#themeatlands

Adventurers, the Plate is broken! Welcome to Calorum, the continent where everything—the land, the water, and every single inhabitant—is made entirely of food. This is no fairy tale; this is the Age of the Bitter Remnant, a world shattered by war and facing a terrifying, inescapable threat: Accelerated Spoilage. Your character is a piece of food fighting political betrayal and spiritual decay.

Forget your elves and dwarves—it’s time to play a Rogue made of ripened Fructeran grape or a Paladin dedicated to the purity of the Bulb.

🗺️ Chapter 1: The Shattered Plate

Calorum is a massive continent built entirely from foodstuff: you travel on bread-crust roads, sail on the Chili Sea (where the water burns with spice), and avoid the toxic, frozen wastes of The Freezer. Our central crisis is the horrific Sugar Scar, a magically irradiated crater that cleaves the land, constantly buzzing with unstable arcane energy.

👑 Chapter 2: The Age of the Bitter Remnant

Twenty years ago, a catastrophic conflict—The Calamity—destroyed the central Concord and created the Scar. Now, power is held by warring factions in a high-stakes cold war:

The Bulbian-Proxy Axis: Led by Vegetania's theocratic Bulbian Church and their client state, Ceresia. They preach purity and seek to wipe out all "unholy arcana."

The Salty-Sweet Compact: A powerful alliance between the new Candian Monarchy (led by Milk Chocolate Monarch Milco Le Roc) and the Dairy Islands (merchants, port owners, and notorious pirates). They seek to control the volatile magic of the Scar for profit and power.

The Meat Lands: An isolationist nation driven by fear of the Scar's contamination, sealing their borders and relying on primal strength.

🙏 Chapter 3: Faith and Philosophy

The war is spiritual as much as it is political, driven by three dominant, conflicting faiths:

Bulbian Doctrine: A strict, ascetic faith focused on Purity and Preservation. They view the Sugar Scar as divine proof that sugar is the root of all chaos. Followers of the Bulb perform daily preservation rituals like brining and waxing their bodies to fight decay.

The Sweetening Path (Candia): A vibrant, decadent, and expressive faith. They believe concentrated sweetness is crystallized joy and that magic is meant to be cultivated for pleasure and defiance. They worship the Sugar-Plum Pantheon and view the Bulbians' asceticism as a denial of life.

Primal Ancestry (The Meat Lands): The faith of the Beastlords (Great Cow, Great Boar, Great Hen) focused solely on Survival through Sacrifice. They view all southern politics as soft and doomed, relying on physical endurance and the sacred ritual of curing meat to resist the inevitable rot.

🎲 What’s Next?

We're currently developing the custom 5e content, including 15 new Subclasses (like the Path of the Great Beasts Barbarian), Custom Spells (Tallow Slime, Candied Grip), and the Calorum Monster Codex (Bulb Creeps, Bacon Wyverns).