So my Secret Santee mentioned that one of her favorite pairings from New Adventures of Peter and Wendy was John x Umbrella, which I thought was fantastic and hilarious, and inspired me to write an origin story for how John and Umbrella first came to be. So, a song for Kelsey (mamaleh6994), and anyone else who ships âJohnbrellaâ from âThe New Adventures of Peter and Wendyâ.
In the style of a Johnny Cash Ballad
To all you Johnbrella Shippers out there, this oneâs for you:
Now hereâs a story you may not have been told
About a little boy (though now heâs old)
And the most pivotal moment
See, this little boy (though now a grown man),
was walking down the street, kicking a can,
when all the sudden he felt something
Heâd gotten these senses from being bullied a lot
And he glanced around (but he soon wished he had not)
Now John, (for thatâs our heroâs name)
when he turned around, he did exclaim:
âThis isnât fair! Look at the advantage
And Thor Odinson (up in Valhalla)
Heard the boyâs cries, and they made him feel sour
and so in answer, he crafted
Forged from stars and strong as hell,
he knew this blade would serve John well,
so he named it âUmbrellaâ
Back on earth, there was a flash of light
and down from the heavens, slicing the night
fell a weapon more powerful
than John had seen in a while
With the cry of an eagle, and a flash of lightning,
John caught the blade, and shouted âFight me!â
The mere sight of Umbrella made the bullies weep
And they all threw themselves face first on the street
Well the bullies turned tail, and headed south
and John kissed Umbrella, straight on the mouth!
And said âI love you Umbrella, thank you for being
And Umbrella just sat there, because hes an umbrella
but John knew he sure was a lucky fella
to have such a faithful companion
And now John keeps Umbrella everywhere he goes
Because you never know when you might have to battle foes
And Umbrella someday will return to Valhalla,
But whenever a bully makes a boy feel smaller
Umbrella will be there quick
Well that thereâs the story of a boy named John
and his faithful Umbrella, and the story goes on
Well you can just tell âem you heard it