#tftu

These woods were like a second home to me. When I was a kid I had played here: elaborate games of make-believe, tag, hide and seek. I hid high up in the trees until Holly had learned to look up, then I hid down low in hollow logs and behind bushes. There were benefits to being smaller back then. As I got older, this place became an escape. When school got too hard, when drama inevitably seeped into my social life, when I just didn't feel like dealing with the real world for whatever reason I came to the woods.

Lately these woods had taken on a new purpose. This year Holly and I started college. She attended mostly Art classes up on the surface with the occasional Astrology class down below, while I stayed here in the Underworld training to be a Healer. Since our paths rarely crossed anymore we had implemented a new tradition: every Thursday we'd meet at our usual spot in the woods just to hang out and catch up.

Well, today was Thursday and I was waiting for Holly. Alone. By myself. Very, very bored.

Usually when I came here I was alone, so it shouldn't have been a big deal, but for some reason whenever I'm waiting for something or someone, it's like there's this switch in my brain. I get, I dunno, antsy I guess. First I tried writing in my journal. No dice. Then I tried studying but after reading the same sentence five times and still not understanding any of if I gave up on that too.

In the end I sprawled there restlessly pulling up blades of grass and thumping my wing, tiny whirlwinds whipping through the air around me. High above me grey clouds swirled and shifted in the stained glass ceiling of Woodhaerst. It'd been like that for the past week and I found myself wondering what the weather was like on the surface. Were there storms? Was that what I was looking at? I'd have to pick Holly's brain about it when she got here.

If she got here. Seriously, where was she?

Holly ran on Holly time, and therefore was usually late, but this was getting to be a bit much, even for her. She should've been there by now, what was taking her so long?

I glanced at my watch for what felt like the fiftieth time and considered calling her but just as the thought had entered my mind a familiar head of mousy waves weaved into the clearing holding a pizza box and looking very pleased with herself.

"I was wondering what was taking you so long, I almost called the Authority!" I joked, taking the pizza box from her. "How awkward would that have been, could you imagine? 'Yes sir or ma'am, my best friend's been kidnapped! She's got big hair and she's probably wearing something really weird oh wait nevermind she got pizza!'"

"Um, excuse you, my clothes are not weird," Holly said tossing me a bottle of juice from her bag. She pulled out a beer for herself and snagged a slice of pizza. "The 90s grunge look is in Mr. 'I own a different plain shirt for every day of the week.'"

"Sure, whatever you say."

An olive flew at me at the speed of light and in a moment of sheer brilliance and blinding agility I tried to catch it in my mouth only to have it bounce off my nose.

"Nice," Holly said, concealing a smirk. "Solid effort, I score it eight out of ten."

"Hahaha, you're so funny," I said it sarcastically, but I also kind of meant it... "Anyway, thanks for the pizza, any special occasion?"

"Kinda sorta, not really, but yes-ish." She seemed to be in a very good mood as she took a bite and washed it down with some beer. "I've just had a very good week and wanted to celebrate. Also," she glanced up at me, a mischievous twinkle in her eye, "I invited someone to join us, so there's that too. Meaning don't eat all the pizza."

I looked at her, curious. "Who?"

She watched me drawing out the silence with another bite of pizza. Drama queen. Finally she cleared her throat only to shake her head, smiling impishly as she said, "It's a secret. You'll love it though. Cross my heart and all that jazz."

Rolling my eyes I finished off my first slice of pizza and reached for another. "Oh, hey, so we gave our first shots this week." Holly's eyebrows shot up with interest and I told her the whole story. John had gone first and broken off two needles in this poor lady's arm. By that point I'd pretty much already determined I was going to fail miserably, but in the end not only did I not break any needles, but I got the vein on the first try.

I tried to downplay my excitement, but it was a huge accomplishment for me, and by the time I was finished telling the story I was talking at about a million miles a second, my arms flailing wildly.

"Seriously?!" Holly said, eyes wide and smiling brightly. She was practically bouncing with excitement, which only fed my own. "Congratulations! Oh my god, see, we have so many reasons to celebrate today!" She reached over and gave me a quick hug with another "Good job!"

Holly was an aggressively cheerful kind of person, and it wasn't fake with her either. Every tiny accomplishment deserved celebration, and if she was excited about something she was really excited. She was an all or nothing kind of happy; I always loved that about her.

"Thanks, Holls," I said beaming. "So, enough about me, why was your week so good?"

She spoke animatedly about a project she was working on, a sculpture. On the one hand she was loving it. On the other hand, she hated it.

She scooched closer to me and I wrapped one of my wings around her as she showed me pictures of the sculpture on her phone. Pictures of the sculpture turned into pictures of her neighbor's dog, which turned into me eagerly explaining how my mom had a patient come in with their pet rabbit last Tuesday, which turned into the two of us talking about my mom and so on and so forth. The word vomit spilled as it usually did with Holly, and time passed quickly without either of us noticing.

Suddenly a small chime sounded, and Holly glanced down at her phone and then got up with a spring in her step. "Our guest is here!" she sang.

"Oh, okay."

"I'm gonna go get them, wait here!" And with that she took off at a light jog, her frizzy hair bouncing around her like her own private cloud.

And just like that I was playing the waiting game again.

I got up to stretch my legs, and my eyes landed on the small mess I'd made. Textbooks spilled out of my bag, a few different colored pens sat in the grass next to my notebook. Crumpled up pieces of paper scattered the indent in the grass where me and Holly had sat. A part of me thought I should clean it up before our guest arrived, but an even bigger part of me said Whatever, I'll get to it when I get to it.

I circled the clearing lost in my own thoughts until a whistle echoed through the woods behind me. I turned to see Holly wandering through the tree trunks, smiling at me knowingly. She was being followed closely by a small figure with sapphire eyes and short golden curls. Alice.

I stared blankly for a moment, heat rising in my cheeks, before I caught myself and went to meet them.

"Hi, Cole," Alice said, waving cheerfully.

"Alice, hey. I didn't know you were coming."

"Yeah, neither did I! Holly came by the shop earlier and asked if I wanted to come by and I mean, I did—I really did!—but I still had so much left to do, you know, so I didn't think I—but anyway," she laughed brightly waving off her rambling, and I found myself smiling bigger than was probably necessary. "I got finished early! So here I am."

"Good, fantastic! Wow, no I'm really glad you could make it! I was just hanging out here, uh, with Holly. But not with Holly, just—" I laughed nervously. Shut up, Cole. What are you doing? Stop. "Oh, are you hungry? We've got pizza!"

Alice nodded her head quickly, a small giggle escaping her lips, and I turned around. My eyes landed briefly on Holly, and I winced. She frowned sympathetically, but her eyes sparkled with amusement.

Alice followed me to our messy little spot in the clearing where the pizza was, and I mentally kicked myself for not picking it up when I had the chance.

"This place really is in the middle of nowhere isn't it," she observed, taking a slice of pizza.

"Yep," Holly said. "It's our own little get-away."

"Does anyone else ever come down here?"

I shrugged, "Besides us, not really."

"This place is so cool though," she said, sitting down next to me.

I tried to push down the nervous jitters caused by her close proximity and laughed. "Isn't it? I love this place."

Holly sat across from us giving us a sly look. I frowned at her. Really not helping, Holls.

"So, Alice," I said tearing my attention away from Holly. "How was work?" I flinched. Great, now I was making small-talk.

"It was okay," she said cheerfully. "Kinda busy but I'm not going to have to worry about that anymore since today was my last day."

"Last day? Did you quit?" Holly asked.

"Something like that," Alice replied. "It was only temporary though."

"Oh." I watched her scarf down her pizza. It was a strange and kind of vague thing to say but then again she was always saying strange and kind of vague things. It was like one minute she was sharing too much and the next nothing at all.

Either way it wasn't very helpful for continuing the conversation, and I found myself at a loss for words. I looked up at Holly hoping she had something, but she just shrugged.

Suddenly Alice stood up and brushed her hands off on her pants. "Anyway thanks for the pizza, guys, but I don't want to waste a perfectly good opportunity." Her eyes fell on me, a sudden noticeable shift in her behavior, her usual shimmer gone. "Let's get this over with."

Holly and I shared a curious look and she asked, "Get what over with?"

"Glad you asked! Azarias, stand up."

I shot up involuntarily. A cold lump settled in my stomach as I realized what just happened.

Holly slowly got to her feet too watching at me with a questioning look in her eyes. I didn't know what to tell her. My mind was still reeling trying to piece together the situation myself.

But Alice just smiled coolly. "Azarias, touch your nose."

Unable to resist the command, my finger reached up and landed on the tip of my nose. I broke in a cold sweat and ice ran through my veins.

Holly still stared at me. "Cole?"

I dropped my hand and watched as Alice's entire demeanor changed. Her once glittering eyes now held a cruel stare. A smirk played at her lips. My voice trembled when I spoke. "Where did you hear that name?"

She smiled at me, a predator toying with her prey. Instead of answering she said "Azarias, kill Holly."

Alarm flashed in Holly's eyes. "What the hell—" but she was abruptly cut off as my hands wrapped themselves tightly around her neck.

She stumbled back and fell to the ground in an attempt to get away and I went down with her watching helplessly as my body attacked her.

"Holly, fight back!" I begged verging on hysterical. "I don't have control, this isn't me! Please, fight back! Make me stop!"

Understanding crossed Holly's face and she threw her weight to the side knocking me off of her. My fingers tangled themselves in her hair yanking her hard to the ground as she tried to get up. I wrapped my hands back around her neck, they felt numb and cold, no longer mine, and my body crawled back on top of her, finding a better purchase than before. She punched and scratch drawing dark red lines on my arms with her nails and I gasped with pain but my body didn't even flinch. Her knee came up slamming into my back knocking the air out of my lungs. I pitched forward, but my body was otherwise unresponsive.

Her face went from red to purple, her voice squeaked as she tried to draw in breath past my hands.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! God I'm so sorry!" I sobbed over and over again.

"Ugh, this is taking too long. Azarias, use one of those books and just bash her head in."

My hands unwrapped themselves from Holly's neck and went for the biggest textbook in the pile. Given a brief reprieve Holly sputtered and coughed. Fear and adrenaline gave her new strength and she tried to push me away, but my knees stayed pinned around her waist anchoring me to her.

Invisible strings brought my hands up high above my head and Holly screamed, her fists pounding into my chest. I tried to stop myself, I fought with everything I had not to follow the command, but a blinding pain shot through my head and I lost my concentration. The book swung down with all my strength and connected with a horrifying thud. I fought against it again and more pain ricocheted through my brain. I felt nauseous and something warm trickled down my upper lip. My arms brought it back up and blood gushed from Holly's ruined nose. My heart pounded in time with Holly's fists as she fought to get me off of her. Tears streamed from both our eyes. The book swung down again.

Thud. Holly's fists swayed unsteadily.

Thud. Holly stopped moving.

Thud, thud, thud.

Thud.

Jason knew with the festival happening tonight, the floor would be empty aside from him and his small guard. Everyone would be too busy getting ready and anyone who did happen to be up and about probably wouldn't care if the Queen's pet was running around anyway.

Tonight was perfect, it would work. It had to work.

So he waited and he watched as the minutes ticked by, growing more and more anxious as his window to act got smaller. Unable to restrain himself, he began pacing. It should have started working by now right? Maybe they didn't drink enough? Maybe their immune systems were too strong? Maybe it'd gone bad? Did sleeping potions have an expiration date?!

No, it would work.

A few minutes and two sore bitten-down nail beds later, one of the guards yawned and Jason perked up.

Don't get your hopes up. Don't get your hopes up. People yawn for any number of things, maybe she's just bored.

But when a second guard began dropping a heavy-lidded gaze to the floor, it was hard not to get excited. The sleeping potion is working.

Nearly five agonizing minutes later all three guards were slouched in their chairs, snoozing softly.

He watched them cautiously for a moment before whispering, "Psst, I gotta take a leak." Nothing. He started tiptoeing towards the door picking up his voice as he said, "Oh shit, Elena's taking off her shirt! Look, look, look!" The guards continued to sleep. At the door he looked back and whistled sharp and loud, but the guards slept on. Then with a triumphant look in his eye, he opened the door and said, "Eat shit and die, motherfuckers!" And with a final obscene hand gesture, he darted out into the hallway.

He sprinted off, his bare feet slapping the tile, and turned into the inlet where the staircase was. He yanked hard on the door and his heart stopped. Locked.

No.

It wasn't supposed to be locked. It was never locked! Why would it be locked now? He pulled on the door a few more times then, without thinking, he kicked it angrily as hard as he could then dropped to the ground stifling a yelp and holding his foot.

Just then a sound caught his attention. A pair of heels clacking on tile in a familiar patterned step he'd come to fear.

No, no, no.

Ignoring the pain in his toes he half-ran, half-limped to the end of the inlet, listening carefully. The steps were coming from the left side of the hallway, so he started running down the right. He reached the end of the hall and went right again running as fast as his legs would take him. He almost ran past another staircase inlet, but caught himself at last minute and darted inside to try the door. Locked.

Far off he could hear the footsteps still, but they were faster now, perhaps they'd discovered he wasn't in his room.

He ducked back out into the hallway and sprinted off again, his kicked toes howled in protest, his lungs and chest felt like they were going to burst. At the end of that hallway was another hallway, on one end of that another staircase inlet and on the other a pair of windows. He ran to the inlet praying to any god that would listen for the door to be unlocked, but the gods had stopped listening to him years ago.

Locked.

Fear and stress were eating away at him, his heart pounding painfully in his chest. He had to get out of here, this had to work!

Desperate for an escape, he looked back down the hallway at the windows. In a last ditch effort he thought, I'll climb, and sprinted to them.

Jason tried the first window and it swung open easily. Hope sprang up in his chest, and he allowed himself a moment to look down, but immediately regretted it. He'd never been afraid of heights, but then again up until last year he could fly.

He pushed down his fear and looked out to the side of the building. There was a balcony on the floor below him two rooms over. A small decorative ledge just below the window stuck out far enough that he could fit the balls of his feet and a few decorative stones spaced along the wall just above his head. He could probably shuffle along the side of the wall on the ledge and use the stones as handholds until he got to the balcony, then hopefully not break his legs trying to get down to it. Hopefully.

Wow, that's a real shit plan, Jason, he thought to himself, but the approaching footsteps forced him to act fast so he took a deep breath and sat on the window sill pulling his legs over and finding purchase on the small ledge, then carefully pulled himself out gripping the decorative stones. Updrafts buffeted the side of the building disturbing his balance and whipping his hair around his face. His shaky legs and sweaty hands didn't help the matter.

He'd made it out just a few feet away from the balcony when a willowy blonde figure leaned out the window and said, "Azarias, halt."

A disappointed sob bubbled up and he stopped, pressing his forehead against to cool stone to steady himself.

She gazed at him the way a mother would upon catching her child stealing cookies: stern, but amused. "Azarias, come here this instant."

The command lent him sturdier nerves and less shaky legs as he made his way back to the open window. The Queen held her hands out for support and he took them, but she didn't lead him back through the window. Instead he stayed perched on the ledge, his possibly broken toes shooting blinding pain up his leg as he stood there.

"Azarias, answer my questions truthfully: Why were you scaling my building?"

"I...I'm trying to escape."

"Escape? Why on Earth for?"

He stared at her, momentarily baffled by the question. Why wouldn't he want to escape? She forced commands on him every second of every day, she said his true name so much he wondered if she even knew his other name? She tortured him for entertainment, gave him hallucinogens that made nightmares seem pleasant, she even cut off his wings! His life here was a living Hell.

But he didn't say any of that; instead what came out was, "Because I'm tired of being afraid."

She huffed and rolled her eyes, "What ever are you afraid of, my love?"

"You. This. Everything! I don't know why I'm here. I'm afraid of what you'll do to me next or what you'll make me do. I'm afraid I'll be here forever. I'm afraid to go to sleep, and I'm afraid to wake up, and I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired. I just want to go. Please let me go."

"Let you go? After everything I've done for you, you want me to just let you go?"

"Lucy, Your Majesty," said the raven haired girl at her side, "We can still fix this. I could reinforce the barriers, we could—"

"Christine, you hardly have room to talk." The Queen glanced over her shoulder, shooting the girl a cold look. "I wonder where he could have gotten the sleeping potion from."

The girl stepped back and swallowed hard looking up at Jason apologetically.

The Queen sighed, "Anyway, Azarias, you're perfectly right. I suppose this has been coming for quite a while, though. I should let you go." Jason watched her, confused. He hadn't expected her to agree with him, and something about it unnerved him. She smiled back at him, "I'll see you in the next life, my love." Then she let go of his hands and, with a smile, pushed him off the ledge.