Finite —
We have built this life together over a decade. I have watched your wrinkles grow, slowly, but surely. I have watched your physique change and your soul enlarge.
I have waited a very long time for you. It had been centuries since my heart had felt the way you made it feel my love. I’ve had to heal from disappointment after disappointment. I’ve loved through wars and plagues against my own better judgment.
I’ve made a big mistake now. The sound of your heart against mine is a drug. The way the rhythm picks up as you enter me during intimacy, the way I hear every whimper and sigh from your body. The way I hunger for you and I must control myself because you don’t know.
What a treat.
A forbidden treat I have held onto for far too long. Here, I am loving through another plague, another war, another era of social unrest. I let myself drown in a decade of my desires. How selfish of me. I thought by this age I’d know better, but I am nothing but a wounded being finally finding my place. Still human. Never changes.
What will you do when I tell you? What will you say to me? How will you look at me? Will you look at me at all?
As I stand in this kitchen, watching you make your sandwich, I hold back tears. I can’t deny anymore that I am a selfish being. How selfish am I? Am I selfish enough to take your life away from you?
Starting the “Finite” series.
