#theandrofile

Logan didn't have ideas very often, but I can still remember how his eyes lit up, the way his lips curved into a megawatt smile when he said:

"Bro…what if we hung out, like, every weekend? Just you n' me?"

Another week had passed, and another "day of the dudes" dawned. Logan popped open the passenger door of his car, quickly tossing a tub of protein powder behind him.

"Ah, sorry, dude! I know you're, like, a totally neat freak, huhu. Just, uh…don't look in the back seat."

I waved it off as I twisted myself around a few tubs buried in the footwell. "It's fine. Do I want to know?"

"Free samples…gotta sponsorship deal. Whaddya think?"

"Oh, damn! That's great, man."

"Yeah, huhu?" The megawatt smile flashed again.

"Can I ask you something?"

He nodded.

"Why do you care what I think? I mean, you ask for my opinion on a lot of…stuff. Like what you should wear…"

"Uh…"

"And what exercises you should do…"

"Right, yeah…"

"But like, come on! You really want fashion and workout tips from me?"

"I…uh…"

"Sorry. I didn't mean to interrogate you. It's just…been on my mind."

"What's…that...word mean?"

"Interrogate?"

"Yeah, you're, like, asking me all these questions, dude!" He laughed. "Don't make me think…kinda distractin' while I'm tryna drive n' shit…"

"That's what it means."

"What what means?"

"Interrogation. It means asking questions."

"Oh…gotcha. So…"

"It's okay."

"No…it's cool. I wanna answer. Uh…how…words…" The car slowed to stop at a red light, and Logan turned to me.

"I…don't like havin' to make decisions. That shit's hard, y'know? Like my whole life, parents, coaches, whoever. I just had somebody tellin' me what to do. Go to class. Get to practice. Put your uniform on. Whatever. So…I'm just…used to it." He inhaled. "I can throw on some shorts, or bang out a set, no prob. But when somebody tells me to do that? I like it. And when that somebody's you, bro? Fuck…I like that a lot."

The light changed, and he turned away from me.

"Oh. Oh."

"Yeah," he said, eyes locked on the road. "Yeah."

The rest of the drive was silent until he parked and looked back at me, arm draped over the center console, fingers dangling above my thigh.

"Whatchu thinkin'?"

"I think…I like that, too. I like it a lot," I said. "I like it when you listen..."

"I was hopin' you'd say that, bro. It's kinda…"

"Kinky?"

He blushed. "Uh…it don't gotta be. But, uh...it can be? Do you wanna…?"

But how I ended up at the University of Alabama? Well, I'm still making sense of that. And I'm still making sense of Beau...

AUGUST 15, 2025

"C'mere, dude! It's nice to meet 'ya!" He said, pulling me into a hug. "Been waitin' for this all my life, hahaha. How 'bout you? It's gonna be a helluva year, yeah?"

"Hey," I squeaked. "Yeah…same...? I'm Alex."

"Ooo…nice. You n' me? We're gonna be, like, total Bama bros, hahaha."

"Uh…, okay?"

"So…ya like football? 'Cus I'm on the team!"

"Oh? That's...great."

"I know, right? Gotta keep the tradition alive, hahaha. Dad was on the team, n' I think I gotta an uncle or somethin' that was too."

"What, uh, position do you play?"

"Tight end."

"Oh, okay." I paused. "And…what do they do?"

Beau smiled. "You gotta lot to learn!"

"Right. That's why I'm at college. To learn."

"Yeah, me too! I'm majoring in kinny…kines…kenny-sea…uh…"

"Kinesiology?"

"Yeah, that sounds about right. It's all about, like, exercise n' stuff."

"And stuff?"

"Yeah, like what tight ends do." His smile shifted into a smirk. "How 'bout you?"

"Journalism," I said. "Don't take this wrong way, but are you sure you're supposed to be here? In this dorm, I mean. Surely there's some kind of special housing for you guys on the team, I mean. Especially…here." I threw my hands up, gesturing to the sprawling campus around us.

"Uh…you're kiddin', yeah?"

"What?"

"Dude, this is the athletic dorm…you didn't notice all the guys luggin' gear around here?"

For a journalist, or an aspiring one, I guess I wasn't very observant.

"How am I supposed to live here? You're all…you. And I'm all…me."

"Uh, what's that s'posed to mean?"

"I don't…I don't think this is going to work out."

"Did I do somethin' wrong?" Beau's smile dropped into a frown. "Look, if you're worried about somethin'…you can tell me."

He leaned in closer. "We're roommates, y'know?"

"Oh, I know."

"Well, roommate to roommate?"

"I'm not a weight-lifting, football-playing, beer-chugging, cross-wearing, Jesus-loving, Bible-quoting kind of guy," I gulped. "Pretty much the opposite, actually."

"Okay. So…you think…that's what I am?"

I nodded. He was quiet for what felt like a long time.

"Uh, I don't drink. Not really."

"I'm sorry, Beau." I paused. "That was…pretty judgmental."

"Ain't journalists s'posed to be open-minded?" His smile was back as quickly as it faded. He sighed. "Coach says I should be more, uh, 'well-rounded.'" His fingers curled into air quotes. "So…you bein' here? That'd be good. Real good. 'Cus you could help me write my kinny…kines…kine…ah, whatever essays. And I can help you with…uh…"

"Football?"

"Right!"

"So…maybe you chill out a little, yeah? Getta know me a little more?"

"I'll give it a shot," I said. "We've got a whole year..."

People come and go. They switch majors or find new apartments, take jobs in different cities or jet off somewhere to reinvent themselves.

I would know something about that.

I want to keep in touch, of course.

Good luck in New York!

It was great working with you. Call me if you ever need anything!

A summer in Portugal? Wow!

I just…don't. But then:

1 NEW MESSAGE: RYAN BIO heyyyyy!!! how r u???

Huh.

Hi, Ryan! I'm doing well. It's been a minute. How are you? didnt think u saved my number lol. I did. We had a project together.

I didn't have to scroll up far to see our last conversation. It was rather one-sided.

yeh u helped me out. If by "helped" you mean did the whole thing for you. lmao no way ur still pissed about that? I mean, I remember it. I don't know if I'm "pissed." why u textin lik its an essay bro??? That's just how I type. ok smartypants lol!!! So…you were saying hi? yeh dude!!! u wanna catch up or somethin??? About what? i dunno. stuff. kinda had a ? 4 u. Okay. can i ft u? just got hom from gym. Sure, just give me a…

"Yo!"

"Hi…"

"Damn, dude, did you lose weight?"

"Yes. I don't want to" -

"Nice, dude, niiicccee!"

"Right. Well, you look…bigger?"

"Yeah, I got this whole new routine now. It's pretty fuckin' awesome, hahaha."

"You had a question for me?"

"Yeah. So, uh, how'd you know you liked dudes?"

"What?"

"I dunno. You like dudes, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay…so, like, how do you know that, though?"

"Please don't say you have a crush on me."

"Nah, I don't. I'm just askin' for some advice." He paused and pressed his eyelids shut for a moment.

"I don't really know how you know," I said. "One day, I just knew. I mean, it took years for me to come out and say it."

"Ah, okay. 'Cus I'm tryin' some stuff…and, uh, it's hot. Like, hot hot. Not gonna lie, bro, it makes me pretty har" -

"Alright, I get the idea."

"Right…But yeah, it's fun. Makes me feel…good."

"What exactly is it?"

"I dunno what you call it. But, there's these guys who just…really like guys like me. Big, dumb" -

"Who says you're dumb?"

"Bro, you carried me through bio. You don't gotta be nice. It's cool." He laughed. "But, yeah, these guys like me. And…I like that, them likin' me, I mean. They tell me how big I'm gettin', and how dumb I look, and how I'm just a big, dumb, bro…" His cheeks reddened. "And it's not just that. 'Cus, like, they want me to keep goin'. Dudes are buying me gear and protein powder and shit. It's…cool. Really cool."

"Who are these guys?"

"I dunno. Just randos, I guess. Some of 'em are pretty chill, some not so much. But I don't really know 'em."

"Well, that's the internet for you."

"Umm…"

"Yeah?"

"Would you wanna tell me some of that…stuff?"

"Like what?"

"I dunno. Just…call me a big, dumb, bro."

"I don't want to yuck your yum, but…"

"Just once? You're, like, helping me explore my sectsuactually."

"It's sexuality."

"See what I mean? I'm dumb as fuck. Bro, please…just once?"

"You're a big, dumb, bro."

"I'm a big, dumb, bro. I'm your big, dumb, bro."

"...Where did that come from?"

"I…dunno." He blushed. "Umm…damn. Maybe I do got a crush on you?"

"Oh?"

He smiled. "Yeah, maybe I like seein' how smart you are. Makin' you do all the work while I'm just your big, dumb, bro."

"And this is all coming out now…because?"

"I dunno, dude. But, like, I wanna do it again. Talkin' to you. Talkin' about this. Maybe meetin' up?"

"In a way…I guess it was nice? Catching up, I mean."

damn u gotta be smart as hell cus those are some long ass answers...didnt read em but ur pretty cute lmao

Damien

Hey! hey ;) So...do you say that to every guy you meet on here? lmao maybe??? why, u mad? cus its true ur cute all lil n nerdy lmao Well, it's true that you're cute too, haha. nah i dont wanna be cute n shit i wanna be perfect Perfect how? like...i wanna be a beast a monster a god just make me fuckin big as hell n dumb as hell just meat and muscle for my bros wdyt ;) Oh... u like that? bro i kno u like that hahaha I do, yeah. so...u gonna make me perfect? I hope so. You seem to be really into the idea...? its not a fuckin idea dude its like...a way of life, yeah? eat big lift big get big but like...ur brain gets all small n shit hahaha feels fuckin awesome tell me what to do bro i wanna get big for u pls bro just tell me bro... bro???

Sorry! Had to step away for a minute.

okay no prob u wanna see my pump? gym went crazy today Sure haha!

gotta get bigger for u bro ;) Well, I think it depends on what you want, like are you happy with your progress? Because you're already pretty big. I don't really know about gym stuff, sorry... thats okay but it doesnt matter not what i want its u dude u gotta make me perfect tell me what u want bro make me do it make me perfect make me urs make me a bro