriend-slash-client, and Kyouya, arms previously crossed, snatches Tamaki’s hands in one of his mid-clap.

He had to speak up now, so he did. "I never did get an answer from you, Sigrun."

Answer? Oh, the question he had posed at dinner, which had been interrupted.

And how long ago was that? The past day had been a blur. She remembered Zenos beating the snot out of people beyond his natural capabilities before turning to her--

Again she had fallen. Sigrun only remembered weakly reaching out to Yugiri before the voice that kept calling her made her black out.

They absolutely would!! Malarklina would singlehandedly solve all of the world’s problems. Zoyagenyalina would cure world hunger. Maldarkolai and Darknikolina would just be fucking amazing.

Don't Ship It

Why don't you ship it?

Touga’s 17 and I have compassion for him. Yeah yeah he goes out of his way to act grown and invulnerable and he’s a manipulative little shit himself, but Akio’s using, abusing and grooming him into a successor and Akio can get fucked. Touga needs to escape Akio’s orbit if he’s ever going to heal and improve.

What would have made you like it?

Nothing, it is simply the nature of the relationship that I object to.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

For Celes/Setzer!

Ship It

1. What made you ship it? I always loved their interactions, but what 100% secured this into OTP territory for me was the scene you get when you don’t have Locke in your group during the credits (for those who don’t know, Celes runs back to grab the bandana and Setzer saves, teases her about how she still owes him an encore performance and then admires her bravery for going back to get the bandana, because it must mean a lot to her). Like... wow, he just really cares about her. SO MUCH. Even if she never reciprocates, he wants the best for her and I just.... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THEM.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship? EVERYTHING???? Honestly, I love how they contrast one another, whether it’s in how they were brought up or view the world or their personalities or priorities. I feel like they’d be at odds with each other for quite some time until they came to understand one another. I love the idea of Setzer helping Celes relax for once and Celes showing Setzer he doesn’t need to fly away all the time and actually find something he doesn’t want to gamble. They just... compliment each other SO WELL and while it would be a slow burn of a rocky start, they’d make it work and last.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? Honestly, the fact I ship them is already an unpopular opinion so the hell do I know? This is a general unpopular opinion I have, but it still applies to them - I don’t think they would ever “settle down” in a traditional sense. None of this getting married, having kids, buying a house, blah blah blah. I think they’d live two wildly different lives that sometimes intersect and they support one another despite that. Like Setzer is always going to have some lucrative idea to make bank on and Celes is helping protect the post-canon world and ensure peace lives.

And now for Setzer/Terra (I literally went WHAT?? out loud)

Don't Ship It

1. Why don't you ship it? There’s just... zero chemistry between them? Like Setzer has that one throwaway line about not leaving a pretty lady in need when they fly off to Zozo. And he also grabs her when the Blackjack is falling apart, but uh... that’s it? Oh and I guess he saves with the Falcon when she’s falling at the end and Terra thanks him? But like... Celes is also panicking during that scene, so I always figured Setzer was doing it for Celes. Also what’s he going to do? LET TERRA DIE??? I dunno, that part felt like a tally for Celes/Terra than it is for Setzer/Terra. And as someone who lives in rarepair hell and scrapes the bottom of the barrel for canon proof of some of these ships, I get it. But there’s just so little to spark my attention. They both have more interesting interactions with other characters for me to ever consider them.

2. What would have made you like it? Again, maybe an actual meaningful scene? Anything?

Q: A ship you’ve abandoned and why

To be honest, I ship everything and everybody under the sun (within limits), so this one is tricky. Perhaps Naruto/Hinata? I’ve been a fan of that pairing for years (since I was fourteen lol), but seeing how it unfolded in canon just ruined it for me. I feel like Hinata had a lot of potential, but now she’s just... stuck at home. Kishimoto treats his female characters like trash, and it infuriates me (don’t even get me started on Sakura). 

R: A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

Elena/Reeve Tuesti’s assistant. I discovered it from @tofucasserole’s rarepair list and god damn it, I stan. I don’t know why, but I do. If the FFVII fandom can fluff up random-ass dudes that only show up for five seconds, why can’t I do the same for Reeve Tuesti’s assistant? 

S: Show us an example of your personal headcanon 

Aerith can’t drive.

It’s not a matter of “preferring not to”, or “needing more practice”. She cannot drive. The universe does not want her to drive, and will do everything in its power to stop her from doing so. In every AU I’ve planned that could potentially put her behind the wheel, she just fails at it. Aerith is the kind of person who would merge into traffic without a signal. She’d accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the brake. She’d somehow wedge a diesel nozzle into her car’s fuel... hole... and ruin the engine.