#tgml

Love and Kisses,

Chapter 3: La La Land 

Kevin sat there. His head in his hands. He fucked everything up. He barely chased after the boy. He didn't run down the road, or even got on his bike. He just got to the end of the hall and shouted out his name. It's ok. He told himself. That dork doesn't deserve me. Kevin leaned against the wall and slid to the floor as his face became wet with tears.

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Double Dee entered the busy cafeteria with his friends on either side of him. He was nervous. Normally, they ate outside, where it wasn't so busy, on a blanket that Edd washed, and pressed himself daily. Sometimes his OCD drove the other boys mad, but they accepted it was a part of him. Double Dee was taking medications for it, and sure it was more manageable, but there were some habits that were hard to break. And right now, Double Dee was resisting the urge to turn around and run screaming in the opposite direction.

"Boys, I'm sure that this is all just a cruel joke. Why do we not make ourselves sparse, and resume our nutritious meals over at our usual tree?" Eddy rolled his eyes at his friend.

"C'mon, you know damn well that this ain't no joke." He proceeded to push his friend in the direction of the table they were to sit at. "You have been eyeballing this guy all year. Now grow a pair and actually talk to the asshole."

Double Dee resisted the urge to correct Eddy's horrible grammar, but stopped short only whispering out, "language." Eddy heard him but ignored the retort. Ed was bouncing happily in the same direction even going as far as to say loudly, "look guys, they saved us a seat!" Eddward looked up, and sure enough, there were three open seats where the football players usually sat. Kevin was beaming proudly, Nazz was munching on a carrot stick, and Nat… well, Nat was being his usual self. He was standing on the table, telling a rather provocative story in excruciating detail, only to receive a warning from one of the teachers overseeing the cafeteria. The teal haired boy laughed before sitting down across from Kevin.

Kevin looked up and saw the three Edds walking towards them. "Over here!" He called out happily. The unwanted attention as heads turned to see who the most popular boy in school was calling to caused Edd to blush a deep red. The three boys quickly joined the table at Edd's insistence as Eddy laughed loudly. "What's got you so flustered Sockhead?" He joked. Only to earn a disapproving elbow in the side. Ed bounced happily and sat next to Nazz, Eddy, sat at the end of the table, leaving only one empty seat. And that was the one right next to Kevin. Edd's face only grew redder as he took his seat. "Gr… greetings Kevin. Thank you for inviting us."

Kevin grinned back at the dork. "Hey dude, it's no problem really. I've been wanting to hang more with you." He appeared like he was going to say more, however, he choked back his words as a ferocious blush overcame his face. Eddy noticed this, and a plan started to come together in his head. He knew then without a shadow of a doubt, that Edd wasn't the only one who kept his feelings quiet. "Hey Shovelchin, didn't you fail the last English test?" He inquired.

Kevin's face flushed with anger. "Yeah? What's it to you blockhead?" He was starting to rise but felt a hand on his shoulder. "If you need assistance with your English homework, I would be more than happy to offer my assistance." Double Dee stated without hesitation. He didn't want there to be a fight, and he also abhorred the idea of anyone doing poorly in school. It would also get Edd out of trying to do scams with Eddy, and he would be able to spend time with the object of his affections.

Kevin contemplated for a moment before receiving a hard kick in the shin from across the table. He yelped, startling the other attendees, but when he looked at the source, Aqua-eyes moved back and forth between the red-head, and his favorite dork. He got the hint. "Really?" He almost shouted. "That would be rad! Wanna chill after school?" Edd blushed but nodded his head. "Choice. I can take you. Wanna study at my place or yours?"

Double Dee didn't want to go home, only to be greeted by nobody there. Albeit, his parents were sometimes home, they worked very demanding jobs. And being alone was taxing. "Yours will more than likely suffice." He concluded. Suddenly, Nazz jumped from the table and ran out of the cafeteria. Nathan held up his hand. "I got this." and followed her out.

The smart boy looked towards the exit the two used curiously. "Oh dear, I do hope she is not coming down with something." He subconsciously started wiping the table in front of him with a napkin. He felt the need to grab the Lysol that he kept in his bag and douse the entire table.

Kevin noticed the worry in Edd's eyes and reached for his hand. "Nah dude, I'm sure it was just something she ate. She didn't look sick at all." He blushed when he noticed he was still holding Double Dee's hand. He quickly released it and looked around awkwardly. "So, ever been on a cycle before?"

Eddy and Ed, burst into laughter as Edd paled. "No Kevin, AI have never been on one of those death traps, and nor will I ever." It wasn't that he was worried about Kevin's abilities, he was more concerned with the other drivers who did not pay any attention. He wished that they never existed. However, they do.

"Dude, it's only for like 10 minutes. It'd be a lot faster than walking home. and I promise not to get onto any busy roads or anything. We'll take the scenic route." Kevin argued.

Edd sighed. "I had already planned on receiving a ride from Eddy. It would be rude…"

"Yeah, about that," The shortest boy started, "Me and Ed were going to go see a movie after school." Edd felt a small pang in his chest. They had planned to do something without him. It wasn't the first time, but they never even consulted him. Eddy could read his friend easily. "Hey, don't be like that." He teasingly pulled on his friend's beanie. Not enough to pull it off, but enough to get Edd's attention. "You wouldn't like the movie anyway, 'sides, you've been way to busy prepping for college."

Edd didn't feel any better, he felt like he was being left behind. It hit him that soon, they would no longer be together like this. "I… I understand Eddy." He turned to Kevin, not looking him in the eyes, for fear of tears escaping his cobalt eyes. "Um, Kevin, I believe, I will accept that offer." He quickly wiped his face before looking the red-haired boy squarely in his forest green eyes. "However, you will not go above the posted speed limit." Before he lost his nerve, he quickly stood and left the cafeteria behind him. His eyes stinging, and his heart breaking.

Eddy, Ed, and Kevin watched as the lanky boy walked away. "Ya' know, you're not fooling us." Eddy poked Kevin with his fork earning a glare.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kevin was rubbing his arm where he almost got skewered.

Eddy sighed, and his expression softened. "Just don't hurt him Shovelchin." The red head was shocked but listened anyway. "Edd, he, well, he's tough, but he wears his heart on his sleeve." He looked Kevin in the eyes. "So, if you hurt him, don't think I wouldn't kill you in a heartbeat."

Kevin laughed at the statement. Not cruelly, just ironically. "Dude, you don't have to worry about that from me." He put his fist out across the table. "That's a promise." Eddy eyed the closed fist and smiled. "Deal." He pounded the fist with his own. The promise made between the two boys.

Ed just watched on smiling happy that everything was coming together. "Everybody is going to live happily ever after." He cried out happily.

There Goes My Life Chapter 1: What Makes You Beautiful

Kevin sighed into his hands as he contemplated his latest predicament. He just couldn't believe it. Just yesterday, his life was looking up. He told the one he had strong feelings for how he felt, just to have those feelings reciprocated, and he came out to his family who were not surprised. But now, he finds out that the night he had lost his virginity, ended up being the night his entire life was ruined. In order to fully understand the story, perhaps we should travel back to the very beginning…

It started the night Kevin Barr was born. Ok, maybe not that far in the beginning. Lets try this again. It all started when the ginger haired jock, caught himself eyeballing a particular sock-headed dork.

Kevin stared at the trio of boys who were talking animatedly to each other. More than likely working on another scam. Kevin rolled his eyes at the thought. They're in high school now. Can't they quit with all that childish shit? But Kevin knew that the dork wearing the beanie with two stripes running along it was different. He's matured. Kevin thought to himself, but then shook his head, no, he's always been the more level-headed of the dorks.

Kevin was stirred from his musings when a hand flashed in front of his eyes. "Hello? Earth to Kevin." The jock turned his attention to the teal haired boy trying to get his attention who was looking at him with annoyance. "Look, if you want Double Delicious over there, why don't you go get him?"

The red head shook his head. "Seriously, dude!" He playfully socked his friend in the arm. "What makes you think I like him huh?" Nat just cocked his head to the side giving Kevin his best - you've got to be shitting me - look. "You've been undressing that tall drink of water with your eyes every time you see him. And don't you dare try to deny it."

But deny it Kevin did. It's not like he was embarrassed, he just couldn't believe how much his feelings for the smartest dork had grown. He had finally come to terms with his bisexuality, but he was still essentially in the closet. Nazz placed her hand on Kevin's shoulder as he looked down defeated. "Dude, it's ok, really." She flashed him a sad smile, knowing fully well the struggle he was enduring within himself. "Why don't you start by asking him to sit with us at lunch?" He just shook his head at the suggestion. "Chickenshit," she muttered before looking in the boy's direction. "Hey Double Dee!" She shouted across the hall. Her voice clearly catching everybody's attention.

Eddward looked around as if there was a possibility that there was another person in the school with the same nickname. Ed and Eddy just smiled at him and shoved him towards the source of the voice. He walked across the hall sheepishly, a blush threatening his cheeks. "Y…yes Nazz?" he stuttered out.

The short girl put her arm around Edd's waist and pulled him into the circle. "We, well Kevin, was wondering if you would like to join us for lunch today?" Double Dee's jaw fell to the floor as Nat came around his other side resting his head on the boy's shoulder. "Don't worry, we won't eat you alive." He wiggled his eyes suggestively, "Not unless you would like me too."

Edd stepped backward, feeling like a minnow among sharks. "I thank you all for the invitation, but would you please allow me the morning to consider the option?" His hands wringing at his front, obviously nervous. "I have already made plans with Ed and Eddy and need to consult with them first to deem if it would be appropriate."

This time Kevin spoke up. "Dude, if you don't want to sit with us, that's cool. I was just," Kevin stopped himself and coughed, "I mean, we were wondering. That's all." Not wanting to mess things up, He backtracked, and immediately regretted his next words. "Bring the other dorks, if you're really worried about it." The distaste was evident on the jock's face.

The sudden outburst was not lost on the smart boy. "Kev…Kevin, may I have a word with you privately?" He inquired nervously. The shock on Kevin's face was noticed by the perceptive teen. "Um, sure." The two walked down the hall side by side with four pairs of eyes eyeing them quizzically.

Kevin had his hands behind his head as they walked side by side. "What you wanna talk about?" He asked curiously. Edd had a thoughtful look on his face before answering. "Well Kevin," he started, "Why me?" He should have known that the question was going to come. That's what he liked about him. Not that Kevin was going to admit that outright.

"I was just wanting to hang with you more." A half-truth was better than no truth. "Besides, I want to unwrap the enigma that is Eddward Vincent." He was watching his dork carefully for a reaction and smiled when he saw the blush further redden on his adorkable face.

"Truthfully, Kevin, there is not a whole lot to me. I am exactly who I appear to be." Kevin sped up a little and stopped in front of Edd. "No, ya see? You're wrong." He looked Double-Dee straight into his eyes and smiled. "You don't even know just how awesome you are."

Edd broke the intense gaze and looked down, smiling. "Thank you for the sentiment Kevin, I genuinely appreciate it. But while I am smart and perceptive, I am nothing special." Blue eyes met green as he looked up, "I will, however, accept your invitation to lunch."

Kevin's green eyes sparkled happily, "Cool. Awesome!" He stated excited. "And bring the other dorks too!" He hugged Double Dee happily. "I'll see you then!" He let the confused boy go and ran off in the other direction. Double Dee may not have seen it, but once Kevin turned the corner, he punched the air in success.

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Eddward held his man's hand while the bombshell was dropped on him. Hearing the news was one thing. However, once his he processed the information that was just given to him, he dropped the hand that was within his own. It was too much. He couldn't take on this responsibility. He apologized to the boy in front of him and ran off. His name being shouted as distance was put between the two.

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Eddward was only half listening to his friends as they discussed their plans for the weekend. "Eddy," Ed started, "can't we just stay home and watch the movie I just got?" But Eddy only smiled like a villain in one of those said movies. He proceeds to discuss his latest "scam" that will no doubt include Double Dee and force him to build some contraption. It will fail. That is guaranteed.

Frankly, Eddward was getting fed up with the scams. He had outgrown them. He didn't realize it, but he had started to distance himself from his friends. The smartest of the three was prepping for college. He had planned to graduate early and needed to apply for all the scholarships he could. Ed and Eddy however, understood this. Despite being childish, they knew how smart their friend was and wished him well in his studies. None of Eddy's scams worked quite as well without him, his frustration showed.

"Hey Sockhead, you gonna help with the latest scam this time?" Eddward just shook his head not taking his nose out of the book in his hands. However, he did flash a subtle glance to a trio of friends talking quietly amongst themselves. He noticed that a certain red head was staring in their direction. He couldn't make out his expression though. He glanced back down as Nat stood in between the two. "Hey lover boy, stop staring at Shovelchin." Eddy snatched the book away from Double-Dee.

"What is it that makes you believe I was staring?" Eddward's hands moved to his hips. He was slightly annoyed at having his book confiscated.

Eddy just laughed tossing the book to Ed to put back in the locker. "'Cause you don't hide it very good."

"Very well." Eddward corrected. However, Eddy didn't catch it and thought Eddward was affirming his accusation. "How long are you going to stay in the closet buddy? If you're gay, then you're gay. But does it have to be for him?" He asked concerned.

Double Dee sighed deeply and was about to answer when a voice carried across the hall. "Hey Double Dee!" He looked around briefly making eyes with Nazz, the source of the voice. He turned back to his friends. "Even if I thought it would make a difference, gentlemen, there is no point in me 'coming out' if pretty much everybody knows." He glanced towards the source of his attraction, "it matters not. my feelings will never be reciprocated."

Eddy just shrugged and pushed his dork towards the call. "Well, get over there and see what they want."

The nervous boy walked towards the popular trio, a blush spreading across his cheeks like wildfire. "Y…yes Nazz?" Nazz was beaming proudly as she put her arm around Edd's waist. "We, well Kevin, was wondering if you would like to join us for lunch today?" Her voice threatening to go into a higher pitch. She was excited about something, but Double Dee could not perceive what it could possibly be. He immediately grew more nervous.

Nathan apparently sensed Eddward's apprehension. "Don't worry, we won't eat you alive." The dork saw the Cheshire cat grin and flirtatious eyebrow wiggle. "Not unless you would like me too."

This seemed to push the blue-eyed boy over the breaking point. He stepped back ready to run. "I thank you all for the invitation, but would you please allow me the morning to consider the option?" Eddward clasped his hands in front of him. "I have already made plans with Ed and Eddy and need to consult with them first to deem if it would be appropriate."

Edd's eyes remained downcast. He did not catch the look that flashed across Kevin's face. "Dude, if you don't want to sit with us, that's cool. I was just," Kevin coughed, "I mean, we were wondering. That's all." Edd watched the green-eyed boy for a moment, adoring the way his brain tried to calculate a solution. "Bring the other dorks, if you're really worried about it."

It was plain to the ever-astute nerd just how much Kevin hated his own idea, and it gave Eddward pause. His former bully seemed almost desperate to have Eddward join him. Obviously, this warranted suspicion. "Kev…Kevin, may I have a word with you privately?" He stuttered out. Kevin looked up shocked. Cobalt eyes meeting forest green. Eddward could get lost in those eyes. They reminded him of emeralds and their many facets. Kevin blinked away momentarily answering, "Um, sure."

They walked away down the hall. Eddward was none too concerned with time. This was his free period after all, He was only planning to spend it at the library. Kevin on the other hand debated whether to play hooky. Kevin was the first to break the silence. "So, what you wanna talk about?" He asked nonchalantly. His hands behind his head as they walked, causing Eddward to cringe inwardly, that position is terrible for posture.

Edd thought for a moment and answered cautiously, "Well Kevin," he started, "Why me?" He watched as Kevin's eyes reflected his emotions. First was shock, but then they softened to kindness mirroring his smile. "I was just wanting to hang with you more," Kevin shrugged nonchalantly, "besides, I want to unwrap the enigma that is Eddward Vincent."

That did it. Eddward looked down trying to hide the ever-growing blush threatening to cover his entire face. "Truthfully, Kevin, there is not a whole lot to me. I am exactly who I appear to be." Kevin stepped in front of Eddward. Making the dork meet his gaze once more. "No, ya see? You're wrong." Edd felt his face heat up. It wasn't very often someone told him he was wrong, and he didn't know if he liked it. ""You don't even know just how awesome you are." Kevin's voice interrupted his thoughts. It was said in no more than a whisper.

Double Dee felt his knees start to buckle but righted himself last minute and tore his gaze away from Kevin's intense stare. "Thank you for the sentiment Kevin, I genuinely appreciate it. But while I am smart and perceptive, I am nothing special." Eddward looked back up at his crush. "I will, however, accept your invitation to lunch."

Kevin's grin grew wide as he exclaimed, "Cool. Awesome!" He was visibly happy. "And bring the other dorks too!" Double Dee was surprised to feel two strong arms embrace him happily. Kevin let go and started to walk towards his class shouting back at Double Dee. "I'll see you then!" Eddward stood there dumbfounded over what had just occurred waving towards Kevin's back.

He could still feel the warmth from where Kevin embraced him, when he felt a different set of arms grab him around his middle lifting him up. "Ed please put me down this instant." Eddward deadpanned. Eddy came and leaned against his friend, "So we're sitting with the popular kids?"

Double Dee smiled. "Yes Eddy, we have been invited to eat lunch with them." He stuck his finger in the air. "However, I know what you must be thinking, and no, this is not something you will call a date. We were all invited."