#tgpersonal

I’ve been diagnosed with social anxiety, and it extends beyond social relationships. This is because my anxiety comes from how much I care about how people perceive me and my work, so naturally it affects how I do my job as well. It’s so mentally taxing that I come home just wanting to hit my bed immediately so I can sleep and dream the problems away. 

I can’t. They’re in my dreams.

The situation I’m in feels like a constant snowball coming to get me. I find myself looking for anything that might help alleviate the pressure I feel, most of which comes from myself. Anything that can help my mental state whether it’s playing games, getting snacks, or taking a long undeserved nap.

One time, one of my officemates was going out to get coffee and asked me if I wanted anything. I told her I’d love an espresso, a clear signal that I needed something to get me through another day of work I didn’t want to do.

Apparently, the reason for my order was obvious even to the barista preparing my drink. My coffee came back with writing on the cup saying “The best way to get things done is to start,” and this hit me so hard I couldn’t help but laugh.

Laugh I did, but the writing on the cup of coffee was as significant reminder for me that the solution was simple, and that I just ind myself unable to or refusing to do it. It sounds so easy, but it honestly makes me want to cry.

For someone like me, who recently finds herself starting things out already drained, finding the energy and motivation to begin something is usually the most exhausting part about the entire process of getting things done. Maybe it is for you too.

Lately I've been receiving a lot of anon hate for it, though I have no idea why. I'd like to kindly ask the person (or people, if there's more than one doing this) to please stop. It seems silly to me; if you don't like my things, why are you on my blog? I don't force anyone to follow me, so don't hesitate to simply block me. I won't mind as long as you're the cruel anons and not my friends.