Bella’s Body

I have a book:

“Where Do We Go From Here?”

After finding a love that is worth sticking by, quitting a job that constantly gave me burn out, and going through trials & tribulations with my self discipline and finances..

Here I am.

What is after this? Those who are in a similar spot, what is next? How high will I go from here? How quick will I rise? How quick will we rise?

Spoken word poems and some extra words for you all at the end. Thank you for supporting in advance.

If you are a Substack user I am on there also.

It’s gonna be available nearly everywhere but for my Apple Books peeps here’s the link!

It cannot always be my way

As much as I’d like it to be

As confident as I am in feeling that I am right

And always strive to be in the right

And never in the wrong

This world isn’t mine to control, to bend with my will

But what if it is?

What if I’m the true alchemist of this time and with just a thought I could change this whole timeline?

Would I be infringing on the freedoms of those around me?

No. I want them to be safe, I want them to be stress free.

We can’t go too far with our way or the highway

There’s a necessary manipulation we have to participate in sometimes

A manipulation that’s for the greater good

But why do I feel my greater good is better than the opposing greater good?

Cause I’m right.

Right?

I can’t get too right because too right can turn into wrong

Then I would be manipulating myself as I manipulate others and bend them how I see fit.

A dilemma. Self righteousness and humble do not mix.

Pick one, stick with it.

Mold this instead.

Pick at what makes humanity human. Stab it, abuse it, use it.

Will it to work in your favor,

TW for post & Newsletter:

Sexual Assault

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My newsletter, Non Linear is my pride and joy right now.

I talk about all of my sexual/relationship traumas and how my assault completely derailed my mental trajectory.

Inside Scoop:

I broke down crying last night

A corner of the Earth that travelers pass through and meet hospitable people who give them soup for their journey.

I’m sure the lot of you post on other social medias, but it just feels different here.

Update on Me:

I’ve been writing on Substack pretty consistently though. The format is easier for me for some reason, but I haven’t forgot this place. One of my post kept getting activity and I was genuinely surprised. It must mean it’s time to start posting consistently here too once again.

I do have to finish my spoken word books and you guys are my test dummies 🩷

I’ve been posting on my channel Faux Intellectual as well which is politics/social issues based. My car was in the shop for a month so I’m in “ketchup” mode. I’ll write more of a personal update another day (mental/physical/spiritual health).

Bye for now.

I haven’t posted in a while but I keep seeing one of my old posts get a bunch of likes, so just posting this to say I’m still alive.

Wading through the rocky waters of life, keeping my head above it so soon my whole body can come out.

I made a video about whether or not trans people are mentally ill. Short answer is no, but I made a video. It’s on my channel Faux Intellectual where I’ll do video essays about anything, but it’ll mostly be left leaning topics, psychiatry, gender wars and all that. I’m not your typical left leaning person I don’t think, although I am sweet, my message can turn a bit aggressive with my use of curse words so yeah ..check me out

It just happens

I perform some oral

You do it back

Not nearly as long as I did

I’m over this already

I’m attracted to you but something about you makes me repulsed

Maybe you’re too eager

Or maybe I feel this isn’t right

Maybe sex before marriage really is demonic

No.

You’re a piece of shit

My orgasm means nothing to you

Because it means nothing to me

I wouldn’t even know how to get there

Guess that’s my fault

And I can’t be mad huh

So I’ll be here

I’ll disassociate, only coming back to the real world when you pound into me

Because that’s the only way I’m able to feel something

Some satisfaction

Guess that isn’t your fault either huh

I’m just gonna accept that this will be my sex life

That there will be only a small upgrade if I change partners

That this feeling will remain

Until the end of my days

And I’ll never know true Sex

I’ll never feel desired in a sensually disturbing way

Not like the books

So I’ll keep writing and reading about these fairytales

I still want to work on my “Finite” book, but I’ve started something on Substack called “Infinite Consumption”.

The first story (the first pic) is an introduction to Florence. A vampire in love, but through torment.

The second post will be an introduction to Alvira. A human with powers and extreme moral dilemmas.

I’ll share more when I have more, but the first character is up!