#thanksbrah

I don’t know why, there’s a sickness, growing, has grown, had been planted, planted in my stomach sickly, crawling into my brain. It re-lit with the embrace, of you, holding, has held, had been gripping, gripping tightly as to, showcase a need of not letting go. You pulled away, slowly from me, shaking, has shook, had been unsteady, unsteady with your eyes, burning into mine. I feel the fear there, gripping my stomach, I’m throwing, has thrown, had been shaking, shaking this fear every damn night since. I didn’t realize how I’m here fearing, has feared, had been holding, holding this shadow of a memory, so deep.

You reached towards me, holding more, grazing, has grazed, had been touching, touching my cheek with your fingers shaking. Is this my personal paranoia? Is this me, freaking has freaked, had been screaming, screaming internally over, nothing? To repaint, the five seconds, painting, has painted, had been placing, placing these puzzle pieces, in order again, again, again.

Was there a glint there? as your smile shook, having been there… has been there… had been here, here in my head, repeat, repeat, repeat.

grandma: obama thinks he will win again me: uhm he can't grandma: yes he can. he will run again me: uhm no I don't think you understand.. he actually can't because by the time the presidential election comes around again he will already have served the maximum number of years as president of the U.S. grandma: well michelle will run. but they are evil abortionists. obama is evil and muslim and is a communist

me: me: **what the fuck** me: ..... me: mima no obama is not a communist

me: what's wrong with being Muslim? grandma: oh. nothing. but they are just greedy and violent and evil terrorists me: uhm no that's only the extremists. and they're exactly like the Christian extremists. every religion has extremists. it's not all Muslims. grandma: ... grandma: yes it is me: no it's not grandma: well most of them me: no

nah it’s totally fine, i completely understand, i cry whenever people talk shit about me (yay for low self esteem and depression).

and no me and reem were just saying how you’re really vocal about social justice issues and stuff, and sometimes it’s a bit much for us, and cause caroline was saying how you needed to chill, but we didn’t say anything else