#thasmine

THEY’RE GAY

IM FREAKING OUT

sad= Ryan and Graham leaving

The rest of us are all so close knit and supportive of each other. Like, before this season the fandom was so giant and I could go on for years and never see everything. There would be so many unread fics and so much ignored art, but now I feel like we see and appreciate it all.

Plus, I kind of feel like there's a connection with the people who I follow and who follow me. I've never felt that before. When I look at the notes on posts I realize that I'm following almost every blog dedicated to season 11 possible.

And you know what the best part is? There's no room for hate among us. There's so much support and love because, when there's so little content, we can't afford to waste our time fighting.

So who cares if everybody else left because they hate Jodie Whittaker or the writing or whatever? It's just made the fandom so much more amazing for the rest of us.

Let's stay positive this year and keep on making more and more content during the hiatus, and let's not worry about those who ship differently, don't agree with your headcannons, or who just stopped watching entirely.

This fanfiction is based on my dream I had! Yes. I had this exact adventure with 13 and Ryan in my dream. I don’t know what my brain gets up to sometimes.

The Doctor finally agrees to let the Reader and Ryan go Christmas shopping. It’s normal present day… Or is it? Trouble ensues. Can the Doctor save the Reader in time before it’s too late?

13th Doctor/F!Reader

Fluff, Angst… It gets sad(ish)

(I didn’t intend for this fic to be this long…)

-x-

“Yes! Fine! Okay!” the Doctor exclaimed as you and Ryan kept on pushing her towards the console, “We can go Christmas shopping but only for an hour max! I’m craving an adventure!”

“Make that two hours and we have a deal.” you replied, folding your arms. You knew that the Doctor could never say no to you.

Ryan added, “Don’t want to upset your girlfriend now do you, Doctor?”

The Doctor glared between Ryan and you.

With a groan, the alien turned towards the console, “Fine. Two hours.”  she muttered.

You stepped towards her and kissed her on the cheek, just before she set the location on the console.

-x-

“Boring old present day.” the Doctor said, opening the TARDIS doors.

“In case you’ve forgotten, Doctor…” Ryan started, “We had to fight giant spiders during present day. That wasn’t exactly boring, was it?”

“They were only spiders.” you said, walking out of the TARDIS.

Ryan gave you a look of disbelief as he stepped out next to you, “GIANT spiders!”

The Doctor laughed, exiting the TARDIS behind you, “Okay, okay. Clock’s ticking you two! Remember… Two hours.”

You nodded before grabbing the Time Lord’s hand. The three of you then headed around a nearby corner and there it was… The giant shopping centre. There would be plenty of places to buy a variety of different gifts here. Including one for the Doctor. Hopefully…

There were countless numbers of people entering and exiting through the giant glass doors, and once there was an opening the three of you entered.

Upon setting foot inside the giant building, you felt a shiver run down your spine. It wasn’t necessarily cold… You just fell off.

You decided to ask the Doctor about the feeling, “Doc-“

She squeezed your hand, “Nope. Nothing wrong. Nothing at all.” she quickly cut you off before dragging you further into the building.

Looking over your shoulder, you gave Ryan a look of worry. He nodded in understanding. You decided to shake the feeling off.

Afterall… It was only present day. Nothing weird could happen.

-x-

“It’s been one hour and you still haven’t bought anything.” the Doctor said as she looked at the range of clothes alongside one of the walls.

“I can’t choose!” you exclaimed.

Ryan nodded, “It’s hard to buy for you lot.”

“You don’t need to get me any-“

“Yes, we do.” you quickly cut the Doctor off, “Don’t argue. You’ve done a lot for us so we can at least buy you a present.”

A smile appeared on the Doctor’s face as she continued looking at the clothes, her hands found their way into her pockets.

“How about we check out the gadget shop?” Ryan suggested, already beginning to leave the current shop.

You nodded, “That might be best.”

The Doctor grabbed your hand, leading you out of the shop with Ryan close behind. The three of you slipped through the crowd towards the nearest gadget shop.

You definitely noticed that a few people were giving you and the Doctor weird looks as you approached the shop. 2018 and people still weren’t comfortable with this.

The Doctor leaned and gave you a kiss on the cheek as you arrived at the shop, “Try to ignore them, (Y/N).” she gave you a reassuring smile.

Nodding, you replied, “Yeah. Okay.”

Just as you were about to step into the shop, the Doctor’s hand gripped yours tighter, making you stop. You looked at her in confusion.

Ryan also expressed confusion, “What’s wrong, Doctor?”

“Yeah, Doc? What’s up?” you asked with worry.

She then pulled you away from the crowd, Ryan followed, “Something’s not right here.” the Doctor said, removing her hand from yours to find her sonic in her coat.

“Wh-What?” Ryan questioned.

“I just felt the temperature rise significantly.” she explained, “It’s not a huge jump but… It’s definitely making me feel uneasy.” she said, finally finding her sonic. She pointed it up at the high ceiling, scanning it quick before bringing it back down to look at the results, “Ah. That’s not good.”

You sighed, “I thought you said that this was normal present day. Nothing bad was supposed to happen!”

“It is present day! Just… Not our present day.”

“What?” you asked, confused.

The Doctor bit her lip, “It’s an alternate universe.”

“Alternate universe?!” Ryan exclaimed.

The Time Lord shushed him, “Yes. But I have no idea how we got here. We definitely didn’t enter this alternate universe via the Tardis.”

“So, you’re saying that we walked through some kind of door to get here?” Ryan wondered.

The Doctor nodded, “Exactly. But when could we have walked through a door?”

You and Ryan looked at each other before looking back at the Doctor, “Could it have been when we came into the shop? I did feel… off when we got in.” you said.

“Yes! Of course!” the Doctor agreed, “We must have coincidentally walked through the doorway as it was open. But it was only open for a fraction of a second.”

“That’s a hell of a coincidence, Doctor.” Ryan stated.

“It’s the only explanation.” she replied before looking around with a look of worry, “We need to lea- oh! Woah…”

“What? What’s wrong?” you asked, quickly.

“The temperature rose again. A lot.”

Ryan nodded, “Now that you mention it… It does feel a lot warmer now.”

“Yeah…” you said, starting to feel uneasy, “Can we get back through the door we came in?”

The Doctor shook her head, “It would be near impossible. We have to find another doo-“

The blonde was cut off by a loud explosion coming from somewhere within the crowd. Screams and shouts soon echoed throughout the building and running ensued.

The Doctor grabbed both yours and Ryan’s hands, running towards the source of the explosion. You looked up and noticed a hole in the glass ceiling. There was smoke coming from the location of the explosion.

Upon arriving, the Doctor let go of yours and Ryan’s hands. She had her sonic ready. There was giant rock on the floor, it was the same height as the Doctor. Smoke was emitting from the rock and a yellow light pulsed throughout the cracks.

The Time Lord aimed her sonic at the rock, “Woah! The temperature is through the roof! Exactly five thousand six hundred degrees Celsius! Definitely don’t touch this.” she said, making sure she kept her distance from the rock, “Five thousand six hundred degrees Celsius…” you heard the Doctor mutter to herself, “That’s the temperature of the surface of the sun!” she exclaimed.

“You mean…” Ryan started.

“That’s a piece of the sun?” you asked as you looked behind you, watching as the crowd continued to shout and run.

“Something like that.” the Doctor replied, “However…” she scanned it again, “There’s something alive in there...”

“A-Alive?” Ryan asked with worry.

The Doctor nodded, stepping back, “I think in this universe… This is the day the sun explodes. And something is here to finish off the survivors-“

Another explosion occurred a few metres behind them. Another rock.

“I think that’s our cue to leave, Doc!” you exclaimed.

“But how?!” she questioned, “We have no idea where the door is!”

“Look, we’ll find it! But we can’t stay here. Whatever those creatures are in those rocks…” you replied.

“They definitely won’t be friendly.” Ryan added.  

The Doctor nodded, “Yes. You’re right. When we find the door, we all have to go through it together. It will only be open for a short amount of time and it could potentially be the last door. We really don’t want to be stuck here.” she said as people still continued to run by.

As the Doctor grabbed your hand, you heard both of the rocks crack. A loud hissing sound came from within them.

“Okay, Doctor. We really should run.” Ryan said.

“Wait.” the Doctor said.

“Doctor!” you exclaimed, trying to pull her away.

“I have to see what they are!” she said, curiosity getting the best of her.

“Doc-“ she leaned over a put a finger to your lips, before she looked back towards the rock she had previously scanned. You tried to ignore the people pushing past you as your eyes remained on the rock, not daring to blink.

“I have to see…” she said, before quickly scanning her surroundings, “There’s an office to our left. As soon as that creature shows itself… We run to the office. Okay?” her eyes landed back on the rock.

You nodded which caused the Doctor to drop her finger.

“Got it.” Ryan whispered.

“Please…” the Doctor said, “Please don’t let whatever it is touch you.” she said as the rock began to crack even more, “Because without a doubt, that creature will kill you. I might be able to survive it. But not you two.” her hand tightened in yours.

You squeezed her hand back in reassurance, “We won’t.” you said.

It felt like hours before finally, the rock opened. A bright yellow light emitted from it briefly before the creature came into view.

Screams came from the crowds as some people noticed.

“Wow…” the Doctor said.

You noticed that the creature looked similar to a Krillitane. But it looked more stone-like. Kind of like a gargoyle. Its wings were bright yellow and a lava-like liquid fell from its mouth.

“Run.” the Doctor said, pulling you away from the rocks.

As the three of you ran, a number of other rocks fell through the glass ceiling. You all did your best to dodge the falling rocks.

The temperature was definitely rising fast.

The three of you finally made it to the office, Ryan slammed the door once you were all in. He then quickly blocked it with a nearby table.

“So much for a normal day Christmas shopping!” he said, gasping for air as he leaned against the table.

“Are you both okay?” the Doctor asked.

Ryan nodded, “Yeah. Sure.”

“I’m okay. Are you?” you asked the blonde, placing your free hand on her cheek.

She leaned down to peck you on the lips, “I’m always okay. Now!” she said, stepping back, “Door, door, door. We need to find a doorway. I could lock onto one with the sonic and try to bring it here. That should work.”

You tried to blank out the shouts coming from the other side of the door, “Is that our only way?”

“Unless you want to go back out there and find the doorway.” the Doctor suggested.

“I’ll pass on that.” Ryan replied.

You nodded, “Me, too.”

“Locking onto a doorway and bringing it here… Yeah. I can do that.” the Doctor tried to assure herself as she started to mess around with the settings on her sonic. She then looked towards Ryan, “I’d step away from the door, Ryan. One of those creatures could still get to us. They can easily burn through that door.”

Ryan immediately moved to the opposite side of the room, as far away from the door as possible.

“I need to open that door.” the Doctor said.

“Why?!” you questioned.

“Just for a moment!” she exclaimed, “I need to get a scan of the building in order to locate the doorway!” she managed to move the table out of the way, her hand came to rest on the door handle, “I need ten seconds max.”

You came to stand just behind the Doctor.

Ryan remained on the other side of the room.

The Doctor opened the door without warning, she pointed the sonic out and immediately began to scan the building.

You glanced over the Doctor’s shoulder. There were still so many people running. Running away from those creatures. You could see at least three or four of them, lava dripping in their paths.

Your ears caught one voice through the many shouts.

It sounded like a young child. You looked towards the source and saw a young girl, no older than eight, stuck under a huge pile of debris.

“Doctor, please… We have to help her.” you said, putting a hand on the door to stop the blonde from shutting it.

The Doctor shook her head, “No. We can’t.”

“Wh-What?” you asked in shock, “B-But… you always help, you-“

“Not this time.” she said, “I risk losing you… And Ryan.” she continued.

“No, Doc-“ you were cut off by the Time Lord quickly pulling the door shut, catching you off guard, “Doctor, this isn’t you. You have to save her.”

“This is an alternate universe.” she said, “We’re not even supposed to be here!” she aimed the sonic towards the far corner of the room, “I have a lock on the doorway. Once I open it, it will only stay open for a short amount of time so we have to go through immediately.”

You grabbed the Doctor’s arm, “You are not leaving the child.”

“What do you want me to do, (Y/N)?!” she questioned, “Even if I do go out there and save her, she won’t make it! None of those people will!” anger which was laced with sadness showed within the Doctor’s voice, “This is an alternate universe! If it was our universe then yes! I would do something. But the sun is going to explode and those creatures are going to finish everyone off!”

You shook your head, “They deserve a chance.” you said, trying to fight back tears.

A bright light suddenly engulfed the room before it dimmed it down. There was now a ball of light hovering in the air in the corner of the room.

“That’s the door.” the Doctor said, walking towards it, “Everyone in. Now.”

Ryan made his way over to the Doctor.

You stood still.

“(Y/N)?” the Doctor questioned, looking straight at you, “Once this door closes, that’s it. There’s no going back.”

“They deserve a fighting chance, Doctor. That little girl can’t die like that. She at least needs to be with her parents.”

“(Y/N). Now.” the Doctor said, sternly, “Don’t argue.”

“We need to leave, (Y/N)! We can’t save everyone!” Ryan tried to reason with you.

“If you go out there, you are never travelling with me again. I can’t have you putting the rest of us in danger.” the Doctor threatened.

“I don’t care.” you replied.

Ryan walked closer towards the light, “Please, (Y/N), we have to-“ he was cut off as his feet caught on a bag on the floor, causing him to trip. He shouted as his hand reached for the nearest thing possible… The Doctor’s arm.

He fell, pulling the Doctor with him.

“(Y/N)!” the Doctor shouted as she disappeared within the light.

-x-

“Ryan!” the Doctor exclaimed, worried and annoyed.

“I’m sorry! I-I tripped!” he replied. He hated having dyspraxia.

“No, no, no!” she said, standing up. She looked around and realised that they were in the TARDIS.

“W-We have to go back!” Ryan stated, standing too, “We can’t leave her-“

The Doctor shook her head, quickly turning and running up the stairs towards the console, “It’s a one-way doorway! It won’t stay open for longer.” she tried to hold back tears from welling up in her eyes.

“How long does she have?!”

“Not long. Not long at all.” the blonde’s hands moved across the console, “Please, old girl! We have to go through that doorway and get (Y/N) back!”

The TARDIS groaned, ultimately refusing.

-x-

You immediately made your way towards the office door, opening it. You didn’t think twice before running towards the debris.

Your ears filled with the cries coming from the creatures and people alike.

But you focused on the only person who was trapped. The little girl.

You quickly knelt, hands coming up under the debris, “Stay calm!” you assured the girl, “I’ll get you out!”

-x-

“I know you can’t do it, old girl.” the Doctor said resting her hand on the console, “I know you can’t…” this time she allowed a tear to fall down her cheek.

“I’m sorry, Doc-“

The Doctor cut Ryan off, “It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.” she took a deep breath, her eyes looked down the stairs towards the doorway.

“Can’t you reverse it? So, we can go back through?”

She shook her head, “If I do that, I can’t reverse it back… If I manage to go through that doorway, I won’t be able to come back. And neither will (Y/N).”

-x-

It took a while, but you managed to get rid of the debris.

The small child quickly hugged you, “Thank you.” she whispered.

“Quick.” you said, “Go and find your parents. You’ll be okay.” you said as tears filled your eyes.

She nodded before sprinting away.

You watched her run, disappearing behind a corner. You then immediately stood and scanned the area for those creatures.

There was one lurking near the office door… But you had to make it back to the doorway. You had to…

-x-

“Five, four, three, t-two…” the Doctor said, her voice shaking, “…One.” a bright white light filled the console room.

-x-

You managed to throw a rock at the creature, distracting it. You jumped over it and towards the office door, you opened it as quick as possible before running into the room. Slamming the door shut, you turned towards the corner of the room…

-x-

As the white light faded, the Doctor and Ryan looked towards the doorway.

The doorway was gone.

“N-No…” the Doctor whispered, tears finally cascading down her cheeks.

“No. No way.” Ryan said in disbelief.

-x-

You sat in the corner of the room, your knees to your chest.

You hugged your legs tighter as you felt your breath catch in your throat.

You squeezed your eyes shut.

The sudden realisation of never seeing the Doctor again hit you hard. The woman you loved. The woman who you seemed to always argue with. You always appeared to be the complete opposite of a couple to everyone else. You always disagreed and fought…

But the love was still there. It was always there during the one year of being together. Even after fighting you always made up immediately. You would sit and talk for hours in the TARDIS library, cuddled up and apologising to one another.

You already missed everyone. Yaz, Ryan, Graham, the TARDIS… The Doctor.

You already missed seeing the Doctor’s eyes light up whenever she found a solution to a problem. Or whenever she saw something new and unusual.

And now that was gone.

That was gone.

-x-

“I…” the Doctor cleared her throat, “I can open the doorway.”

“You can?!” Ryan asked in shock, “Then do it!”

The Doctor walked down the stairs, “I can open the doorway… But it will be one-way.”

“Wh-What?”

“I can go there. But she can’t come here.”

Ryan shook his head, “No… There has to be another way.”

“I can’t leave her there to die alone, Ryan.”

“But you won’t be able to come back! That’s-“

“I have to go.” the Doctor said, “I have to.” she then placed a hand on a nearby wall, “I’m sorry, old girl. I’m sorry we have to part like this.”

The TARDIS hummed in disagreement.

“I have to go…” she said, leaning her forehead against the cool wall, “I’m sorry.”

The Doctor clearly heard the sadness within the TARDIS’ humming.

“Doctor…” Ryan said.

“I’m sorry, Ryan. I would never forgive myself if I left her there to die alone.” the Doctor aimed her sonic at the doorway.

-x-

The sounds of people screaming and shouting had died down. There was an occasional shuffle outside of the door, which you assumed to be a creature or two still lurking about.

It had become extremely hot in the room, you were starting to sweat.

You buried your face in your knees.

Did you regret saving that child?

No.

No, you didn’t.

Everyone deserves a fighting chance. Even if they are from an alternate universe.

Your thoughts remained on the Doctor as the temperature rose. You tried to focus on her face.

“(Y/N).”

On her uplifting personality.

“(Y/N).”

On her voice.

“(Y/N)!”

On her… wait… voice?

You quickly looked up and you were met with a familiar pair of beautiful eyes.

“D-Doctor?” you whispered.

You let your knees fall from your chest as you felt the Time Lord’s arms wrap around you. You immediately returned the hug and tightly wrapped your arms around her.

You tried to stop the sobs as she spoke, “I’m here, (Y/N). I’m here.”

“But-“

“I would never leave you.” she said, leaning back slightly. Both of her hands cupped your cheeks, “I would never leave you.” she then pulled you into a gentle yet deep kiss. Your arms instinctively moved up and tightened around her neck. She pulled away and leaned her forehead against yours, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I said that you could never travel with me again. You were right. You were right about saving that girl. It’s my fault we’re in this position.”

“I-It’s okay…” you whispered, pecking her on the lips once more.

The Doctor sighed, “We can’t get back, (Y/N). After the doorway closed, I could only open it again for a few seconds. But it was a one-way trip. There’s no other way back.”

You shook your head, “Wh-What? No. Please don’t tell me you came here just to-“

“Just to be with you.” she clarified, “I couldn’t leave you alone.” she took your hands in hers before kissing the back of them.

A sad smile appeared on you face, “Doctor…”

“I just couldn’t leave you here alone.”

You couldn’t stop yourself from pulling the blonde into a hug again, “Thank you, Doctor.” you paused, “A part of me is glad you’re here, Doctor.”

“Why?” she wondered.

“Because I wanted to tell you that I love you.”

A chuckle escaped the Time Lord, “I already knew that.”

You shook your head, “I haven’t told you that in weeks. I just want you to know that even though we fight a lot. I will always love you through all of that.”

The Doctor buried her face into your shoulder, “I will always love you, too, (Y/N).”

You sighed, “Who’s going to protect our universe, now?”

“I’m sure the universe will be fine without me.”

“I doubt that.” you laughed, “Will the old girl miss you?”

The Doctor nodded against your shoulder, “I’m sure she’ll miss the both of us.”

As if on cue…

A very familiar sound filled yours and the Doctor’s ears.

“No…” you whispered to yourself, “It can’t be…” you said as you pulled away from the Doctor.

The Doctor stood and looked around the room, “Come on, old girl.” she said as the sound continued to fade in and out.

“I thought you said that there was no way back.” you said.

“She shouldn’t be able to get here! It’s almost impossible!” the Doctor exclaimed, taking out her sonic. She aimed it towards the ceiling, “Come on, come on! Come to Daddy!”

After a moment of silence, you stood and spoke, “Don’t you mean ‘Mummy’?”

The Doctor looked over her shoulder at you, “I mean Daddy.” she winked.

You felt your face heat up before you reached up to wipe the tears from your cheeks.

“We really need you!” the Doctor exclaimed as she boosted the signal on her sonic.

Then there it was.

The familiar shape of the blue police box started to come into view near the office door.

“Thank you…” you whispered.

The Doctor then aimed the sonic towards the TARDIS, “You are brilliant!” she announced as the TARDIS landed, “Simply brilliant!” she pocketed the sonic and then turned to look at you. She unexpectedly wrapped her arms around your waist before picking you up and spinning you around in sheer happiness.

You put your arms around the blonde’s neck in response. As she put you back down on the ground, she placed a chaste kiss to your lips, “Lets go.” she simply said, “Back to where we belong.”

“Back where we belong.” you nodded as she moved to grab your hand.

“Me and you stick together.” the Doctor said, “Forever.”

You nodded as she pulled you towards the TARDIS.

You both placed your free hands on the door, “Thank you so much.” you said.

The Doctor nodded in agreement, “You are the perfect Tardis, old girl.”

The TARDIS hummed, she was definitely saying something along the lines of ‘I know’.

“Come on. Ryan must be freaking out.” the Doctor said.

Oh, yeah.

You sort of forgot about Ryan.

“That might be best.”

You both pushed the doors open together before stepping inside.