#thank!!!!!!

11. The other cultists. How did your Durge view them? Did they enjoy their following or did they dread being idolised?

esper was pretty numb to everything back in the day. as far as they were concerned, their feelings were ultimately irrelevant, since their divinity came less from who they were and more from What they were, as the scion, chosen, and demi-mortal avatar of bhaal. the way they feel about it is sort of how one could expect a cup to feel about its role -- firmly neutral and unthinking, only concerned with carrying the liquid inside, since that's the part fhat matters, not the vessel. it's not them being idolized -- it's the divinity inside of them. so they lead the congregation, offer up their blood to drink, do the best they can to lead a cult that is as good at honouring bhaal as it can be, and then spending any and all free time they have as far away from the unearned adullation as possible.

it never mattered to esper what they thought about being a living holy relic, and they were more than happy to repeat the dogma verbally to anyone who asked. but real talk they're functionally two different people when they're in charge of the cult; there's the Scion of Bhaal, and then there's esper/the dark urge, who is a deathstalker who did all the trials to become one fairly, who is more concerned with the temple's finances and security and sustainability of sacrifices than they are with being an object of worship. both parts are their job and they take both parts seriously. (they do find the latter a lot more enjoyable than the former, though, since it requires more skill and personality.)

as for the other cultists, esper went back and forth on regarding them as family and regarding them as a nuisance. they felt responsible for the bhaalists in the capacity of a leader and employed the bare minimum of care it took to keep them happy, but ultimately as long as the temple was orderly and the faithful did what they needed to with competence when called upon to do so, esper mostly let them do their own thing and didn't form personal attachments, seeing as family murder perpetrator trauma etc etc, bhaal taught them everyone is disposable etc etc. that said, the bhaalists generally knew esper's discipline was the discipline of bhaal, and testing esper's patience is a mistake nobody ever got away with making twice. they grew up in a menzoberranzan noble house and a lot of their formative baby memories are of people trying to kill them before giving up and sending them to the oubliette for existing, followed by a lifetime of sharing a body with the urge. esper didn't live in a world that allowed for forgiveness or unpunished fuckery, much less fondness or nurturing.

12. Durge gave a gold coin to a beggar once; why did they do it? Did this occur regularly?

i'll be completely real here, doing this would be pretty out of character for even post-tadpole esper. :,) they're a big fan of having money and stealing money and tricking people into giving them money (especially people who annoy or offend them) and they don't let go of it if they don't have something to gain. old habits die hard and the temple doesn't fund itself. esper was either paying the beggar for a service, giving away spare change, or attempting to appear normal in front of a crowd or the guard. they could also be impelled to do a kindness to someone just to spite sceleritas if he'd been particularly annoying lately.

i think this particular instance would have shocked sceleritas so much if esper was paying the beggar to look the other way after he noticed Suspicious Activity, as opposed to just killing him. but especially later in their tenure as durge, esper became numb and disillusioned with their lack of control, generally only bothering to kill for their tenday sacrifice.

13. Orin has her faithful group of changelings. Did your Durge have a similar 'personal guard' or task force at their beck and call?