#thecosmodoll

Now, not having much time to establish meaningful relationships, I am left having moments of loneliness and regret. My life is moving fast, but slow. Things are happening around me, and I am over here investing in my future. I’ve had my fun, and fun is not what I want. Fun will come around again when I’m traveling abroad at the drop of a hat.

What I want is something I cannot have, at least not right now….and meeting amazing people makes me feel even worse. I always half ass my friendships because of my studies. How do others manage boyfriends and social lives? I know I’ll get over this phase of loneliness but for now, I just have to suck it up. I feel like I don’t have anybody when deep down I know I do. I don’t want to be one of those people that feels completely alone in a crowded room, but now I’ve come to know the meaning in more depth.

I have sometimes felt a stranger to myself because there are ways of feeling that I thought would never come over me. I think when people say they feel alone in a crowd, it’s because out of the crowd amongst you, not ONE person can offer you what you really want. -At least that’s how I feel sometimes. Maybe its a moment of indecisiveness and for that moment I am not happy with the person I am, or the situation I am in. Maybe I have nothing to reciprocate, leaving me all alone. That crowd maybe has way more to offer than what I really think, and the problem is me.

Let's talk cupcakes...or cupcaking. Whatever that is.