Carmy wakes to a soft nudge to his arm. It's the first thing to surprise him, but not the last. 

"Your turn."

It’s Sydney’s voice, but in a way he’s never had the honor of hearing. Soft, laden with sleep, and directed entirely at him. 

“Carm.” She groans again, and he turns, she’s on the pillow beside him, eyes still closed as she shakes him. “Your turn.”

“My turn?” He finally manages to ask, his own voice hoarse from sleep. Confusion clear. 

Then the second surprise of the night finally hit his ears. A soft cry. Rapidly gaining volume. “Yeah, babe. Your turn.” Sydney smiles, eyes still closed and he doesn’t think there’s any sight prettier on earth. 

He climbs out of his bed. His feet hitting the ground too soon. The bed not his, the window on the wrong wall. Yet it all feels so right. Like this is where he is meant to be. The confusion or the sleep, he’s not sure which, stop him from fighting it. He lets that feeling of familiarity guide him. His body moving like it knows the turns of the house like it’s his own. 

He pushes open the door, flicking on a soft lamp in the corner he somehow knew was there, and then he sees the cot. A wave of love and gratitude and joy and grief wash over him. He knows the little girl in there with her eyes scrunched up and crying is going to look back at him with a toothy smile and blink her eyes open and reveal Sydney’s beautiful brown eyes. He knows she can say mama and dada and he laughs at the memory of hearing it for the first time.

Yet he also remembers that very night, before he woke up. Sydney accepting he was leaving The Bear. None of it makes sense but his body is still moving, needing to comfort his baby girl even if he doesn’t understand how she could be his, or how Sydney could be in his bed. 

His heart is racing, beating in his throat and he feels like he might throw up as he picks up Savannah. He knows that’s her name like he’s as sure as he knows his own. His head pounds more as memories of Sydney telling him about her mom and discovering that was their babies name. How she kicked at Sydney hard as they said it to her bump over and over.

“Hey, hey.” He soothes, her tears still fall, but the volume lowers just a little, so he keeps talking, hoping to settle her more. “Makin’ so much noise, baby girl.” He holds her to his chest, her tears stopping, his own starting. The noise settles back down until only the white noise machine in the corner fills the room. He doesn’t move, just holds her close, kiss after kiss set on her head, like this little moment might be taken from him at any second. 

The door behind him squeaks open, and Sydney, still a little bleary eyed with her robe pulled tight around her stares in. “Carm? Shit, you okay?” She pressed her lips to his cheek and rests her head against his, rubbing his back. “What’s wrong?”

“Tell me how we got together? Please?”

“You know-” 

“Please?” He cuts off her quiet laugh, the plea making her go serious and she nods, gently leading them to the chair in the corner, sliding onto his lap with Savannah now asleep on his chest. 

“The night you lost your damn mind and left The Bear I went home and then at like two in the fucking morning some crazy guy is knocking on my door yelling for me to let him in.” She smiles as she says it, wiping another stray tear from his cheek. “When I did let you in you said you were gonna make me dinner, even though it was the middle of the damn night, and ‘we’re gonna finally fucking talk.’” She mocked his voice as she quoted him, making him laugh, but it’s the first memory he can’t pull back in his own mind so he sets his piercing gaze on her, ready to hear more. “You told me you were making me ramen and... it was just so fucking weird, Carm, like it’s the middle of the night and you show up with two eggs and a packet of noodles adamant we were gonna talk? That’s crazy and weird!”

“But you let me in?”

“Well, that’s because I’m crazy and a kinda weird too. Let’s get back to bed-”

“But-” He was going to argue for more time, his mind telling him he was going back to the life he’d been in before he fell asleep, but Sydney was already guiding him to the cot, then pushing him back to bed. 

He’s asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow, but not before he takes Sydney’s face in his hands, pressing a soft kiss to her lips, and whispering that he loved her.