finished up my tower of thunder designs

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Um I'm kinda having existential panic about NHS Nightingale; it's been clustering in for a while, and now I can feel the building humming in me. They've somehow managed to turn this liminal, absorbent, cavernous, airplane hanger-mausoleum of departure-lounge nothingness into something even worse than what it is; I cannot imagine anywhere worse to die; there it is, heavy and huge in the landscape like a stargate or an abandoned alien technology, squatting like a giant mouth ready to swallow the old and the dying and the life of the city one by one, and never be filled. You can go there at night, you know; just walk in when it's empty, all lit up, and wander around - before it was an eerily named hospital, I mean - no one will stop you, except if you are on roller skates. Then, the megaphones will crank up and inform you that is forbidden. So it's empty, but you're still being watched. There's a particular flavour of unsettling that building evokes in me, the kind of unsettling I sometimes need at 2AM when I cannot sleep; so I used to walk down to the river, and wander around inside until I got tired, alone but surrounded by this immense space designed to to host 4 international conventions simultaneously; it is silent, but something about it echoes; it is inert, but something about it is pulsating; and now that thing inside it is being fed. I can hear it and feel it, and I am so very, very happy I am the distance away from it that I am.

2013