why did you have to change so much? why did you have to go and get into bad stuff that is destroying yourself? why? did you forget that you have 4 kids who need you? did you forget that those 4 kids just want to have a normal mother? did you forget that those 4 kids were your entire world and you did anything and everything for them? why? was it worth it? are the pills worth it? are the drugs worth it? going in and out of jail worth it? staying in trouble worth it? all I want to know is what the hell made you go and do all these things. you were such a beautiful person, a loving great mother, a great sister and always helped me. I can barely look you in the face anymore, I take care of your oldest daughter while the family takes care of the youngest ones. I do anything and everything for them that I can. I do what YOU are supposed to be doing and I'm not the one who gave birth to these kids. I've given up certain things just to have my niece live with me and I don't regret it at all because I know she's doing better. I just have so much emotions and so many feelings about this that I just can't even type it all.