#thelightsking

Oh I heard it was a bug and I think they’re supposed to be fixing that soon? It was unintentional

17. Are they more shaped by nature or nurture — who they are, or what has happened to them? How have these shaped who they’ve become as a person?

the most influential people in his life (and yes, that includes al’ara ‘bad mom’ embereye) have been people dedicated above all else to protecting others. those people’s mileages varied—ithaen was so absorbed in his work as a healer, genuinely good work, that his family felt his absence all through raein’s childhood; al’ara’s protectiveness of raein was so suffocating it irreparably ruined their entire relationship; julieta defended and stood up for raein’s autonomy and personhood so surely she fractured concrete walls’ worth of conditioning—but it’s been a lesson and an ideal he’s known his entire life.

it quickly becomes no surprise that he’s dedicated his whole self to the same ideal. he’s been protecting his friends since he was small, the sometimes overly cautious voice to their adventurous ones; he fell so very in love with working as a medic and cultivating those skills over the years. he wants to help, he wants people to be safe and happy and alive. if he can have even the slightest influence in making that possible, he’ll stop at nothing to make sure he doesn’t squander the opportunity.

the people in his life, whether or not they themselves were good at it, taught him it was the most important thing. he’s found it to be true so far.

28. What are they likely to do if they have the opportunity, resources, and time to accomplish it? Why?

well, as of legion, find his mother. lmao. the blood knights have provided him with the means to get to and traverse the broken isles, and in exchange they want him to help them find al’ara so she can be confronted and likely ‘charged’ for her crimes in some way. (he knows this most likely means, given their anger and her way, killing her.) he’s agreed, but he’s also never been very loyal to the order—he fully intends to keep as much information from them as he can just so he can talk to her first before he’s forced to surrender her to silvermoon.

he’s also juuuuuust beginning the long process of realizing there’s more to medicine and his future and the marriage of the two than he’s considered. so eventually, and given the means, he’ll throw himself into medical school for a kajillion years and be VERY happy about it!

39. What sort of questions or thoughts recur in their lives, either specifically or as a theme? Why are these never answered, or answered permanently to their satisfaction?

REPENTANCE. the third war marked the beginning of an era of raein making a lot of very ugly mistakes, ending with a laundry list of not-unjustified reasons to feel guilty and like there might be some amends to make. as far as he’s come, he hasn’t yet at all escaped the inherent feeling of being untrustworthy, of being a deserter and liar and coward, and it doesn’t help that he continues to make these mistakes even after his coming back to the light, in things like being repeatedly disloyal to the blood knight order, or lying to his lover to the point that relihn watched him all but kill himself.

he WANTS to do good, and he WANTS to be worth the love and happiness people have given him, but he watches himself throw it away or take it for granted time and time again and he finds himself having to wonder, again and again, if he can ever overcome that seemingly inherent darkness. his eyes are scarred with his magic addiction, his relationships have experienced undeserved turbulence that has, on more than one occasion, threatened to shatter them outright—he’s sorry but he just can’t seem to act the part.