#thatsanswitch

But your art of Klee is so gosh darn cute I might get into it just because of that

agshdgdhdg i’m-

Taco date time you said? Taco date time it is.

thank you for the prompt! I wanted to give the story the feel of a scene from the movie; it took a lot of reading the script to get a hold of White’s talking, some research and youtube watching, and a bit of brazenly stealing someone else’s anecdotes (more about that at the end). enjoy!

103. “Sharing is caring. Now give me your fries.” + Freddy/Larry

“I'm hungry. Let's get a taco.”

White starts the ignition and drives off the curb, and Freddy has to laugh because who the fuck talks about smashing noses and cutting off fingers and the next second thinks about eating tacos. But the truth is Freddy has met a lot of guys like that, who feed on violence and live off it, guys who will pick up a black guy on the street just because he looked at them funny, carry him to the station with some bullshit excuse and beat him up in the interrogation room; guys who won't take a woman's domestic violence claim just because her husband's a cop too. He doesn't have to think too hard about it for White to seem tender in comparison. And the thing is, he is. White is one of the gentlest men he's ever known, with his perfect manners and his soft smiles and his lighter out every time Freddy puts a cigarette on his lips. He's tough too, Freddy knows, because he's seen him talking with Joe and has heard his stories, and he hasn't seen him angry (doesn't want to) but he knows you've got to be tough if you want to survive as a career criminal. But never with Freddy, and that's more than most people have done for him.

“Now, everybody reacts differently to finding themselves in a robbery,” White’s using that same educational tone again, gesturing with the hand that holds his cigarette. “Some people scream, some people laugh, some cry, some curse you out… you gotta learn to read people, you know? Be aware at all times of the situation around you, know who’s gonna try to give you any trouble. And not only do you gotta control the people, you gotta control yourself. Robbing a place will get your adrenaline off the charts, so you gotta control your emotions, learn how to act so when you come into the place they don’t think ‘Hey, what’s this guy up to?’”

Freddy’s staring at White while he drives, his mouth hanging slightly open. The more the man talks, the more entranced he feels. He’s eager to listen because he doesn’t want to fuck up the job, true, and he wants to learn as much as he can from White because Holdaway’s told him to pick up anything that might be useful, but there’s something else. Something about the way he talks, the way he looks at him sideways to catch Freddy’s reaction to his words, that makes Freddy unable to stop looking. It might have something to do with the fact that he’s gotta be the most attractive man he’s seen in a while.

“Here we are.” White stops the car in front of a small, shabby-looking Mexican place, with sun-bleached paint coming off the colorful sign (La tasca del Frijolito, it says) and a few metal chairs and tables under a parasol in the sidewalk in front of it. They walk inside and the old Mexican woman behind the bar greets White with a huge grin and a few words in Spanish.

“Hola guapetón, ¿otra vez por aquí? Y vienes bien acompañado...” She looks over at Freddy without losing her smile. White laughs and nods.

“Hola, Carmen.” He gives the dirty laminated menu a look. “Uuuh… I think I'll have a taco Salvaje.” He tries to give it a Mexican accent.

“Muy bien. ¿Y el cuate?”

White turns to him. “What'll you have, kid?”

Freddy shrugs. “Same as you.”

“You sure about that? It's spicy.”

Freddy gives him an easy smile and leans on the counter. “I think I'll handle myself.”

White laughs and shakes his head. “Suit yourself. And you want fries with that?”

“Nah, I'm good.”

“Yeah?” White lifts a brow. “I won't share mine if you want fries later.”

Freddy shakes his head and casually taps the bar with his hands. “I'm not that hungry.”

“Okay. So… two tacos Salvajes and fries for one. To go”

“Marchando.” The lady turns around and starts shouting in Spanish at an impossible speed through the kitchen window behind the counter.

“To go? Where are we going?”

“We're going back to the store, kid. We're casing the place, we don't have time to go on dates.”

Freddy turns his head away trying to compose a scowl, but he's a little embarrassed, pretty sure he could be blushing right now. From the corner of his eye he can see White is smirking.

The lady comes back a few minutes later with a brown paper bag that smells amazingly, and as Freddy reaches for his wallet White lifts an arm to stop him. “Don't worry kid, it's on me.” Damn fucking gallant crook.

“At least let me get the tip.”

“Nah. It’s taken care of.” He leaves a big tip too.

They go back to the car and drive away, and Freddy feels the need to ask a question just so he can keep hearing White talking. “So what happens if someone wants to come in?”

“Well, since you're already outside, you tell ‘em it’s closed, turn that son of a bitch right away, As I said, you always gotta be in control of the situation. If we didn't have you outside that'd be another thing. You know, I got a funny story about that.” While White drives he reaches over and puts a hand down the bag that's resting in Freddy's lap, takes the fries out of it. Freddy gets a nervous rush out of it. White puts the fries in the drink holder between the two seats, starts munching on them as he speaks.

“So... jewelry store in Florida, right near the beach, very busy place, right? People coming and going all the time. But I cased the place and found out the least busy hours, so when the time’s right I come into the store, tie the clerks down, get my partner in, got a guy in the back door of the place waiting with a car, all good. We're cleaning the place out when an old couple comes in, rings the door buzzer. Now, what can I do? They've already seen there's people inside.”

Seeing the fries has made Freddy hungry, so he takes his taco out and takes a big bite. White wasn't lying when he said it was spicy, but he doesn't want him to say 'I told you', so he has to fight back the tears. And while he's busy speaking, he takes his chance and casually takes a fry or two.

“So I let them in, go over there and open my jacket to show them my gun.” They're stopped in a red light so White opens one side of his jacket with one hand and makes a gun with the fingers of the other, gestures like he's showing his hidden gun under there. Freddy eats a few more fries in between bites of his taco.

“And I say to 'em, 'Hey, you're in on a robbery' and they go 'Oh, oh no, were gonna-'” White puts his right hand on the air defensively and looks comically terrified. “And I said 'No, no, no, no,'” he shakes his hand in an assuring way. “I tell them 'Just come over here, sit over here. Look at that wall. Yes ma'am, look at that wall. Don't move, and when I leave you have to wait ten minutes. I'm gonna check! So just don't move.' Didn't tie them or anything...”

They're back in front of the diamond's place and White looks over at Freddy with raised brows as he kills the engine.

“Now, kid, you think you're being subtle or something? I'm not blind, so stop eating my fries.”

White puts a menacing finger up, but he's smiling when he takes the brown bag from Freddy and takes out his own taco. Freddy smiles trying to mirror the man's charm. “Sorry.”

White hums with delight after the first bite.

“Hmm, this shit's delicious. So anyway, we do the robbery, and I go to the back to give my partner the signal. But the son of a bitch doesn't come around right away! I don't know if he saw someone or what, but when me and my partner come out of the store with our bags full of jewels the car isn't there. So now I have to go back into the place, and when I pass by I tell the old couple, ‘I’m just checking you!’, and it was so funny, they go…” White puts again on the comically scared face. “‘No, no, we’re not moving!”

Freddy starts smirking amused, and that gets a smile out of White too. He takes another fry.

“So I go in the back again, give my guy another call (‘C’mon, you asshole!’), he comes around, picks me up and we’re outta there in a flash. And listen to this: the next day the old couple are interviewed in the paper, and it said: ‘Oh, he was a nice man!’ I’d just stolen seventy grand and they thought I was a nice man! Because I knew how to deal with the situation.”

By the end of the story Freddy's grinning and giggling like an idiot, not only because it is a funny story, but because Larry told it with such enthusiasm, like he's trying to impress him. And he is impressed, because he never thought a robber could be so charming. One more fry goes into his mouth.

Larry tries to sound serious as he talks next, but he’s also laughing:

“I’m warning you boy; I like you,” he likes me, “but if you don’t stop eating my fries…”

“What do you care? You’ve got a lot of fries.”

White takes the paper basket away and puts it close to his chest. “They’re my fries, so I care a lot.”

“Well…” Freddy’s got a shit-eating grin on his face, and he’s pronouncing the words slowly, blinking, trying to work up his appeal. “Sharing is caring. Now give me your fries.”

Next thing he’s stretching himself across the seats to snatch the fries, as White laughs and tries to push him away.

***

Notes:

I’m not nearly imaginative enough to have come up with that great “Nice robber” story. It was shamelessly robbed borrowed (as well as some of White's tips) from Larry Lawton. He is an ex-career criminal who turned FBI advisor after doing 12 years in jail. He’s got a youtube channel where he talks about his life and crimes.

Dialogue in Spanish:

“Hola guapetón, ¿otra vez por aquí? Y vienes bien acompañado...” - “Hello handsome, here again? And with good company…”

“Muy bien. ¿Y el cuate?” - “Very good, and your friend?”

From @thatsanswitch

To @anony-phangirl

that’s perfect. Or should I say

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Haha, nah, I’m not gonna. It’s not really the style of this blog, tbh. :3 It’s cool if it’s not your style, either, friendo.

I don’t mind people sending me messages, though. Personally, that doesn’t bother me at all. :)

In general, just a reminder to everyone: if you find your actions are genuinely annoying or distressing someone, it’s important to back off. Actually upsetting other people isn’t cool.

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