#theangst

someone with more artistic talent than me (that is, any at all) PLEASE draw Shane!Orpheus and Ilya!Eurydice. I am BEGGING YOU. I can't even explain why but this just makes so much sense to me and I can't get it out of my head.

      Peering over the box, he found himself immediately intrigued by what could best be described as designs of humanoid-insects, but as Kiki elaborated, he looked to face her. There was something so innocent in the way she described her childhood, and he found himself unable to relate. Perhaps that explained a pull towards the wiccan at his side. She held a contrasting perspective on the world, and he found himself even more upset with her former mentor. For hurting her. For betraying her trust. Stanislav never, ever wanted Kiki to go through such heartache again.

          When handed each individual drawing, Stanislav’s hues fixated on the line work and colours. He said nothing, not wanting to interrupt that sweet, silky voice. Having come across a few fae in his lifetime, Stanislav didn’t think of Kiki’s interpretations as correct. They were fantastical, mesmerizing. 

           Once he’d finished looking over each drawing, he looked over to see the drawing of Kiki dressed up as a witch. The side of his mouth twitched into a small smile, carefully taking the drawing into his hands. Though cartoons weren’t his cup of tea, he was able to brush aside his personal distaste because in his eyes; he was willing to put it all aside in favor of supporting the woman he’d grown so fond of.

          “...how endearing. Your way with colours is truly remarkable, Miss Kiki.” Stanislav’s gaze flickered towards the drawing, then back to Kiki as he handed her the drawing. Though he’d found himself lingering on the thought, the vampire gently draped his arm around Kiki’s waist, resting his hand on her hip. He made no show of it, refusing to comment on this.

“Aw thank you I really loved anything colorful growing up. I think it really helps pull together a piece. Though I’ve done black and white sketches before as well, I normally color my artwork.” She sets the ones they just looked at to the side of her. Blue hues going wide in surprise as she feels his arm slither around her waist and his hand rest against her hip. He sure was getting bold, but she enjoyed it and found it pleasantly surprising. Being this close and comfortable with somebody physically. Making no comment herself she reaches down and picks up the next few pieces. “Oh! This one is of my house!” She leans a bit closer to Stan showing him the detailed artwork of her home. Pointing out the garden “This was the garden I’d always catch bugs in, and back behind the house are woods I’d play in often. I would help my grandmother find ingredients for potions we would make it a game. Oh and that big oak tree I used to climb up all the time.” She smiles fondly, sometimes she did miss her home just because of all the wonderful memories. She moved to the next picture “these were my highschool friend group! Though I got along with everyone these were my closest friends” she shows him a more photo realistic art piece of teenage Kiki with four people around her. She then moves to another art piece “this ones really weird cause it was from a dream I had” she shows a picture of another cartoon girl jumping on what seemed to be cotton candy clouds. She then giggled as she found one of Mr.Shadow her sleep paralysis demon. “This is what Mr.Shadow looks like! He’s pretty cool”

As they went through more artworks of crazy dreams that had been drawn or painted along with mythical creatures and fairytales. Kiki almost forgot what art pieces she had near the bottom. As she grabbed the next batch the smile that had been on her face faltered a bit. It was an image she drew on one of the days she had felt like giving up. A bottle of pills and above it a thought cloud with what seemed like a beautiful landscape. It was common for Kiki to turn her suicidal or self harm ideations into artwork instead of acting on them. She hesitated but silently handed him the piece. As much as she hated to accept the art she created while in such a mindset it was still a part of her. “I really don’t like some of the art you’re about to see....but it is still a part of me or was....even though I’d rather tear them all up.” As she glanced back at the next picture in the pile she felt her blood run cold. Of course staring her back was an art piece she had done with her art professor of them together. Pain flashed through her eyes but quickly faded to anger, of course the image emitted the vibes of a happy relationship but of course now she knew that had been full of lies. With shaky hands she placed the paper in Stans hands and felt dread swell up in her chest. More artwork of her and the professor she went through those ones rather quickly. Then came her vent drawings they all depicted what she went through during her struggles before moving to Tabula. Some had self harm, others suicide idolization, others of gory fairytale creatures trapped in cages or traps, others of what seemed like shadow monsters. She hadn’t even noticed her body had begun trembling. Finally the box was empty and she felt relief wash over herself. “M...maybe it is for the best I get rid of s...some of these....”

 Indeed, the further the city seemed to vanish behind their backs, much like in the shop Stanislav felt himself slowly slipping towards entering a private world, wherein only he and Kiki existed--like their conversation at the shop. It was terrifying, allowing himself to lose focus like this. Stanislav wasn’t used to such a feeling.

        Walking alongside Kiki, his peripheral vision allowed him to see the wiccan’s satisfaction in making such a guess, nonetheless how obvious it may have been. The now-familiar sensation of the side of his mouth twisting into a small grin, he found himself flattered by Kiki’s compliment. Dark blue, huh? “...noted.” 

            Stanislav stiffened upon the sensation of a much smaller, warm hand finding way into his own; but a wave of relief washed over him as his fingers interlaced with Kiki. He’d never been one for physical contact, for holding hands--but if it was Kiki, he didn’t seem to mind. It was almost expected at this point. Giving a small squeeze, he spoke softly; “Whatever you say, Miss Kiki.” He’d let her take this one.

         Continuing to walk, Stanislav found himself silently inspecting Kiki once again. His smile had faded, but a look that could only be described as adoration graced his hues. Internally, the beast had reared its head and perked up with curiosity. Then a part of Stanislav, what could best be regarded as his sanity, pleaded for him to let go of Kiki’s hand. To snap himself out of this moment, detach once again. This wasn’t good--with this feeling, whatever it could be--came the prospect of danger. Of secrets being uncovered. If this was...no, it couldn’t be love. Stanislav didn’t know what such a sensation felt like, despite yearning to understand, experience it for himself.

             Disgust brewed in his stomach, aimed towards himself. If only he could tell her the truth, tell her before it was too late...

         Her words interrupted his thoughts, a cessation of the negative out-pour. Immediately he returned to the present, and he found himself straining to locate any foreseeable threats. Once he’d made sure the coast was clear, he gave Kiki’s hand a small squeeze.

        “Is something on your mind, Miss Kiki?”  

Feeling his hand giving hers a small squeeze she snapped out of her thoughts and looked over towards Stan their eyes locking. Did she really want to open up to him? She trusted him but to what extent? She took a deep breath and looked off to the side. The only person she’d really opened up with about her past was Garridan and that ended in a fit, was she ready to open up to another person? As though her mouth had already decided the answer she began speaking. “Remember how I said I decided to major in art for college? Well at first I was unsure of what to major in but I ended up running into the art professor at the college and he took notice of my sketches. We became fast friends and he eventually convinced me to start trying to major in art. He was a really nice guy so understanding and supportive and our friendship ended up....blossoming into a bit more though of course because he was the professor it was kept lowkey. We weren’t dating or anything it was...complicated” She sighed softly as her mind seemed to flip through images she remembered from that time. “He really helped me out with my art he always told me how talented I was and that I was born to be an artist. We spent a lot of time at his place after classes and he taught me so much. Before I knew it I had fallen for him and I was so sure he felt the same. We’d go on walks at night when no one was around hand in hand similar to this but different at the same time...and just talk about anything and everything...it was nice. I never had been one for relationships in the past I was more focused on my friends and dreams” she looked over and down at their interlocked fingers. “I worked the hardest I could to reach my dreams of becoming the artist he saw me as...everything was going perfectly as you know the town I came from isn’t too fond of supernaturals. All my life I’d been able to hide the fact I was a wiccan but one night I was stupid and ended up getting caught” she braced herself as she knew she was entering risky territory for her mentality. So she decided to be more vague about it “Garridan is the only person here I’ve told and when I did I ended up freaking out on him though he doesn’t know what I’m telling you...so....I’ll skip the details.....Let’s just say word spread around fast and it wasn’t received well...”

she inhaled as she refocused her mind on the story she was telling currently. “He was so sweet about it and accepting, he was the only one left I could trust. During class I was ignored but he told me it was cause he couldn’t risk his reputation and at the time I saw no fault in it.” She gnawed on the inside of her cheek. “A lot of bad things happened and on top of that someone in my art class started sabotaging my art and projects. He was there to comfort and push me to strive and continue despite what was going on. It was really awful considering my grade began dipping which meant me being considered for professional art positions was at risk. Despite that I kept pushing forward....” She went silent momentarily as she seemed to zone out. Inside her mind all these images from the past were flipping through her mind like a sped up movie. She gave Stans hand a small squeeze as her gaze refocused to in front of them. She didn’t even notice that tears had started streaming down her pale face.

“Well things just kept getting worse and finally when I was at my lowest he confessed to me that he had been the one destroying my art. He...he was disgusted by me, thought that supernaturals and their kind didn’t deserve to walk among humans....I of course was angry, confused, and hurt one of the last people I trusted and loved....we ended up getting into a fight, our first fight we’d ever had.” She bit down on her lip as her grip on his hand seemed to tighten. “He said he felt threatened by me...so he wanted to show me that I should be the one scared of him....others had done things before but he...he went all the way. I hate to admit it but afterwards I was afraid....terrified of him” she stared up at the sky now now realizing she was crying but she didn’t care at this point. “I couldn’t do anything about it...he told me if I said anything that he would accuse me of casting a love spell on him. With how the town viewed me I couldn’t take that chance so I kept my lips sealed. I dropped out of art and went back to casual classes while still doing acting on the side as a different major. I wonder if I truly did love him or if it was infatuation because after the incident I didn’t harbor any feelings towards him anymore other than hate I got over him quickly but not what he did........things only continued to get worse and eventually I just stopped going to college altogether.....I really really wanted to die....it was then that I realized I needed to leave. My grandmother and mother both only knew bits and pieces of what had been happening but agreed with me seeing the state I was in. So I packed my shit and took out my life savings to move to Tabula. A place where supernaturals and humans can live without judgement side by side....I wanted to put it all behind me and pretend nothing ever happened...” taking in a shaky breath she finally mustered up the courage to look at Stans face.

        He carefully pulled away, hands on her shoulders. “Here, allow me. Just a moment.” He spoke quietly, carefully. He stood up from the sofa and moved over to some sort of dresser, grabbing a rather petite package of tissues. He made his way over to the sofa, using one of the light-weight sheets to lightly dab at Kiki’s tear-stained cheeks. His touch was relatively gentle, seeing has he worked on corpses everyday and was used to having to clean up far more grotesque fluids than that of tears.

       He bit his lower lip, silently offering Kiki the kleenex so she could effectively compose herself. Questions bounced around in his head; particularly that of why Kiki was so adamant about refusing to cry. Though he hated to pry, he knew that he’d have a hard time falling asleep that morning should he leave his friend to deal with her emotions herself.

    “I...forgive me for asking, but...what exactly happened-? Ofcourse, I...I wouldn’t ever force you, not at all...never, I just...w-wish to help. In any way I possibly can.”

She sat silently and allowed the vampire to wipe away at her tears. Taking the Kleenex once handed to her and harshly wiped away at her wet cheeks. Once finished she placed the crumpled up tissue in her lap. She could feel all of her muscles tense as her friend asked about what happened. Normally she would’ve brushed it off and made up some silly excuse or small lie, but she was already feeling emotionally vunerable and the words slipped from her mouth before she could think much of it. “Before moving here I lived in a small town a few hours from here....this town was not a fan of anything supernatural if anything they preached heavily against it. I am human but I’m also a wiccan....I dabble in magic along with my grandmother and mother. Of course from a young age I was taught to keep everything about magic secret and was only allowed to speak or practice it within the walls of our home. I had a great life, I loved that town so much...I had so many friends I was doing great in school. My life continued on perfectly, I went into college and was studying to become an artist though I wanted to do acting on the side, since I got on so well with people. When I turned eighteen my grandmother gave me a wand that had been handed down in my family for centuries.” She sighed softly and let herself lean back into the couch cushions. “It’s magic had to be unlocked...it’s unknown if any of my past relatives were able to use its abilities but in its current state the wand was powerless. I made it my mission to unlock its powers and would work on it in my free time. Behind our house we had a pretty decent sized woods, I’d often play within the trees as a child and had even helped my grandmother collect items for potions from it.” She smiles remembering her younger self, the trees back then had seemed so gigantic and mysterious back then. “One night about a year ago I had stumbled across a ritual that I thought could help me unlock the wand. It had to be performed under the full moon...I chose those woods thinking it was well enough hidden and that I’d be in privacy. I was wrong....mid ritual one of my college colleagues was for some reason in the woods....he started to film me calling me a witch! It distracted me and the fucking ritual blew up literally!” She could feel herself getting riled up and took a deep breath to calm herself down. “We both ended up in the hospital...luckily I managed to get out barely scathed due to my quick thinking of a defense spell however he has burn scars all over his body to this day...of course the video got around town and I was labeled a witch. My life turned into hell rather quickly....I lost all my friends, people who I once got along with suddenly began torturing me.... bruises, cuts, breaking my things...spitting....pushing....ruining my work.....raping....teasing....” her fists clenched as she could see the images flashing through her mind. “Everyday it got worse and worse, I had to drop out of college....then they began attacking me at home... I couldn’t even go out because everyone knew. I was disgusting to them.. I wanted to die so badly...I began hurting myself for them...this went on for months and months....it started effecting my mom and grandma so I knew I had to leave...I grabbed my savings, packed my shit and came here in hopes to fit in....” by now she was hugging herself, her nails digging into her arms, she knew she was crying, she had started back up during her story but didn’t pay mind to it. She was shocked that everything spilled out of her just like that but now that it was out she felt like she was reliving everything. “T...that’s why I can’t cry anymore.....” she felt her heartbeat speeding up and her breathing hitched, she knew what was happening. Her body was going into a panic attack, something she hadn’t experienced since moving here. “I need to use the..the restroom!” She quickly pushed herself up off the couch not bothering to even see the vampires expression to everything she had let out. She ran as fast as she could to the bathroom, closing the door and locking it.

((Ohgod))