#theoandreader

"you're already on page 200?" you didn't even hear the voice beside as you were so concentrated on staring at the slytherin table.

it was a rather warm thursday morning in november as you sat at breakfast with your friends. the hall was bustling with the excited chatter about the upcoming quidditch game between slytherin and gryffindor and it seemed like the team had never been fitter.

slytherin was a strong opponent, even the most stubborn gryffindor had to admit that.

"earth to y/n" hermione waved her hand before your eyes and you focused your eyes on her.

"huh?"

"ron asked you something" hermione nudged your arm softly and your head turned in ron's direction.

"yeah" you nodded, absentmindedly "what was your question?"

harry and hermione giggled, while ron looked a bit offended at your lack of interest.

"if you would stop staring at our biggest enemies, maybe you could hear what i'm saying"

"calm down" harry rolled his eyes "it's just a quidditch match"

"funny that you of all people are saying that" ginny spoke up from next to the boy "as if you weren't the one reserving the quidditch pitch every single afternoon for two weeks straight for practice"

"well, they're not bad at what they do, are they?" harry said defensively and ginny shrugged.

with a sigh, and a piece of paper in the middle to mark your page, you closed your book, having lost the last bit of interest in continuing.

"you just started this yesterday" ron resumed to the question he had asked you a few minutes ago "how come you're already so far in?"

"i'm just a quick reader"

"yeah, sure" hermione laughed "or maybe because reading a book gives you an excuse to stare at theodore nott from time to time, while he is doing his homework in the library"

"i'm not" you said rather loudly, before your voice returned to a whisper "i'm not staring at theodore nott"

"sure you aren't" hermione leaned closer over the table and send you a teasing glance. "i never even saw you so much as glance in his direction"

"yeah, right" you nodded, not catching the obvious sarcasm in her tone.

"eh, ladies?" harry asked with a turned head "he's coming right this way"

"what?" you and hermione asked at the same time as ron asked "who?"

"nott" harry quickly whispered, before said boy laid a hand on the tabletop right in front of the chosen one, his eyes clearly on you.

"hey" theodore nott said friendly and your eyes widened. he was wearing his usual slytherin uniform, but his tie was loosened as it was hanging around his neck. you had the sudden urge to fix it, but had the strength to hold you back from it.

"hi" you were quick to answer.

before he could explain what he was trying to do, ron interrupted your very short conversation "quite bold coming here" he raised his eyebrows at the boy.

"ron" hermione quickly scolded, but theo shook his head laughing.

"he's not wrong" theo said and then smiled at you "i'm rather bold"

hermione noticed that you and the boy were too busy staring at each other, so she did what she could to help you. "were you trying to ask y/n something, theodore?"

"yeah, actually" theo nodded and your heart was thumping so loudly, you feared he could hear it. "are you coming to the quidditch match next friday?"

ron groaned, which was quickly followed by a cry of pain as hermione kicked him under the table.

"sure" you smiled at the boy.

"great" theo smiled and his smile was so dreamy, you feared you would simply pass out. "i'll see you then" he tapped his invisible hat, before he turned around and walked back to the slytherin table where his friends were waiting for him.

you rested your chin on your hand, as you watched after him.

"is she coming to the quidditch match?" harry repeated confused.

"yeah" ron added, rolling his eyes "that is the stupidest question i've ever heard, i mean her own house is playing and her brother is captain of the team"

"maybe he doesn't know that" you muttered.

"doesn't know what?" hermione laughed "that you and harry are siblings? i highly doubt it"

"then why is he running around asking stupid questions?" ron crossed his arms. he was clearly not liking the way both you and hermione seemed so fond of the slytherin boy.

"good point" harry pointed in ron's direction.

ginny and hermione exchanged a look, before the latter began to speak. "you guys clearly don't get it. he wanted an excuse to speak to y/n"

"why should he want to speak to y/n?" ron seemed like he had made it his personal mission to sound like an idiot.

"ron!" ginny scolded before she hit the arm of her older brother "he wants to speak to y/n, because he's clearly in love with her"

you head spun around so fast, that harry almost choked on his pumpkin juice. "he's what?" you and ron asked at the same time.

"oh this is so romantic" ginny muttered while she stared at you dreamingly.

hermione couldn't help but smile at your horrified facial expression. "aren't you happy about that?" she laughed.

you shook your head. "happy?" you repeated "this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me"

"i thought you liked him?" harry asked and you couldn't help but smile at the compassionate tone in his voice. he normally hated when you would speak about boys.

"i do" you admitted almost silently as your cheeks turned rosy. "but staring at him was so much easier than actually talking to him. him liking me back possibly means that we could get into a relationship. this is way too real"

"women" ron cried helplessly. "you never know what you want"

"oh i know what i want" you laughed sarcastically.

"and that would be?" harry asked and he seemed just as confused as ron.

"for that boy to stay far away on his side of the hall" you nodded, before you gathered your book and stood up from the table. "now, please excuse me, i have to go get my things before class starts. on top of that i spent enough time today talking about boys"

your friends smiled as you waved goodbye at them and left the great hall.

"she can't be serious, right?" harry asked hermione and ginny.

"i don't even know" hermione shrugged, before she quickly changed the topic, knowing you wouldn't appreciate them talking about you behind your back.

you walked through the corridor and in the direction of the gryffindor common room. it wasn't that you didn't like theo, it was more that you really liked him that was the scary part.

you had liked him since the beginning of the year and you were scared that reality couldn't come close to the fantasy you had build around the boy.

you admired so much about him. his interest in quidditch and that he, even when slytherin lost, was never unfair. he was smart, without being unkind to people when they were wrong. he liked silence as much as he liked talking to his friends. and sometimes when his eyes would fall upon you, there was a friendly glint in them which would make your heart flutter.

but maybe theo wasn't all that. maybe he was different than anything you had observed about him. you would prefer to always just imagine things, rather than having them destroyed. it wouldn't be his fault if he wasn't like you had imagined him to be, it would be all yours, but you would also hurt his feelings in the process and that just wasn't fair.

later, after the first few lessons of the day, you didn't go to lunch as you normally did, but sat down in the library, starting your potions essay.

"i see you're already on that, huh?" you shrieked at the sudden voice beside you. theo was leaning on the shelf next to you and raised his eyebrows at your expression. "i didn't mean to startle you"

"you didn't" you shook your head, but he could clearly see through your lie. "why are you here?" you asked, quickly distracting from what you had said.

"i was looking for you" theo said matter of factly as he walked around the table and sat down in front of you "you weren't at lunch so i came here"

"how did you know where i was?"

"i often see you reading or doing homework here, so i figured it was worth a try"

you nodded at his words. "and why were you looking for me?"

he laughed at your persistency "i fear i made an idiot ouf of myself at breakfast this morning"

"i don't think that's possible" your argued.

"it happens more often than you would think"

"does it now?" you laughed and theo closed his eyes as embarrassment flooded his features.

"i'm sorry" he said "i never seem to find the right words when talking to you"

you had to smile at the honesty with which he admitted that. "i don't think you're an idiot" you said softly and theo smiled relieved.

"i'm glad you don't" he stood up "it would be too bad if i already lost all my chances with you after two conversations. assuming i even have a chance with you?“

you watched his features closely. the lips that were turned upright in an unsure smile, the flushed cheeks and the glint of hope in his blue eyes. you thought for a moment, deciding that there was no reason for you to be afraid. the boy had clearly proved that he was as kind as you had imagined him to be. "yeah" you smiled up at him "you do"

"great" theo smiled "good luck on your essay"

"thank you" you watched him walk out of the library before you rolled up the parchment and took out your novel, deciding it was the right time to continue reading it, while your heart was fluttering inside your chest.

the next morning your were sitting at the gryffindor table as usual, turning the pages as you read your book and ate breakfast at the same time.

"you guys must be so excited for friday" luna said when she sat down next to ginny and harry. "this is your first game, right ron?"

ron eagerly nodded his head, the nerves playing inside his mind these past few weeks.

"he's a bit nervous" harry smiled and luna nodded understandingly.

"morning" a voice behind harry said and all your friends turned their heads.

"y/n?" ron asked at your lack of reaction.

"i warn you, if you're interrupting me to ask something unimportant again..." you mumbled, your eyes still fixated on the book in front of you.

"i don't think that's what he was planning to do" hermione giggled and you looked up, then turning your head in the direction in which she was looking, only now seeing theo standing next to you.

"good morning" theo repeated and you smiled.

"hey"

"may i?" he pointed at the empty spot on the bench beside you and you nodded.

hermione and ginny exchanged a look as harry and ron did the same.

theo muttered something into your ear, which none of your friends could hear, making you laugh and nod.

then he began eating like normal. occasionally he would whisper something at you, waiting for your answer, before the both of you referred back to eating and reading in your case.

your friends watched with wide eyes how quickly you and theo had fallen into a simple rhythm in which both of you were biting down at your toast and he would turn the page of your book anytime you nodded.

"is this the twilight zone?" ron whispered.

"how do you know what the twilight zone is?" hermione whispered back harshly and ron shrugged.

theo and you had finished eating, when he muttered something to you once again and you nodded, gathering your book as you both stood up.

"wait, where are you going?" ron asked.

"uh, doing our homework" you quickly excused, before you followed theo out of the hall, both of your giggling.

all of your friends had been watching you with dumbfounded expressions. and to their horror, the days of unexpected absurdities did not end there.

theo came to sit with you and your friends every day of the following week. engaging in friendly conversation and spending much time around you in general. on two mornings your friends had even seen you sitting with theo's friends.

theo even came to sit with you on the day of the quidditch match, going as far as wishing harry and ron luck.

later that day, when they were all sitting around in the courtyard, draco malfoy, followed by the rest of his friends, walked closer. you and theo had been nowhere to be found, as usual for this past week.

harry, expecting the usual kind of insults, sighed when his eyes fell on malfoy.

"malfoy" he greeted.

"potter" malfoy nodded and the gryffindors perked up at the lack of hostility in his tone. he looked to his friends (mattheo, lorenzo and blaise) and then back to the dark haired boy, before he sighed. "seems like your sister and our boy are in love now or something"

harry quirked a brow while him and hermione exchanged a look.

"and as much as i hate that, i think we'll have to expect some sort of—" he stopped, searching for the right word, while spotting a disgusted expression "involvement with each other"

"we don't need to be friends" harry shrugged and hermione nodded. ron rolled his eyes, annoyed that they were even talking with malfoy in the first place and ginny just seemed confused, as blaise raised his hand and waved at her, blowing her a kiss in the next second.

"i agree" draco nodded "but theo is, sadly, too kind for his own good"

"yeah" mattheo added as he saw the confused look on harry's features "he wants to make sure that there is no animosity between us and y/n's friends, as he put it"

"well, that's nice" hermione nodded impressed.

draco send her a tortured expression. "yeah, whatever"

"we just wanted to make sure that all of us agree to be respectful of theo's and y/n's relationship" enzo smiled and immediately received an elbow from draco to his side.

"no need to be so cheerful about it" the blonde boy muttered.

"anyway" hermione concluded, with a stern undertone in her voice, as she stepped next to harry, "we should all do what is best for our friends, right guys?" she turned around to also receive ginny's and ron's agreement.

ginny nodded "of course" before she nudged ron, until he reluctantly nodded his head as well.

"great" draco nodded, before he outstretched his hand to shake harry's "potter"

"malfoy" harry replied as he shook the boys hand, agreeing to give their rivalry a rest for the sake of their friends. "we're still going to destroy you in the game today"

"wouldn't expect any less" draco almost smiled.

the boys turned around to leave, blaise hitting harrys shoulder in a friendly manner, before they were interrupted by theo and you coming around the corner, laughing.

"hey guys" you greeted and to the gryffindors surprise, the slytherins replied to your greeting, which didn't seem as forced as them talking to your friends before.

theo nudged your shoulder, saying a quick goodbye, before he left you with your friends and followed his friends out of the courtyard.

"what the fuck?" ginny said the moment the boys had been far enough away and you had sat down in the grass beside her.

"i can't believe what just happened" hermione seemed just as surprised and harry nodded. even ron did not say anything.

"what?" you laughed as you looked between the stunned faces of your friends.

"i think draco malfoy just apologized or something"

"he did?" you wondered as you turned in the direction in which the boys had disappeared.

"i don't know what you did" harry said "but it's clearly more powerful than any kind of magic i've ever witnessed"

"i think theo really really likes you" hermione muttered "at least enough to have a stern word with his friends. it's important for him that they behave"

"we hung out with them a few hours ago" you explained "they're friendly and quite funny. even draco, when he wants to"

"i can't grasp this" ron mumbled "just a little more than a week ago you said theodore nott speaking to you was the worst thing that's ever happened and now you're both basically married, blending your families like in that adam sandler movie"

"what is it with you and muggle television references?" ginny muttered confused, while ron just shrugged once again.

"well, i don't know" you smiled "i had feared that he would be totally different than what i had expected, but he isn't. he is even better than that. he's funny and kind and speaking to him is so easy"

"you're really like him, don't you?" harry asked and you softly nodded as your cheeks turned red.

"i do" you looked between your friends "is that okay with you guys?"

"if even draco malfoy behaves himself just because theodore told him to, i fear that he can't get any more perfect for you" hermione joked "so of course it's okay with us"

"harry?" you asked hopeful as all eyes turned to your brother, not even ron dared to protest.

"i just want you to be happy" he shrugged "and it seems like that's all what nott wants too"

you smiled while you hugged him. "i'll have to change before the game, are you coming with?" you asked ginny and hermione, who excitedly giggled at the possibility to hear all the details on your and theo's afternoon.

you took your time getting ready for the game, loudly singing along to your favorite songs as you looked for the perfect outfit and did your make up.

ginny and hermione exchanged glances anytime you would speak about theo and your smile was so big you looked like you could've burst.

you arrived perfectly on time to the game. it took longer than any other one you had watched, both gryffindor and slytherin being strong teams and constantly cancelling each other out.

finally the game ended, when draco caught the snitch and the points of the slytherin outweighed the gryffindors.

the mood in the gryffindor stands was quite sour, but you couldn't help but be a bit excited for theo, who had thrown a lot of goals.

"hey" you smiled as theo came out of the slytherin changing rooms. his hair still dripping from the shower he had taken moments prior.

"hey" he answered "where are your friends?" he looked around you, noticing the almost empty gryffindor stands. it was cute that he worried they had just left you here.

"oh, i told them to go without me" you shrugged "i wanted to wait for you" theo smiled as that.

"then lets go" he outstretched his hand and you took it, like it was perfectly normal for you both to hold hands. "there's a party, at the slytherin common room"

"are you inviting me?" you laughed and theo nodded.

"yeah, i thought maybe you'd like to come"

"ron was right, i am absolutely fraternizing with the enemy"

theo shrugged, but nodded "looks like we're both going to hell"

you laughed at that, but quickly stopped when he let go of your hand. you looked up at him in surprise, but he did not say anything. instead he used his now free hand, to open the castles door for you.

you turned around as you waited for him to enter and close the door too.

“well, and they say chivalry is—“ he turned around joking, but was quickly interrupted by you pressing your lips to his. his bag hit the ground with a thud, as he pulled you closer by your hips.

the world seemed to fade away as you melted into the kiss. theo's arms tightened around you, his fingers pressing into the small of your back as if he never wanted to let go. the warmth of his touch and the intensity of the moment sent shivers down your spine.

breaking the kiss, you rested your forehead against his, both of you catching your breath. theo's eyes were darker, more intense than you'd ever seen them. "i've wanted to do that since you made draco trip in our third year" he whispered, his voice husky.

"what?" you laughed.

"i think he said something stupid like he normally does, but you had that expression on your face, like you wouldn't just let him get away with it and before i could finish thinking about what you planned to do, you raised your foot and draco fell over"

"oh, yeah" you giggled "i remember that"

"he whined for weeks about you and your stupid gryffindor friends" theo explained "and all i could think about was that you were the most beautiful girl i had ever seen. i wanted to speak to you ever since then, but never had the guts to"

"what changed your mind?" your voice was just above a whisper as you looked up to him with big eyes.

"my friends and you"

you furrowed your brows, confused how he meant that.

"well, my friends always tried to get me to just speak to you, but what really got me to do it, was when you started seeing me. back in third year i wasn't even sure you knew my name and then you had that boyfriend for two years and i thought everything was over, but then we ran into each other at the start of the year, do you remember?"

"i do" you admitted truthfully. you remembered it so clearly, it was the moment you had begun to like him, as he went to grab your book, that had fallen out of your hands and smiled up at you with such kind eyes.

"you thanked me for getting your book" theo recalled "and you actually knew my name"

"i didn't know you liked me for that long" you said "i thought i was just having a one sided crush on someone i could never have a relationship with"

"it's very far from one sided" theo smiled "and i promise i'll be better than any boyfriend you have had before"

you smiled at him, before you once again connected your lips. he walked you backwards, until your back was pressed against the wall. you were sure you had never met someone that was so good at kissing.

students were jumping to the side as pansy parkinson was rushing through the halls of hogwarts, eager to spot the dark-haired boy she had been looking for for the past ten minutes.

“theo!” pansy called when she spotted him in the library, chatting away with the rest of their friends.

“hey, pansy” theo greeted but he furrowed his eyebrows when he noticed her expression. “are you alright?”

“it’s not me” pansy shook her head “it’s y/n”

the chair made a loud sound as it was pushed over the floor as theo stood up abruptly “is she alright?”

“she’s in the infirmary” pansy turned around and theo was close behind her, following her back out of the library and down the hall.

“what happened?” theo asked as pansy started moving even faster. “pansy”

“i think it’s something serious” pansy answered “she send me a patronus to get you and meet her there”

“shit” theo was brushing a hand through his hair, his face having lost all its color. they were rushing through the hallway and theo was trying his best to not fall into a sprint, fearing that pansy would not be able to keep up.

finally, the door to the infirmary flew open and theo and pansy walked into the room. a few curtains had been drawn close and madam pomfrey looked up at the sudden commotion.

“mister nott, miss parkinson” she greeted friendly and like she had suspected them both to arrive here soon

“where is y/n?” pansy asked out of breath

madam pomfrey smiled and pointed to the bed a few ones down. the curtain was closed and theo, closely followed by pansy, rushed forward, pulling it to the side.

“hey guys” you were sitting in bed, eating some jell-o. the rest of your body was under the blanket and a bit of your foot, wrapped up in blue bandages, showed up at the end.

“are you alright?” theo asked confused

“oh yeah” you laughed, making a throwaway hand gesture “i’m perfectly fine. poppy has been keeping me company”

“poppy?” pansy repeated confused. her and theo exchanged a glance, while you were busy waving at madam pomfrey

“this jell-o is amazing!”

“thank you, dear” she smiled and theo watched you gulp another giant piece of bright green jell-o.

“do you guys want some?” you held the bowl in their direction but both of them shook their heads.

“what happened? why are you even here?” theo asked

“yeah” pansy added, crossing her arms “and why do you call madam pomfrey poppy?” she whispered

“well, i fell down my broom” you brushed the blanket to the side, exposing your bandaged foot “it’s broken and it hurt like hell to put back in place, but whatever” you shrugged, slurping the rest of your jell-o down

“what?” theo and pansy exclaimed at the same time.

“i’ve been here for some time” you nodded “so poppy and i became kinda friends i guess”

“so when exactly did you have that accident?” theo asked exasperated

“oh, like this morning?” you wondered “right before classes began”

“it’s almost seven” pansy noted “that’s like ten hours ago, y/n”

“she’s right” theo nodded “you only thought about calling us now?”

“well you were in class and then i slept for a while, so yeah” you shrugged your shoulders, while your friends exchanged confused glances.

"so, y/n" madam pomfrey said when she came back to your bed "i'd say you're good to go. i got you a few more pain potions from professor snape that you can take whenever you feel like you need some, but apart from that you should be alright. we can remove the cast in two weeks, thanks to the quick healing potion i gave you"

"thank you, poppy"

the woman nodded, before she called for a house elf, who brought you crutches you could use during the time your leg needed to heal.

"you're free to take her back to the common room" madam pomfrey instructed pansy and theo. "she needs a bit of rest, but she should be alright to go back to classes on monday"

"so soon?" theo's eyes widened and the protectiveness was evident in his voice.

"of course, mr nott" madam pomfrey laughed at the boys eagerness "we don't want her to miss too much, or grow bored in her dorm, but i'm sure that y/n will gracefully accept any assistance you're willing to provide"

she really shouldn't have said that last part, because theo eagerly nodded. at that moment you had thought that theo's help would be a blessing, but over the coming week you quickly learned how wrong your judgement had been.

he spend every minute close to you, and with that there was no exception. even when you went to the toilet, he was waiting in front of the door for you to return.

he carried your books to every class, even if you didn't share it and made sure to wait after it was over. he often even carried you around, claiming that it had to be far too straining for you to walk around on crutches the whole day.

you loved theo for all the care he was directing your way, but you were also getting tired of it.

it wasn't until thursday that you were able to escape his sight for the first time. and that was only thanks to pansy and mattheo, who had promised you to keep him occupied so you could slip away.

you arrived at the infirmary quicker than you had thought was possible due to your injury, but you were sure it was because of the fear that theo was already chasing you.

"y/n" madam pomfrey said surprised when she saw you standing in the door.

"poppy" you ecxlaimed relieved at the sight of the older woman. "you have to give me something that'll make my leg heal faster, please"

"i can't" madam pomfrey shook her head "the healing potion i gave you a few days ago is the quickest there is. it's only one more week, i'm sure you can wait that long"

"no" you shook your head "another week is way too long"

"i'm sorry, but you'll have to endure that" madam pomfrey excused "healing takes time, sweetheart, like everything else"

"okay, sure" you nodded "can you take me back then? it's probably not beneficial for me to walk around and possibly jeopardize the healing"

madam pomfrey laughed and you send her a sulky look, before she suddenly stopped.

"oh" she exclaimed surprised "you were serious"

"of course" you crossed your arms, which was kind of hard with the crutches still in hand "i wouldn't joke about such a thing, poppy"

"but why would you—"

"here you are" you turned around slowly, like voldemort himself was standing behind you. it wasn't voldemort, but you had to admit, that you would've preferred him.

"theo" you smiled through clenched teeth.

"i searched half the castle for your whereabouts" now that he mentioned it, he did sound out of breath. "walking through the whole castle must've been tiring for you, why didn't you ask me to come with you? i could've carried you if necessary"

you turned your head to look at madam pomfrey, who seemed to slowly understand your situation as she looked a bit disturbed about theo's monologue. you send her a look to the extent of: this is what i had to deal with all week, before you turned back to the boy behind you.

"it's alright, theo" you smiled "i'm fine, really"

"are you sure, love?" theo furrowed his brows "because we do have to walk all the way back and down to the dungeons. you know what? maybe it would be smarter for me to carry you" he was already bending down, a hand on the small of your back, while his other was reaching for your healthy leg.

your eyes widened at that and you jumped away, so his hand was grabbing the air. theo furrowed his brows, but did not say anything, as he walked a step closer and tried the same again, with you hopping away just before he could reach your leg with his hand once more.

"what are you doing?" theo muttered as he grew embarrassed of your little charade in front of madam pomfrey.

madam pomfrey was grinning at the ridiculous dance the two of you were acting out in front of her eyes. she almost felt sorry for theo as he helplessly tried to lift you off the ground, back bend and his body in an umcomfortable stretch.

"what are you—" he reached around you and you quickly slipped away, hiding behind madam pomfrey. "y/n" theo sighed, when he looked up.

"i can walk on my own" you said defensively, one crutch in your hand, the other laying on the ground beside theo.

"but it's easier if i just carry you" theo pleaded "come on, don't be difficult"

you perked your nose up, offended by his words.

theo sighed again. "sorry, that was stupid" he shrugged "can i now help you please?"

you sighed too, exchanging a look with madam pomfrey, who shrugged, before you nodded. you hopped back in theo's direction. collecting your other clutch from the ground before your raised both of them up, waiting for theo to lift you.

"see?" theo mumbled, when you both had said goodbye to madam pomfrey and were on your way back to the slytherin common room. "it's way easier this way"

"yeah, yeah" you nodded, still a bit offended about the way he held you for completely uncapable. you knew he meant good, but god you couldn't wait to get rid of this stupid cast.

he sat you down on the couch, your leg prepped up beside you on a pillow and enlightened the flame in the fireplace.

"thank you, theo" you said reluctantly. "i really do appreciate your help, even if i think you could tone it down a bit"

theo smiled. "it's just who i am, i feel like it's my obligation to help my friends if they're hurt"

"it isn't" you assured "but thank you"

you had laid back your head, lazily closing your eyes. theo was right, walking around all day was tiring for you.

"don't be a baby, draco" pansy's voice made both theo and you shriek up. you had fallen asleep, his head on top of yours.

"it hurts terribly" draco said defensively.

"i can't be that bad when she let you go back to the common room after two hours in the hospital wing" mattheo remarked.

pansy and mattheo had walked in first. behind them draco... on crutches!

"i don't even understand that! y/n was there for a whole day"

"well, y/n's not such a nuisance" pansy remarked, dashing out of the way, before draco could hit her with one of his crutches.

"what happened?" you asked and it was only then that the three of them noticed theo and you.

"i broke my leg" draco answered "it was a terrible accident, actually"

"was it?" mattheo had to hold back his laughter. "we were trying to finish our divination project, when draco said it was stupid, spilled his tea and promptly slipped on it"

"yeah, as i said, terrible accident"

"deserved accident" pansy corrected "i was not finished with that cup"

"whatever" draco threw himself down on the cushion beside you "the next two weeks are going to be torture.“

"don't worry" you smiled "i bet theo is burning to help you. are you gonna carry him around too, theo?" you asked, turning to your brunette friend and trying hard to stifle your laughter at the expression on his face.

"oh that would be pretty helpful" draco muttered, before theo had a chance to intervene.

"i don't think i—" theo tried explaining, but you interrupted him.

"it's just who i am, i feel like it's my obligation to help my friends if they're hurt" you quoted his own words back to him, voice a bit lower than usual "weren't that your words?"

"i can't carry draco around" theo protested again.

"why not?" mattheo smiled smugly, having witnessed all the times theo had insisted on carrying you. "you did carry y/n around a lot"

"that's different"

"how is that different?" pansy wondered. you could see that she was enjoying the way, theo was helplessly searching for a way out of this conversation. "y/n's leg is broken, so is draco's"

"you can't really expect me to do this, guys" theo laughed uncomfortably, his laughter quickly dying out at all your serious expressions.

"don't you love me, mate?" draco asked disappointed and clearly high on medicine.

theo's face turned a shade paler. "draco, it's not that i don't care—"

"come on, theo," draco pouted dramatically, "i'm your best mate. plus, it's your obligation to help friends who are hurt, remember?"

you almost had to giggle. draco was acting totally out of character, clearly being the cause of all the medication madam pomfrey had given him. you could remember how you had felt after..

pansy crossed her arms, thoroughly enjoying theo's discomfort. "you can't argue with that, theo."

theo sighed deeply, realizing there was no way out. "fine, but only if you promise to stop calling me out for being too helpful."

draco's eyes lit up. "deal! now, could you please carry me to my bed? i think the couch isn't comfortable enough for my poor leg."

suppressing a groan, theo bent down to lift draco. as he did, draco whispered, "be gentle, theo. i’m very fragile right now."

"more than usual?" you laughed and draco crossed his arms, offended at the joke.

mattheo, pansy and you struggled to contain your laughter as theo gingerly picked draco up, muttering under his breath about "suffering for friendship."

draco grinned as theo carried him out of the common room. pansy turned to you, shaking her head in mock disbelief. "honestly, this might be the best entertainment we've had in weeks."

"agreed," you laughed, watching the spectacle.

you all shared a good laugh, your worries about theo's overprotectiveness momentarily forgotten. when theo returned, looking thoroughly exhausted, you couldn't help but smirk.

"enjoy your workout, theo?" you teased.

theo shot you a tired but good-natured glare. "just remember, y/n, i'm doing this out of love."

pansy snorted. "and draco’s enjoying every minute of it out of sheer spite."

"i think he'll come back to his senses tomorrow" mattheo announced, before he, quickly followed by pansy, excused himself to bed.

"in all seriousness" theo said, turning to you after your friends had left "i did it out of love for you too"

you smiled at him, admittedly feeling a bit bad about the way you had treated him, even though he was just trying to help you. "i'm sorry" you excused "i shouldn't have been as dramatic as i was, you were trying to be nice and i ruined it"

"i wouldn't want to change a single thing about you, you know?" theo shrugged "i admire that you always handle things on your own, but it was really courageous and sweet of you to accept my help."

"thanks" you grinned "and just so you know, i did it out of love"

theo's smile widened, his gaze softening as he looked at you. there was a moment of silent understanding between the two of you, a mutual recognition of feelings that had been simmering beneath the surface. slowly, he leaned in closer, his hand gently reaching up to brush a strand of hair away from your face.

your heart skipped a beat as his warm breath tickled your skin. the air around you seemed to crackle with anticipation as he closed the gap between you. his lips met yours in a tender kiss, a gentle affirmation of the unspoken emotions that had brought you both here.

when you finally pulled back, both of you were smiling, your faces flushed with a mixture of excitement and contentment.

“i’m glad i finally did that” he admitted.

"me too," you replied, your voice barely more than a whisper, your fingers gently tracing the contours of his cheek. "but you could've kissed me without hurting your back all week"

the soft tunes of christmas music filled the air around you. the great hall was less filled than normal, most of the students deciding to go home for the holidays. 

"can you pass me the potatoes, please?" ron's red hair was illuminated by the soft glow of the fairylights behind him. the auburn sweater he was wearing was highlighting the contrast even more. 

"here" hermione said, holding the bowl across the table, as ron eagerly grabbed it. 

"where's ginny?" harry muttered. he had his nose buried in a book about quidditch techniques you had bought in hogsmeade. he had been busy studying it all night, but apparently not busy enough to not notice ginny's absence. 

"she's sitting with luna" you pointed out, as your eyes glided along the slytherin table. ginny and her had grown closer since the beginning of the year and you had to admit that you had quickly taken a liking to the blonde girl. she was a bit strange, admittedly, but lovely none the less. 

"she's been busy all year" ron muttered, mouth filled to the brim. "seems like we've gotten too boring for her"

"allow your sister to have her own friends" hermione shoke her head. "and for gods sake, please close your mouth, ronald."

despite the approaching festivity, the atmosphere in the hall was eerie. maybe because only a few people were sitting at eachs house table, making the hall seem weirdly out of place. 

the slytherin table was by far the emptiest. probably because most purblooded and traditional wizard families made a hail mary out of everything that would allow a party, showing off their wealth and status. 

the only thing that contradicted this assumption was that several children from the most influential pureblood families had chosen to stay. your gaze swept across the table, taking in each one in turn.

draco malfoy, displaying a usual attitude of displeasurement. you guessed that the malfoys weren't the people to listen to christmas music around the holidays. 

next to him, blaise zabini, who was munching on a mouth full portion of potatoes just like ron was. 

across from them and her back facing the rest of the hall, including your line of sight, pansy parkinson. her perfect cut bob of black hair moving slightly everytime she turned her head to the side, as she attentively listened to what draco was telling her. 

a few feet away, mattheo riddle and lorenzo berkshire were quietly discussing something. it looked somewhat urgent, as both of them leaned over the table top, and not even mattheo, whose face you could see, wore his usual smirk. 

just before you were able to wonder about his absence, you noticed theo nott walk into the hall. he looked just like always, messy curls falling onto his forehead, dark circles under his eyes and that face, that made every thought in your head disappear. 

not that you liked any of them, but theo had always been your favorite. he was a true slytherin. cunning, loyal and determined. even though he had reason enough, there was no arrogant bone in his body. 

you had liked him from the first time you had talked to him last year, when snape had coupled you up for a potions project. he had not even been as pretentious as you had thought he was, considering he was always hanging around malfoy. 

but theo was nice, actually nice. 

"hello?" ron's voice was so sudden, you knocked over the cup of pumpkin juice beside you. 

hermione cleaned the juice off of the table with a simple flick of her wand, as she rolled her eyes at your distractedness. 

"what?" you wondered. 

"the cookies, please?" ron smiled and your expression turned sour when you noticed the pieces of potatoe stuck between his teeth. 

you nodded nonetheless and grabbed the plate of decorated christmas cookies. you took one for yourself, a delicious looking christmas tree, before you planted the whole plate in front of ron, knowing that he was gonna take one cookie after the other anyway. 

"i think we're good company" harry said, and while you weren't exactly sure what he was talking about, you nodded. 

"obviously we are" 

"i mean, she could've brought luna along, right?" he closed the quidditch book with a thud and crossed his arms. 

"ehh" you muttered. you were saved by the loud sound of the door, that flew open and revealed professor burbage. she walked up to the teachers table in a hurry, quickly excusing her late arrival, before she sat down next to dumbledore. 

you noticed the look of worry on her face and wondered what she was thinking about. 

“what’s gotten into her?” hermione asked and you were glad someone else had noticed the professor’s strange behaviour.

“everyone is stressed around christmas, right?” ron muttered without an ounce of interest. 

“i’m sure that’s it” harry nodded, glad that he could now shift the conversation back to it’s initial topic. “so, about ginny—“

“you’re mentioning her an awful lot, harry” you joked, enjoying how your brother’s face lost all it’s colour and his eyes darted between ron and you quickly. ron hadn’t even noticed the implication, if he had even listened to you in the first place. 

you could read the boredom from the redheads face as he rearranged the cookie plate, until it showed a little scene with a christmas tree, huge presents and two happy gingerbread men. 

you tuned the conversation out too, as harry continued to speak. you decided that it was hermiones turn to listen now. 

you rather turned your head to look at theo once more, who looked up at the very same time, probably feeling eyes on him. but he didn’t look in your direction, but to the teachers table. you furrowed your brows, before you followed his line of sight, your eyes ultimately landing on professor burbage. she looked just as worried as before, as she hectically looked between theo and something clutched in her hand. 

you looked back to theo, who simply rolled his eyes, averting his gaze from the teacher and focusing back on the untouched food beside him. draco muttered something in theo’s direction and the latter barely reacted, managing only a weak smile, before his focus was gone again. 

you sighed, deciding you had spent enough time with your friends to leave without feeling bad. “i think i’m gonna head to bed” you smiled, standing up.

“oh” hermione simply noted. “should i accompany you?”

you shook your head, “i’ll be fine”. her offer was nice, but you wanted to be alone for some time. it was especially during times like these, that you most missed what other people had: a real family. you still had harry and your friends, but it was different from what you sometimes wished for. 

“i’ll see you guys tomorrow” you waved. ron, mouth filled to the brim, only waved back to your relief and harry nodded, muttering something about a game of chess ginny had promised. 

you headed out of the hall just a mere second later, pulling your sweater over your head, that you had taken off in the hall, because of the brizzling warmth of the fireplace at your back. you took the usual route to the tower. it was the place you often spend time at whenever you wanted to be alone. 

the stairs creaked loudly beneath each step you took, indicating how old the whole structure was. you walked across the wooden beams, leaning your body over the railing as you breathed in the cold of the air and your eyes wandered across the snow beneath you.

it was so calm up here, so silent.. until. the wood creaked loudly, indicating steps coming up towards you. your heart began beating faster, debating who could be coming up here. you had never ran across someone else at the tower.

maybe it was harry? you stepped closer to the stairs, expecting your brothers dark and messy hair to peak from the entrance, but it wasn’t harry who then stepped onto the plattform across from you.

“hey” theo nott muttered, hands pushed into the pockets of his pants while he looked at you with an unreadable expression on his face. 

“hey” you said, just as neutral. you tried to act casual, as he walked closer and you followed him back to the middle of the plattform, awkwardly standing next to each other. 

theo fished out a cigarette from his pocket. “is this okay?” he asked, pointing between the two of you. 

you furrowed your brows, confused what he was talking about, before you realized that he was probably asking about your permission to keep you company. “sure” you nodded and the lightened his cigarette. 

“you smoke?” he asked, holding the burning cigarette in your direction as if to offer you a blow.

you shoke your head, although you had to admit that it was intruiging to take a drag when a boy with such blue eyes was the one offering it. 

“do you come here often?” you asked softly, deciding it was more awkward to just stare at him in silence. 

“sometimes” theo shrugged. “they get exhausting, my friends i mean”

“yeah, mine too” you nodded. 

“wouldn’t have held you for a person that particuarly likes to be alone” theo muttered, before he turned his head, blowing the smoke out from his lips, without it hitting you. you appreciated the gesture. 

“it gets too much, sometimes” you shrugged. “i don’t mind to be alone”

“then you probably mind my company, huh?” he smirked, looking into your eyes with a deep kind of sincerity.

“not at all” you shook your head, mirroring the smirk on his lips. “although i would prefer malfoy”

“oh shut up” theo laughed, his eyes glistening, almost surprised at the sudden joke. you felt proud that you had made him laugh, even if you had to mention malfoy. 

“i’m so sincere right now” you giggled, both of you not believing a word you were saying. 

theo threw down his cigarette, stomping on it, before he let it disappear with a flick of his wand. he looked up at you and opened his mouth, about to return a witty remark, when a loud bang rang out. 

you both froze at the sound, the laughter abruptly cut off as the echo of the bang bounced off the stone walls. the great hall felt miles away in that moment, and the air thickened with tension. theo’s playful demeanor vanished, replaced by a look of concern.

“what was that?” you whispered, instinctively taking a step closer to him. the sudden shift from light-hearted banter to fear sent a shiver down your spine.

“the door” theo muttered in recognition. the tower was right on top of the entryway to the castle. now that you thought about it, the bang did sound awfully like a heavy door falling close. 

“who would even go out there now?” you wondered, your heart still beating fast as the shock settled into your features.

“i don’t know” theo stepped away and closer to the staircase. “are you coming or what?”

you quickly nodded, as you followed him back down and through the corridor, before you froze in front of the door.

“maybe it was the wind” you suggested, though the tremor in your voice betrayed your uncertainty.

theo raised an eyebrow, a hint of skepticism dancing in his gaze. “you really believe that?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest, his posture relaxed but his expression alert.

“well, it’s possible,” you replied, though you didn’t sound convinced. the notion felt flimsy in the wake of the unsettling noise, and the creeping feeling of dread wasn’t fading.

“possible, sure,” he replied, “but it sounded too loud for the wind. we need to check it out. it could be something... important.”

your heart raced again, this time from a mix of fear and curiosity. “important? like what?” you asked, biting your lip.

“i don’t know,” he admitted, glancing back at the heavy wooden door. “but don’t you think we should at least look? it might be someone in trouble.”

you hesitated, looking back down the corridor where you could see flickers of light from the torches along the walls. “but what if it’s something dangerous?” you countered, feeling a rush of apprehension.

“better to know than to wonder,” he said, his tone serious yet gentle. there was a spark of determination in his eyes, and you found yourself drawn to his confidence. despite the risk, the thought of turning back felt more frightening than facing whatever lay beyond the door.

theo looked back at you once more, before he sighed and nodded, pushing the heavy door open. what revealed itself was the dark of the night, as snow fell into the entrance you were standing in, quickly cooling your face. 

“it’s too dark” theo noted. both of you took out your wands, using lumos to light the way. theo urged you to follow him. the snowfall was so heavy, that even the light of your wands did almost nothing. 

theo was just a few steps beside you, when you felt it. “theo” you whispered, as your body and heart froze simultaneously. “theo” you repeated, a bit louder. you could see the light of theo’s wand come closer again. he had heard you. 

“are you alright?” 

you shook your head, what he probably couldn’t see. you could only make out his body. “there is something there” 

“what do you mean?” 

“i’m feeling it against my foot” you muttered. “there is something on the ground. i’ll have to come closer to make out what it is” 

“be careful” theo held you hand to stabilize your body, as you kneeled down, moving the light of your wand across the object on the ground in front of you. it was dark, black robes, hiding something beneath them. but you just couldn’t make out what it was. 

then suddenly, you gasped in shock. your light glided over a face, mouth, nose dripping blood. wide eyes, opened in terror as they stared at you unmoving. you screamed, falling back into the snow, as theo surged forward, trying to catch you. 

“y/n!” he called, panic rising in his voice as you struggled to breathe, your heart racing wildly “what’s wrong? what is it?”

“professor burbage” you muttered, over and over again. 

“what?” theo leaned in closer, still holding onto you, his face drained of color.

“she’s dead!” you choked out, voice trembling, eyes fixed on the professor’s face, still staring up at you, frozen in her final moment of horror.

you heard theo gasp, his own breath faltering for a moment as he processed what lay before you both. without another word, he pulled you to your feet, wrapping an arm around you to support your shaking body. “we have to go,” he muttered, his voice tight with fear. with one hand, he held his wand forward, the dim light flickering in the swirling snow, while the other held onto you as you stumbled back toward the door.

the last thing you saw as the heavy door closed behind you was professor burbage’s body, half-buried in the snow, her lifeless eyes still staring, as if warning you of something far worse to come.

go to the next part

"would you please just talk to me?" you screamed. he had been acting weird for a few days now. 

at first you hadn't thought anything of it, not at the beginning. it had started with draco, who had been strange since the school year started, staying behind when the rest of you would go somewhere or disappearing in the middle of dinner. 

you had tried talking to him, you had grown closer over the time you and theo were together. you had quickly realized that it was hard for draco to build relationships, partly because he wasn't sure how and partly because he was scared of being left. 

you had done a pretty good job at showing him that you were going nowhere and that he, even if theo and you should break up one day, would still be your friend. 

you had thought that it had something to do with his parents. he didn't mention them often and you had only met them once, during a visit to the manor for a festivity during the winter break of the fifth year. you admitted that you didn't know them well, but it was easy enough for you to judge narcissa malfoy and the connection she had to her son. the love that kept her from ever risking something happening to him.

whatever was going on with him, his mother was well informed and probably already searching for a solution.

but draco had made it clear to you that he wanted to be left alone and you didn't push him to tell you more, just comforted him whenever he would let you or pansy. 

his weird behavior had been a constant throughout the entire year, until the point where it had influenced mattheo and enzo to act just as suspiciously and if you thought it couldn't get worse, you had been wrong. 

"i can't" theo muttered between clenched teeth, and you tried to look at his face as he frantically turned away from you. 

"is it about harry? is it about something he said to draco? did he say something to you?"

harry and the rest of your gryffindor friends were normally a topic you strictly avoided when in company of the slytherins and especially draco. you didn't agree on the childish rivalry they had going on and rather just kept out of that. but now that you thought about it, harry had been acting just as strange as draco had since the beginning of the year.

"potter doesn't matter, y/n" theo pressed his hands on both your shoulders, scaring you with the look on his face. 

"let me help you, love" you tried to not let it affect you, to not let the fear shine through your voice and honestly, you weren't scared of him, but of what would happen to the boy you loved so desperately it felt like breathing. 

"you can't" theo shook his head. "but you have to get ouf of the castle immediately, promise it to me"

"what? why should i--"

"you have to promise it" theo repeated louder, desperate and teary eyed as he stared at you like you had already died. 

the threatening war had made it harder to overlook the differences between you and the slytherins. you were a pureblooded witch, but definitely didn't share the same views about blood purity your friends did. 

"okay" you cooed, taking him into your arms. "i promise, i promise anything you want" 

theo didn't leave much room for questions when he told you to get off the hogwarts grounds and apparate home to your parents a few minutes later. you were scared and confused, as you watched the fear in his eyes flame up at whatever was coming. there was something he was not telling you and it simply broke your heart, knowing that he had to go through it alone. 

you weren't sure what took over you, when you heard a familar laugh, one that was so earth shattering and haunting, you couldn't help but dash back into the castle, despite what you had promised your boyfriend, his name repeating over and over again in your mind. 

you took two stairs at once, sprinting up the tower, wand in hand and ready to jump to theo's defense. 

"you made mummy so proud, boys" bellatrix said and you wanted to throw up at the tone in her voice. you could just imagine enzo and mattheo, or what was left of them, looking at their mother, not one bit of love or familiarity on their face. just fear. 

before you could climb the rest of the stairs, a hand grabbed you, pulling you to the side, behind old school supplies. the persons other hand was pressed onto your mouth and your eyes grew big until you noticed harry, stoic expression, not amused at seeing you. 

"harry" you muttered relieved. 

"what are you doing here?" harry whispered, not caring for the fear in your voice or the intent you had had coming up here in the first place. 

before you could answer, bellatrix spoke once again. 

"your boy has surely made you proud too, nott" she giggled. "just like our draco will make his parents in just a few minutes"

your eyes went up to the floor above you like your own name had been called. it wasn't even theo she had called by the name and still you could just imagine his slumped down shoulders and sickly expression. the same he had been spotting these past few days.

harry watched you closely, as if to make sure you would keep quiet, before his eyes turned back up too. 

“do it” bellaxtrix hissed at draco, who had raised his wand at dumbledore.

harry and you exchanged glances, before he too, raised his wand. you gripped on his arms tightly, shaking your head at him. 

“we can’t” you mouthed. 

“dumbledore” harry whispered. you shook your head again, tears spilling over your cheeks. 

your eyes left harry and wandered back through the floorboards. you couldn’t see theo, enzo, and mattheo, but draco was clearly shaking in fear and you couldn’t help but be worried about him. 

“draco” bellaxtrix encouraged once more “do it!”

“he’s not brave enough, bellatrix” notts voice rang out sounding as triumphantly as possible. you heard movement on the floor, a pair of dark shoes stepping forward and you wondered what nott was planning to do, when your heart suddenly stopped beating. 

“avada kedavra” a voice muttered, wand raised and aimed at dumbledore, who fell backwards so slowly as if time had stopped.  

harry gripped your arm, your body still frozen, as your eyes stayed focused on notts shoes. theodore notts shoes. not his father. theo, your theo. 

theo had just killed dumbledore. 

one part of you wanted to scream, jump into the open and scream at him or bellatrix or all the people a few steps above you, but the other part, the unstoppable dread, was aching to hide away from all of it, to just go and never come back.

how could you ever look at him again after what you had just witnessed? would he still be the same after he had done something like this? you couldn’t. he wouldn’t. your heart ripped open. 

“y/n” harry whispered, pushing you back to hide the both of you behind some old astronomy maps. footsteps descended down the stairs and out of the tower and you felt like you could breathe again once he had left. 

you sank to your knees immediately. harry still watched the space around you, not sure if you were entirely safe yet. 

someone ran up the stairs. harry tried grabbing you to push you back behind the old things, to shield you from whoever was coming back and trying to finish the job. 

it was snape and harry felt relieved for the first time upon seeing the teacher. he didn’t fully trust him, but dumbledore did. also, snape was a far better option than any of the death eaters. 

snapes eyes jumped between harry and you on the ground, before they turned to look up the stairs. 

“they’re gone” harry said, voice raised to drown out your sobbing, before he bent down once more and helped you back onto your feet. he pulled you close, to bring you comfort and shield your tear spilled face from snape's penetrating gaze.

harry wasn’t sure if he imagined it, but he could almost see a bit of pity in snape’s eyes, when the man watched you stand on your shivering legs, only held up by harry, as if your body was too heavy to stand on it’s own.

it was just suddenly that the meaning of snape's presence painted a clear picture in your mind. narcissa malfoy hadn't found a solution, no she had found something that was even better: a substitute, someone to step in, when draco would ultimately fail upon the task he had been given.

and tiberius nott had done the same, only that he had proudly sold out his son instead of sparing his life.

you threw off harry’s arms, walking across the room, step by step, until you were standing in front of the teacher, ready to bash his head in.

“you are too late” you cried, not caring if spit or tears or anything else fell onto his robes. you stabbed a finger to his chest. “it’s your job to help. why didn’t you help him?” you cried.

snape furrowed his brows in confusion. “draco?” he asked in his normal tone, but a little bit of surprise broke through. just like you had thought. not even snape had held draco for capable of fulfilling his task.

you shook your head. slowly, bitterly. It was unfair that you had to say his name, that you had to recapture the event like a missed quidditch game, that snape had been late enough to miss it, but perfectly on time to watch your life fall apart.

you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. couldn’t even mutter the name that had been the most beautiful thing to you these past years, there was nothing left. no meaning behind those letters and still you couldn’t do it. “nott” you said. 

it was over. 

“nott?” snape repeated, as if he was daring you to finally say what you had been dreading. 

“junior” harry muttered. you turned your head at him and he looked down on his shoes, as if he was ashamed you had heard him. 

“surprisingly unexpected” snape noted, like you had been discussing the weather.

“what?” you muttered, your voice strained. 

“y/n” harry said softly and you could hear him coming closer. you broke apart from snape, slapping his hand away when he tried reaching for your arm in an unusual caring manner. 

“you failed him” you spit at him, before you stormed out of the tower, harry hot on your heels.

bellaxtrix and the rest of the deatheaters, were jumping down the grass path to hagrids hut. following behind them were draco, enzo, mattheo and finally theo, who stepped out of the castle as last.

they had probably strolled through the halls, bringing their inevitable destruction into the home you had grown to love and cherish.

harry and you had watched them from the side of the entryway, dried tears on your cheeks and the anger taking over the pain that had tightened your chest. you loved him, but you couldn't believe that he had had no choice.

killing someone was not debatable.

you had watched in susprise when theo had not been there with them, but your surprise had been quickly taken over by even more anger, when he finally strolled through the door, hands in his pockets, like he was talking a late evening stroll.

your hand wept forward without so much as a thought, gripping the material of his tie and yanking him back.

theo made a gurgling sound, briefly breathless, and it was only his surprise that allowed you to measure up enough strength to effectively pull him back. that and your anger.

harry helped you as he pushed theo against the wall, wand at his throat.

theo took a big breath as soon as you let go of his tie, his eyes widened in surprise as he completely ignored harry and only looked at you, your face cast with shadows of the darkness in the creeping night and the regret that was so evident it only pained him further.

"didn't i tell you to go home?" it didn't surprise you that there was still a hint of superiority in his voice, even if it had faltered tremendously.

"you knew about all of it, didn't you?" you asked instead.

"y/n" theo sighed, in a tone as if he was inspecting a failed task for a homework you hadn't been able to finish. "i can explain"

"i don't think you should" you muttered and you were doing your best to not let the look of helplessness that now entered his face break your heart any further. "i just think i speak for the both of us, when i say that it's over"

"y/n" theo pleaded, pushing against harry's hold to try and reach for you. you stepped back and harry pushed the tip of his wand deeper into theo's neck.

you shook your head, not having it in you to look at him, before you turned around. "do what you have to do" you left the two of them alone, knowing that harry was just waiting to punish theo for killing one of the most important people to him.

you couldn't muster up the courage to even care about what would happen to him. your anger at snape had evaporated as fast as it had come. theo had it in him to kill and snape's late arrival changed nothing about that.

the person you had loved died together with the headmaster.

everything had been lost the moment he had muttered the curse, leaving behind a hurricane of feelings in your heart, but no one left to love in this world.

you did not waste another thought for him, pushing his name so far away from your mind, you almost forgot about him completely.

but a three-year relationship wasn't just consisting of memories, but of habits too and you found yourself thinking about possibilities in the dead of night.

possibilities that you had thought to be endless before, but of which was only one left now.

what if theo hadn't killed dumbledore?

your friends were clearly worried about you. hermione and ginny never left you alone during your stay in the burrow or during the nights, which had to have been the most haunting. the time were you most experienced his loss, as nightmares were plaguing your mind and fear was taking over your senses, feeling like you had made a mistake with theo. even if your friends and the weasleys said something different.

it was the same restlessness that lead to you following hermione, ron and harry on an adventure that was trying to fulfill an impossible task.

but there was no hope left if you didn't at least try what had been asked of you and you were smart enough to realize that.

even though you were always together, the time you were on the road seemed to be the most lonely you had ever felt and you found yourself thinking more about theo than you had wanted to.

none of your friends dared to say anything to you the next morning, when you would call out his name in your dream, always asking yourself what had happened, and if he was even still alive.

your question was answered in a different way than you had liked, when your group was discovered by deatheaters and brought back to malfoy manor, where not only draco and the malfoys, but theo was staying too.

you hadn't seen him at first, down in the dungeon. but surely they had come to get hermione, bringing her back a few hours later, scarred and crying for mercy as she fell into ron's arms.

it took another hour to call for the other female friend of harry potter.

"the other?" you could draco's voice ask when you were dragged up the stairs and through the halls.

"what other?" it was theo's voice that was now speaking, fear and dread overweighing the curiosity.

the door flew open and five people turned around to gain a look at you.

narcissa and lucius malfoy were sitting in obnoxious chairs, spotting similiar looks of surprise and interest.

bellatrix was hanging over the back of narcissa's chair. her hands pressing down on her younger sister's shoulders, squeezing them as if she was excited.

narcissa suddenly seemed less content, as she heard the similar gasps coming from her sons and nephew's mouths.

draco and theo were staring at you wide-eyed. their faces pale and painfully twisted as they recalled what had happened with harry potter's other friend just hours before.

"oh" bellatrix quirked up when the unknown death eater threw you to the floor and theo and draco dashed forward at the same time to try and catch you, before they were held back by the black haired witch. "do you happen to know her?"

your eyes were fixated on the doors behind you, which fell close with a loud thud as the deatheater who had brought you disappeared.

"no" draco and theo mustered up to stutter at the same time.

you send a glare across the room. it meant nothing, those two were only shells of the boys you had once known. but the innocence had been drained from them like a well run dry in a relentless drought.

"what are we going to do with you?" bellatrix smiled, stepping away from the chair and walking around your body on the floor.

narcissa reached for theo's arm, when he was about to drag bellatrix away from you.

you averted your eyes. not giving her the satisfaction to see the fear in them.

bellatrix looked through your act immediately. "she's a tough one" she noted and her expression of admiration changed to a malicious grin as she saw theo close his eyes.

"you do it" she laughed excitedly, stepping forward and pulling theo into the middle of the room.

"bellatrix, please" narcissa said, not even bothering to stand up and stop her sister from her attempt.

"what, cissy?" bellatrix asked. "you don't think she should be punished for stealing?"

"stealing what?" your voice made bellatrix turn around dramatically.

"would you look at that!" she gushed "the girl can speak!"

"yes" you nodded "and the girl can even tell you that she stole nothing"

"lie" bellatrix giggled and you had to admire her persistence, while the playful tone in her voice kept you on edge, always waiting for the moment she would break into an insanely loud scream.

you had heard not only hermione's cries, but bellatrix' screams from the dungeon. that gave a measure to how loud she was able to scream. and how she could torture until there was nothing left of the person you had once been.

"atta boy!" bellatrix encouraged theo, as she pushed him closer, until he was standing just a few feet from your body.

you wouldn't beg for their mercy. you would die without feigning any regret. if bellatrix really thought you stole something from her, you were glad she was torturing you instead of harry, who was much more important for everything coming after.

you could afford to die so early into the war. you were of no importance for the safety of the wizarding world.

you looked up at theo. the blue of his eyes mixed together with the tears that were already spilling over the edges.

"it shouldn't be hard" you said, voice hoarse and strained. you had been apart for almost ten months and he was still creating a lump in your throat, he was standing for everything that had been lost.

theo exchanged a glance with draco, almost as if begging him to take his place.

"bellatrix, this is madness" narcissa said, a bit stricter now, as if her simple words could really change the mind of someone who had already decided to embrace the madness her sould had been corrupted by.

"oh, cissy" bellatrix giggled "how will he learn? just another step on the path he must take to be granted the honour of the dark lord"

"do it" you said to theo, ignoring what bellatrix was babbling about.

"i can't—“ theo looked back at narcissa, talking to her rather than you.

"do it!" you repeated, louder this time.

"she even wants him to" bellatrix noted, clear amusement in her voice. she was almost excited to find out more about the conflict between you and her nephew.

"she's a pureblooded witch" theo turned to bellatrix, now trying to convince her himself. "she's one of us"

"i'm not" you protested, but bellatrix ignored you, stepping forward and touching theo's cheek softly with the pocket knife that she had taken from her robes, dripping in blood. hermione's blood probably.

"i thought you didn't know her" bellatrix mused "but the knowledge about her blood status suggests otherwise" theo gulped and before he was ready to say something, bellatrix has dragged the weapon across his cheek with one quick gesture, leaving a bleeding cut.

theo looked down quickly, as if to hide his injury from you, but he hadn't missed the gasp of air you had taken, scared that the woman had planned to kill him.

bellatrix stepped back next to her sister. "go on boy, don't make auntie bella angry" she threatened, playing with the knife in her hand.

not even narcissa dared to say something.

"just kill me" you told theo, when he raised his eyes to look at you once more, wand still losely hanging to the side. "you know how to"

"y/n" theo muttered, just loud enough for you to hear.

"it doesn't matter" you shook your head. "just do it" you closed your eyes, ready for the stream of the green curse to take over your body and future.

theo did not raise his wand.

"kill me" you said loudly, unforgiving, almost screaming. you opened your eyes to look at your tormentors. apart from bellatrix none of them looked like they were particularly enjoying what was happening.

bellatrix’s eyes gleamed with a twisted satisfaction as if she was savoring the power she held over theo. narcissa’s face was a portrait of conflicted emotions, torn between her loyalty to her sister and her love for her son and nephew. lucius’s gaze darted nervously between the scene unfolding before him, as if hoping for some resolution to the madness. draco was crying and trying to swallow the breaths that were tempting him to throw up right on his aunt's feet.

and theo? theo was rather keen on killing himself than doing you any harm.

you were less forgiving. "kill me like you killed dumbledore!" you screamed, tears falling on the floor in front of you, as your voice echoed off the cold stone walls. the anger in your voice was raw, pure, and unfiltered. theo flinched at the words, his face paling further, if that was even possible. the weight of your demand seemed to crush him, making it even harder for him to act.

you were so indescribably angry. but not at what he had done to you, but rather what he had done to himself. and that in it alone was the reason you would never forgive him.

he had ruined what you had loved. he had killed the person you had loved the most and you had nothing left to care about what would happen to you.

maybe it was his punishment that he had to be the one to kill or torture you.

theo’s grip on his wand faltered as he looked at you with a mixture of horror and heartbreak. he seemed to be struggling not just with what he was being asked to do, but with the shattered remnants of the person he used to be.

bellatrix’s patience wore thin, her frustration evident as she waved her wand dismissively. “enough of this pathetic display,” she sneered, her voice dripping with venom. “the boy is clearly too weak for this task.”

“no!” theo shouted, his voice cracking. “i can’t— i won’t—” his wand dropped to the floor, clattering against the stone with a finality that seemed to reverberate through the room.

the room erupted into chaos as bellatrix’s fury reached its peak. she turned on theo with a rage that was almost as palpable as your own pain. narcissa tried to intervene, her voice pleading, but it was clear that the darkness had already taken hold.

but before she was able to mutter a curse, to torture or kill theo right in front of your eyes, harry, ron and hermione came running in the room, wands raised they started firing spells.

it took you a moment longer to get up. you and theo held eye contact, the boy just a crumpled mess on the floor in front of you. you reached out your hand and took his wand, disarming bellatrix, who began screaming.

the fight was short and unforgiving as the malfoys were throwing spells. draco was struggling to keep up with harry's quick movements and theo did not even make an attempt to stand up. instead he kept his eyes trained on you.

dobby appeared suddenly, calling you to him to bring you to safety, after he had let a chandelier fall onto bellatrix who had held a knife to hermione's throat.

you stepped forward once more, kneeling in front of theo, who looked up at you with curiosity, just hoping you would be taking him with you.

"i will never forgive you" you muttered instead and all hope left his face and heart. you healed the cut on his cheek with a move of his own wand. "you should've killed me and maybe i could've been able to"

you did not look back again as you ran across the room to your friends. you just left him there, on the ground in malfoy manor, as you took dobby's hand and followed your friends into the uncertain.

one heart shattering realisation left with you that day.

theo was watching you as he always did as you sat at the avenclaw table, chattering with your friends.

his friends were used to that weird habit of his, it seemed like wherever you went, theo was close to watch over you.

"what is it with you and that girl?" mattheo's voice made theo raise his head.

"y/n?" theo asked surprised.

"of course, y/n" blaise rolled his eyes next to him. "what other girl could he possibly mean? all you ever do is stare at her"

"we're friends" theo shrugged. it was true. you guys weren't the best friends in the world but would occasionally meet up on the astronomy tower since you had run into each other there in third year. theo had recognized the book under your arm and you had spend and hour sitting and talking about it.

you often came there now to exchange books and read in silence or talk about them after you had finished them.

"yeah, looks like it" draco said sarcastically as he watched theo's eyes glide back to your form.

"just admit you're in love with her and they'll stop bugging you" pansy nudged the tall boy next to her and theo just shrugged.

"i don't know"

"you don't know, what?" draco asked with a raised brow "you don't know if you're in love with her?"

theo nodded his head and his friends sighed simultaneously.

"how can you not know that?" enzo spoke for the first time "have you never been in love?"

"just because you fall in love with every girl you see, doesn't mean we all do" mattheo joked and enzo frowned at him.

"i'm just not sure, okay?" theo said defensively, without taking his eyes off of you "and even if.. it would never work"

without theo noticing, pansy smiled at him, as he watched his eyes light up as you noticed his eyes and raised your hand, waving at him. "how do you feel around her?" pansy asked softly.

"warm" theo simply said, before he continued "when she looks at me, it feels like the sun glazing my skin during the summer. and when she laughs it sounds like the wind moving the trees. i have the need to keep her safe all the time, even though i know that nothing will happen to her here"

"i think you have your answer, mate" blaise said and theo had never noticed him sounding so sincere and serious. he looked between his friends. they all spotted a similar expression, atleast until his eyes fell on pansy, who looked like she was about to cry.

"that was beautiful" she muttered, while she snuffled her nose "why don't you ever say things like that about me, draco?"

draco's eyes widened in surprise, before his face spotted an expression similar to betrayal, as he turned his head to look at theo. "thanks, mate, for raising the bar to the sky"

pansy slapped his arm and draco's eyes were back on her again, just like theo had already turned his head back at you, not even hearing a word of what draco had said.

you threw your head back, laughing at something the girl next to you had said, before you turned your head and raised your eyebrows in surprise as an unfamiliar owl landed on the table in front of you.

theo raised his eyebrows too. he watched as you ripped open the letter and your eyes scanned the paper. he could not read the expression on your face and was wondering what you were thinking, when you quickly muttered something to the girl next to you and stood up, rushing out of the hall.

"was she crying?" blaise asked surprised and theo quickly remembered seeing a few tears slipping over your cheeks.

and then he knew what letter you had just gotten.

"a ministry owl" he said for his friends to hear. he didn't have to further explain. they all knew what that meant

"oh" pansy said and all color vanished from her face. "do you think..?" she left the question unfinished and theo just nodded.

"where do you think she'll go?"

"i know where" theo muttered "but i'm not sure that i should be the one to comfort her now"

"what? why not?" mattheo shrugged "you clearly love her"

theo looked up from the table and his friends noticed the hint of tears in his eyes "what if it was my father? i can't possibly try to comfort her, when i'm one of them, can i?"

"you're not one of them" pansy shook her head "you're not you're father, none of us are our parents"

"that doesn't matter. there's a war brewing and when it comes down to it, i'm on the wrong side"

"you're still her friend" draco argued.

"draco is right and that you're conflicted on all this shows how much you care enough to not let your beliefs come between you two" pansy said.

"go" enzo nodded.

theo stood up from the table and walked out of the hall in a quick step. he took two steps at once when he walked up the astronomy tower. just like he expected you were already there.

you were staring down to the grounds of hogwarts, while quite tears ran over your cheeks. they were reddened just like your eyes and despite it all, theo thought that you were incredibly beautiful.

you turned around when one of the floorboards made a sound when he stepped closer, but quickly relaxed once you noticed it was him.

"hey" theo muttered, before he sat down beside you. "is it alright if i sit with you?"

"you already are" you shrugged, but there was no malicious intent in your voice and theo relaxed.

you sighed, before you pushed the letter from the ministry in the taller boys direction. theo's eyes scanned the words on the page.

"they burned our whole house down" theo looked up from the paper when you started speaking. "they didn't find my parents once the aurors arrived. they're not sure if they could flee, or if the death eaters took them"

"i'm sorry" theo muttered, while he folded the paper. "i hope they're alright. i wish i could do something"

"you've come here" you said softly, before you moved closer to him and put your head an his shoulder. theo reluctantly raised his arm and then gently rested his hand on your shoulder, pulling you closer.

"do they know who did it?"

"mmh?"

"do they know which death eaters—“ you sat up suddenly and theo fell silent.

you frowned at him, scrunching your eyebrows together as you thought about what he was implying with that. you were not stupid, you knew that many of your classmates parent's were involved with the wrong people.

theo just stared at you blankly, while you did the same. neither of you said a word, before he tried to look away.

"what are you talking about?" you asked, bringing his attention back to you.

"nothing, i just--"

you could read the sadness and regret in his eyes. he looked like he was personally at fault for whatever had happened to your home and family.

"you think your father could have done it"

his eyes widened when he heard the anger in your voice. he watched as you stood up from the floor and walked to the middle of the tower.

"y/n" theo muttered, as he rose to his feet and followed you. he was interpreting your anger in the wrong way. "i'm sorry, i know that i--"

"that you what?" you said angrily as your turned around to look at him. "this is not your fault, theo. you don't get to think or say it is"

theo raised his eyebrows as he realized what you were really angry about. you weren't angry that both of your lifes had been dedicated to opposing sides through the acting of your parents. no, you were angry that he thought he was somehow to blame for something that had been decided before he was born.

"i don't know what i can do, y/n" theo said helplessly "i want to comfort you, but how could i when there's a chance that i'm a part of what caused your hurt" "you're not part of any hurt, theo" you shook your head "what's happening out there has nothing to do with you and me"

"but what if it has?" theo gulped and tears shimmered in his eyes "what if the war comes and we have to kill each other"

"i won't let it come to that"

"how can you know?"

"i don't know anything, i just know that right now, all i want is for you to hold me"

theo looked at you for a few seconds and you weren't sure if he would just turn around and walk away, but he softly nodded his head, before he opened his arms, so that you could step inside.

after a few minutes, you softly stepped back and took his face in both of your hands.

"i don't know what's going to happen to us, theo" you whispered as theo watched you closely. he felt the warmth of your hands on his cheeks and your touch felt so familiar that he wasn't sure if he could ever live without it. "all i know is that we will not become the victims of our parents decisions"

debut album: neon nights -> real songs

blood//water (grandson)

daddy issues (the neighbourhood)

you get me so high (the neighbourhood)

fluroscent adolescence (arctic monkeys)

only angel (harry styles)

second album: soft death -> real songs

jackie and wilson (hozier)

about you (the 1975)

i wanna be yours (arctic monkeys)

she (harry styles)

obviously (mcfly)

too sweet (hozier)

end of beginning (joe keery)

made up songs:

neon nights

in the haze of neon nights,/ we were fearless in our flights,/ chasing dreams under starry skies,/ laughing 'til tears filled our eyes.

but time slipped away too fast,/ those moments we thought would last,/ now i'm left here all alone,/ where did our innocence go?

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

remember those careless hours,/ building castles from shattered flowers,/ promised you a better fate, now i've noticed it's too late

but time slipped away too fast,/ those moments we thought would last,/ now i'm left here all alone,/ where did our innocence go?

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

in crowded rooms, i search for your face,/ but it's just an empty space,/ echoes of laughter haunt my mind,/ leaving fragments of us behind.

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

neon lights fade into gray,/ silent reminders of yesterday,/ i miss you more than words can show,/ in these neon nights, where did you go?

lying to your face

she’s got those sailor moon eyes,/ never been the type of girl to take home to your mother./ she’s got those meteorite vibes,/ put it in park we can go get high on each other.

they don’t make ‘em like you anymore,/ they don’t make ‘em like you anymore.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

we could hide from the truth,/ escape from the lies and the drama./ lost in our youth,/ your body is my panorama.

they don’t make ‘em like you anymore,/ they don’t make ‘em like you anymore.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

oh, honey, you’re my secret sin,/ with every touch, i lose again.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

cheap wine

we used to own the night,/ every whisper, every sigh,/ the way you looked at me,/ like we were meant to be,

now i see you in the crowd,/ his hand pulling you around,/ it's like a ghost of what we had,/ now he has you instead

i can't help but wonder why,/ we let our love just pass us by,/ now you’re living in a different time,/ but I’m stuck on replay in my mind.

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

every time i hear your name,/ it’s like a flicker of the flame,/ i see your smile in my dreams,/ haunting me with what it means,

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

every memory, every touch, / a love that once was, now it’s just too much,/ to see you move on, while i stay behind,/ clinging to the remnants of our time./ but i’ll raise a glass to what we had,/ and let it go, though it hurts so bad,/ in every tear, in every sigh, i’ll find a way to say goodbye.

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

eight packs of cigarettes

in the glow of street lights,/ underneath the city's haze,/ you found me in the darkest nights,/ lost in a nicotine haze.

eight packs of cigarettes,/ burned through these lonely nights,/ trying to drown out regrets,/ but you're still in my head.

as the night moves past/ i'm the only one last/ tell me that you lied/ no, tell me that you're mine

eight packs of cigarettes,/ burned through these lonely nights,/ trying to drown out regrets,/ but you're still in my head.

in the haze of smoke and dreams,/ i'll keep searching for some reprieve,/ but until then, I'll keep the smoke,/ eight packs of cigarettes full of hope.

hot-headed

you walk in like a hurricane, eyes sharp like a blade,/ a tempest in your heart, every move is a raid,/ your words cut deep, leaving scars in their wake,/ a rebel without a cause, a risk i had to take.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

you're a wild card, a mystery wrapped in smoke,/ with a devilish grin, and a laugh that provokes,/ we clash like thunder, yet i can't stay away,/ caught in your storm, i'm lost in the fray.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

in the heat of our battles, we find our peace,/ in the eye of the storm, our hearts never cease,/ you're my sweet disaster, my beautiful curse,/ in this wild romance, we’ll always immerse.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

pixie dream girl

she's an average girl, with tangled up hair,/ her laughter's like nails on a chalkboard, it's more than i can bear./ she flutters around, like a clumsy old crow,/ leaving chaos behind her, wherever she goes.

she's a mess wrapped in chaos,/ a thorn in my side, no matter the cost./ she'll stumble and fall, then blame it on me,/ i'm tired of her games, can't you see?

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

she's a pixie dream girl, with a crooked old smile,/ her clothes mismatched, it's just not my style./ she talks too loud, and she never shuts up,/ i'm counting the seconds 'til i've had enough.

she's a nuisance, a pest,/ always around, never giving me rest./ she'll chatter and ramble, driving me mad,/ i'm losing my patience, it's really too bad.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song, In nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long, She's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl, Oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's my pixie dream girl.

soft death (in your arms)

your touch, like fire, ignites my skin/ we’re caught in the heat, where it all begins/ velvet kisses, burning bright,/ in your arms, i come alive tonight.

electric pulses, bodies close,/ in your eyes, a passion grows,/ dangerous, but i want more,/ in your arms, i’m begging for.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

your lips, a drug, i need the taste,/ losing control, there's no time to waste,/ aching love, a sweet embrace,/ lost in rhythm, we find our pace.

electric pulses, bodies close,/ in your eyes, a passion grows,/ dangerous, but i want more,/ in your arms, i’m begging for.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

the moonlight dances on your face,/ every touch, a sweet embrace,/ in this moment, we are one,/ desire rising with the sun.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

the day before tomorrow

don't rush into the unknown,/ tomorrow's not yet shown,/ take a breath, slow it down,/ in this moment, we have found.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

sunset paints the sky in gold,/ memories to cherish, to hold,/ stars whisper secrets of the night,/ in this dusk, let's ignite.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

time's river runs so fast,/ but we'll make this moment last,/ no regrets, no great sorrow,/ just today, no tomorrow.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

the sweetest night

in the quiet of the night,/ underneath the stars so bright,/ close your eyes, my precious one,/ the day is done, the night has come.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

moonlight paints your peaceful face,/ in the cradle of my embrace,/ whispers soft, like melodies,/ carry you to far-off seas.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

stars above will guide your way,/ until the dawn brings a new day,/ sleep in peace, my heart's delight,/ in this sweetest night, so calm, so bright.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

echoes of devotion

my love, like orpheus, i'd come,/ to tread through shadows, my body numb,/ but truth be told, in my hearts embrace,/ i fear i'd falter, lose the race.

for i'd turn back, just like him,/ my gaze would brake, our future grim,/ your fading form, in shadows deep,/ my love, too strong, my soul to keep.

like orpheus, with his lyre's song,/ i'd sing to you, all night long,/ but in that moment, with fate's cruel twist,/ i'd choose your eyes, and lose what's missed.

for i'd turn back just like him,/ the current stronger than we swim,/ i'd face the darkness, lose my way,/ for one more look, i'd gladly pay.

for you're the melody that guides my soul,/ through tempests wild and rivers cold,/ i'll brave the depths, defy the night,/ to hold your hand in morning light.

so here i stand, before your eyes,/ with trembling heart, and no disguise,/ to say, my love, in honesty,/ i'd turn for your like orpheus for eurydice.

A/N: what’s your favorite song/ line? my fav is definitely neon nights, because theo wrote it about leo :(