#th: multi

and while hyunjae was the type who found every reason to stay indoors, some days, he had no objections with spending his day out. today was not one of those days. he imagined himself liking this more if he came to jeju on his own terms and time. not that he wasn't grateful for what seemed like a paid vacation, but lately, he'd rather spend his days in the studio, or somewhere quiet... maybe even dark so his senses weren't overwhelmed. there was just a lot going on around him, and the last thing he felt is relaxed -- which, in his opinion, is the point of him visiting the island in the first place.

if his little tantrum wasn't enough, he lost yejun and the group they were with doing those quick tour around the place. or maybe he's the lost kid and everyone's looking for him. from the looks of it though, he didn't seem lost or annoyed at all, sitting on one of the beach chairs in the shade, looking at the scenic view and watching boisterous crowds enjoying their activities, "people look at this view and expect you to come up with a summer anthem or something." he says mindlessly heaving a sigh, "would it be weird to come up with a break-up ballad instead?" an amuse smile etches at the corner of his lips, one that soon fades when he realizes he was not alone but in the presence of chae seungyong ( @vldseungyong​​ ). he pauses for a moment before he continues, “i... said that out loud, didn’t it?”

once upon a time, hyunjae wanted to be on stage too. it felt like a distant memory now that he spent high school performing, almost setting aside creating his own sound and style. at that time, he was fascinated with rapping and hiphop despite his unyielding support for girl groups. admittedly, his vocals where nowhere near examplary -- just enough for recording demos and singing hte right notes, but he liked to think he was a decent rapper enough to get on stage and write lyrics in a way he didn't think he could do.

thankfully, he had supportive friends and he was introduced into to a place that briefly became his world. the undergound was, in many ways, similar to the mainstream industry but it was a no-holds-barred type of place. hyunjae enjoyed that the most because that meant he didn't have to filter his language, nor the subjects that he wanted to talk about. it proved to be a double edged sword because it was a difficult adjustment when he had to make public-friendly commissions. as he watched his hyung on stage from the second floor, he still couldn't believe he worked for a refutable advertising company.

there was less burden being in a club when he didn't have to be in the crowd's line of sight, working behind the scenes was a much better path for him in the long run. he enjoyed it immensely because he can focus on producing music and helping performers find their sound. his pulled from his thoughts when someone bumps into him, making him turn his head to see who it was. he'd recognize that face anywhere, but he couldn't help but think this was not their usual scene.

one last thing off his list. just one more and he can head back home, have some dinner, take a long shower, and then sleep. it's been a long day and the last thing hyunjae needs is to spend more time than needed in a record shop buying a gift that he didn't really have to get until two weeks later. there are times when he hated wanting to get things done early, but the exhaustion was outweighed by the anxiety of leaving something undone. if he had let yejun bought this gift, he'd end up getting it the last minute anyway.

it was an old record store that he heard from one of his acquiantances. he's been there once about a year ago, but he's completely forgotten just how extensive their vinyl selections were. when he stepped inside he knew he had miscalculated the time he needed to look through the section he was directed to. he sighs as starts flipping, trying to brush off the annoyance of the store clerk having zero clue where everything is. he figured the owner would have hired someone passionate enough to know where things are.

he had too much on his plate to be here. he had many things to think and worry about than to just to make his way to his usual game of choice. hyunjae shouldn’t be here. he should be at home, with yejun. and yet he finds himself crawling back to the place that became his solace for a few hours. he recoils back to that child who cared very little for time and responsibilities. he tries to remember what it was like to be that way, too consumed by the desire to get the next level that he finds it tedious to have a moment, he gets the idea.

other than the gameplay, the music, and the people, arcades gave hyunjae a sense of belongingness. the colorful lights and the pixelated characters, all those things made him feel like part of a word that does and doesn’t exist. like he, too, could chose which universe to live in. he feels himself regress already, searching every character for the childhood that perhaps he longed for. and as he played his way after work hours, he finally beats the last level. he didn’t think he'd be here able to finish this one after trying it out for days.

hyunjae feels more at ease now that he's crossed one more of these games off his list. there’s just something about beating it, practice of sorts when he plays in the future. he must have been so immersed playing because when he looks around, there were a bunch of kids glaring at him and some older ones snickering. this is when shame or embarrassment is supposed to set in, but he feels none of it. even when he turns to see a rather familiar face sitting nearby.

when inspiration hits, hyunjae had to stop whatever it was that he's currently doing to at least have enough key notes to return to later. that's exactly what he did three hours into his typical work day when a string of notes gave him an idea for another song. he was playing around with a new sequencer when a weird glitch produced what he was now humming to. there wasn't any particular theme with the lyrics, but he set that aside to work on a melody at least -- give or take, he spent three hours on it and as it was rendering, he sends a quick text to nari ( @vldnari ) about meeting up for a business opportunity later.

beginnings were usually a blur, or maybe he was just too focused on this current project that the rest of his thoughts are being tuned out. hyunjae couldn't remember well if he met nari when he was participating at that tv competition, or did they bump into each other at a club? the later seemed likely, and he probably recognized her right away -- of course, he did, he knew girl groups well. he snickers and shakes his head, distracted for a second as he presses play to listen to what he has so far. and just like that time went by fast, now, hyunjae's steps were quicker than usual as he makes his way at the usual tented spot where they ate and bicker.

eunbi would usually be practicing with at this time, be her usual playful self and have a little fun, then back to being serious. as time went by, the practice room became less of a scary place than she initially though it was. there was a brief moment when she was only starting out as a trainee that she dreaded being in those rooms. the other girls made her fel welcomed, and they believed in her. and maybe it was because of it that she believed in herself too. the burden of needing to not just improve but evolve lifts from her shoulders. it didn’t happen right away, but looking back, without their help, she wouldn’t have kept going. and if there was one more person she owed having stuck through training, it was rose ( @vldrose ).

contrary to what people he went to high school and (briefly) college with, hyunjae is far from dramatic. he just happens to be very particular about doing things and going through with plans. there was a long list of things and habits that gets to his nerves, but then again, who doesn't? it just so happens that he was surrounded with things that truly didn't sit well with him, and he tries to put up with it or tolerate it as long as he could. most of the time, however, he swears people are really just trying him and he's forced to respond in a way that's not exactly nice. case and point, needing to spend a couple of hours to recharge from all the sun.

with his sunglasses on, hyunjae started to wander around mindlessly before he bumped into kim jinwoo ( @vldjinu​ ). too caught up with his thoughts to think of anything else but the piña colada at hand, but eventually his frustrations with the weather and the noise subsides and he shifts his attention to his bestfriend's brother, "you're not giving your sister a hard time, are you?" he asks as he narrows his eyes lightly, wearing inquisitive with great pride like he always does -- which may or may not come off as nosy to some.

hyunjae had to figure it out somehow because no one would do it for him. it was a push and pull in his mind, clear as mud for the last few weeks now. there was nothing wrong in producing music best fitted for girl groups, and he had no complaints about that. for a fan like himself, it was a dream come true to even be in the same team. he couldn't be stuck at a predictable loop this early in his career, could he? his routine made him stay sane, now it was hindering with him reaching his full potential. the simple remark, a comment about him 'producing for another girl group again' had planted seeds of doubt, made him stop everything, and have second thoughts about how he works.

there were no particular plan, but he did spend a few nights listening and (sort of) studying boy groups discography. right off the bat, he had a feeling he could put something together for twentytwenty -- or maybe he was just making assumptions since he liked their recent release. everything was working out because if he's not mistaken, one of their members was in that practice he room he just passed by. he figured since he's been stepping out of his comfort zone anyway, might as well go all out and make a move. "hey, uh, i'm hyunjae, you're gyumin ( @gyuminvld​​ ), right?" he didn't remember conversations being this difficult, or nerve-wracking. "do you uh have a minute?"