#theholidaydevil

I’m not complaining. Fuck the snow. Soon all of the humans will die and we’ll take over on the new fire planet.

"Your gift, kiddo."

As Metatron speaks he materializes a package in his hand, and Raziel and Sndalphon appear beside him.

"Your uncle sorta liiiiiiiiied to you," Raziel smiles at Metatron shoots him A Look.  "You don't get just one present today."

"We each brought something!" Says Sandalphon, hefting a little package.

Raziel steps forward first, holding a small box that could fit in the palm of Krampus's hand.  Opening it reveals a necklace, silver chained and set with a shimmering blue-and-gold stone.

"A veeeery USEFUL charm," Raziel croons.  "Confeeeers.... invisibility at your desiiiiiire.  But not just garden variety invisibility.  It even  h i d e s  you from.... angels."  He tilts his head and grins.  "Not from me, though.  Nothing can hiiiiiide from me.  Have  f u n  with it~"

Metatron comes forward next with a bigger gift, which is clearly a book even before Krampus unwraps it.  It's bound with black leather and emblazoned with a simple form of Solomon's Seal.

"This might be useful in your dealings with some of your father's associates," Metatron says.  "Write a demon's name in this book and the pages will change to give you a detailed dossier.  The information is constantly updated.  Keep it somewhere safe."

Finally Sandalphon steps forward, smiling like moonlight, and gives Krampus his final gift.

"I got you cheesecake," she says, "Made it myself.  I think you'll find it up to your standards.  Oh, and a magic knife to cut it with.  Simple little thing, it'll cut anything but you."

"I wondered which of those things you'd open with," Metatron says, smiling wryly.

“Okay but can you take me to space?”

Horrific Headcanons