#tffl

When Blitzwing used to be a seeker, he liked to polish himself. Not to the extent of Knockout, of course (no one obsessed over their polisher like Knockout), but enough to make his frame glimmer in the slightest bit. He had the perfect frame to show his glimmer off, but that wasn’t the main reason he polished himself. It wasn’t even about the polish at all! 

It was more about the machine he used.

The one he used, while it was a bit smaller than usual polishers, it used to fit perfectly in the space between his wings. It pressed against the joints of his wing bases in a way that wasn’t too much pressure to hurt or damage them, but enough to stimulate some pleasant feelings. 

Blitzwing used to attach his polisher to a long handle and just slip it between his wings once in a while, keeping it there for several minutes before moving on with his polishing. 

But when he was turned into a Triple Changer, that all changed. 

Blitzwing’s polisher had become too small to be nice between his wings, but it didn’t matter, since he wasn’t even comfortable using the polisher anymore. The idea of it gliding across his frame, one that had changed drastically for him, just made him a little bit sick in his tanks. Every time it glided over his scars, it made him wince in uncomfortableness, since his scars revealed his sensitive metal plates. Also, the experiment must have fragged something up between Blitzwing’s wings, because he felt as if something defective there was aching with everything he did, and touching it caused him lots of pain.

That didn’t mean Blitzwing didn’t at least try.

He tried many times, but he just couldn’t handle the feeling. And then after one wonky attempt, he broke his polisher into pieces in a fit of rage (or was it actually distress? He couldn’t really tell anymore).

After becoming a Triple Changer, his frame, which once had a slight glimmer, had become dull and matte. Blitzwing stopped taking care of his frame, sometimes to the point where Astrotrain had to force him to take care of himself for a while to prevent rust and cracked plates. Astrotrain might have been way taller than him, but he was also a bot who was very gentle with his movements (if he wanted to, most of the time he liked to be overly erratic). His fingers were nimble, originally to handle to spin his blasters and shoot out multiple rounds in quick succession, but also to handle the tools needed to keep a mech functioning. But no matter how much Astrotrain tried to take care of Blitzwing to make sure his unwillingness to do self care didn’t make him go offline, his frame glimmer was lost.

___

“For Primus’s sake Blitzwing, you should take care of yourself more often!” Astrotrain yelled in exasperation as he pushed one of Blitzwing’s arm plates open to scrape off dried energon build up from a damaged energon line, “Be lucky that this energon line wasn't so major, or you would have been bleeding out for hours on end. And also be lucky that I saw the bleeding before it got any worse!”

Astrotrain finally scraped it off, started patching the energon line, then switched faces and chuckled. “Heh, but I know you're not going to listen to me. It's just typical of you to do whatever you want without any thoughts of the consequences! Typical Blitzwing! All cuckoo and carefree!” 

Astrotrain kept snickering as he closed Blitzwing’s arm plate and stood up, “I know for sure that no matter what I say, we’re going to be right back here again, fixing some new problem!” 

Blitzwing switched faces and fumed, “Oh shut your mouth, slagger!”

“Ok ok, I will, for now. But you cannot shut the fact that my words speak the truth.” Astrotrain turned to walk away, his footsteps thundering, “Oh and by the way, Megatron wants us in the meeting room in ten minutes. I suggest you hurry and don't damage any more of yourself on the way, you know how much Megatron wants his Decepticons in top condition!”

Blitzwing opened his mouth to yell at Astrotrain, but he stopped and closed his mouth again, switching faces and standing up. He looked at his arm, where Astrotrain had fixed his energon line. Astrotrain’s words echoed through his processor multiple times, no matter how annoying it got. Blitzwing wanted to just laugh it off, to think of it as a silly joke, but he couldn't. It wasn't a silly joke. It was the truth.

No matter how much Blitzwing wanted to deny it, it was the truth. The cold hard truth.

____

Refueling wasn't a big problem for Blitzwing… sometimes. Sometimes he got himself enough to last a while, sometimes he had only enough to run on half a tank. It was quite hard to adjust to a frame that demanded more energon to function, but he made it work eventually (He didn’t). And then there was the purging that happened once in a while during the night… but he didnt like to talk about that.

But what was most annoying about his frame upgrade was the pain that came with it. Not even the idea of three faces annoyed him that much (even though the face switching did hurt at one point). His knees were constantly hurting, due to the weird build of his legs, and he kept breaking his knee braces by tearing them up and destroying them whenever he felt like it. For days on end, his tanks constantly felt sore, no matter if his tank was full or empty or whatever in between. And what was the worst thing was the dull ache in the joints of his wings, and the constant prickling pain down his back in between his wings.

He once wanted to paint over his scars, but every time he thought of it, he always got sidetracked to thinking about painting himself in many different colors wilder than any Decepticon had ever seen before. Despite that sounding like a cool idea, Blitzwing always countered those thoughts because he didn’t want to look stupid or get in trouble with Megatron. Instead, he decided to see how others reacted if someone else was painted in wild colors.

This led to him going to the seeker trine’s room with buckets of paint and painting all sorts of crazy things on them (originally he wanted to just paint Starscream, but seeing them in the seeker pile made him all too happy to paint all three of them). Blitzwing then waited till the next day to see what would happen… It was lots of humiliation and getting punished by Megatron pretty badly. This scared Blitzwing to his very spark, to the point where he felt guilty about it (but no way he would ever admit it was his fault).

Only Astrotrain knows what truly happened on that day.

At that point, Blitzwing had completely given up on trying to fix himself, trying to take care of himself, caring for a frame that he once cherished. No use in caring for a frame that had been warped beyond his own recognition and repair.

_____

“Blitzwing.” Astrotrain spoke, trying to get Blitzwing’s attention. 

No response.

“Blitzwing.” Astrotrain hissed, “You glitch, I know you can hear me,” He looked down at the ground, “Stop ignoring me please.”

Blitzwing eventually raised his head, “What is it.”

Astrotrain looked into Blitzwing’s optics, “There’s only one energon cube left for today.”

Blitzwing’s optic twitched, and he switched faces, “That’s what you bothered me for?!”

Astrotrain switched faces, “Oh EXCUSE me for trying to help my DEAR Amica! Oh what an aft am I!”

“Slag off!”

Astrotrain switched faces, “Do you want the fragging energon cube or not?”

Blitzwing switched faces, “You can have it.”

Astrotrain reached for the energon cube, then stopped.

“You refueled yourself at least more than halfway today, right?”

Blitzwing’s optic twitched, then he switched faces, “Ah yes! I had quite the feast today! Oh such a nice servo salad it was! Aha!”

Astrotrain grimaced for a slight moment before grabbing the cube, “the idea of you eating other Cybertronians still unnerves me heavily… but at least it’s better than nothing. ”

Blitzwing switched faces again and looked at the ground as Astrotrain chugged the energon cube. He felt bad for lying, but also not sorry for it at the same time. No matter whatever Astrotrain felt through the Amica bond.

Speaking of the Amica bond, Blitzwing rarely made use of the emotion sensing ability that the bond had. He had too much going on in his head to go poking around in Astrotrain’s emotions.

But this time, Blitzwing used the bond. He used the bond to try and poke into Astrotrain’s emotions, but gave up when he felt the mess of emotions in there. He didn’t care enough to go in there and try to see what is what.

He just didn’t care.

_____

But then he met Bumblebee. That little yellow Autobot who kind of slightly annoyed him to no end and was the love of his life at the same time. The one who treated every single one of Blitzwing’s faces with love and care, even when he was being a bit of a glitch.

Every time that they met up, Bumblebee would bring something to cheer Blitzwing up, whether it was a few cubes of energon, some cans of oil, a servo (Bumblebee never said where he got it from, to Blitzwing’s disappointment, since it was one of the best servos he ever had), or even his own polisher! 

But the best thing was how Bumblebee tried his best to handle Blitzwing’s pain. He couldn’t do anything about Blitzwing’s knee pain, other than at least try to tell Blitzwing to stop destroying his knee braces. Bumblebee would bring his hands over Blitzwing’s numerous scars, massaging them the best he could (he stopped if Blitzwing was in too much pain though). He would even move his fingers over the space between Blitzwing’s wings, putting his digits between the wings and massaging the wing base joints, soothing the discomfort in them.

It was the best thing Blitzwing had felt in centuries.

____

Holding the energon cube in his hands, Blitzwing looked down at it with a solemn look on his face. Why did his love offer this to him? He gingerly cupped the cube, afraid to spill a drop and disappoint his little sweetspark. 

“Why aren't you drinking your energon Blitz? Worried that it’ll run away?” Bumblebee chugged his cube of energon and tilted his head at Blitzwing.

A sigh came out of Blitzwing’s mouth. He just couldn’t tell Bumblebee the truth… he couldn’t! 

“Why aren’t you drinking your energon, Blitzwing?” Bumblebee’s antennae drooped in sadness.

Oh god, the sight of Bumblebee being sad hurt Blitzwing to the deepest depths of his spark. He needed to find a way to mitigate the situation before it got worse!

The slight ache in his tanks gave him a great idea.

“Ach… I have a slight tank ache. I don't really feel like refueling right now…” Blitzwing spoke, hoping that everything would stop at that moment.

But when Bumblebee immediately turned his head around to look at him, he was greatly surprised. He didn't expect that Bumblebee would become so attentive to him.

“Alright buddy, lie down.” Bumblebee commanded Blitzwing, “I wanna try something”

Blitzwing was confused, but he laid down anyway. Luckily the ground was soft-ish, or else he would have been very uncomfortable. And so he waited for something to happen

He waited…

And he waited…

And he waited some more…

Until suddenly, he felt a weight on his tanks. Blitzwing immediately looked up and saw that Bumblebee had plopped himself on top of his tanks. He kept staring, even when Bumblebee looked up to meet his gaze. 

“Hey, you’re a big mech, I have to change how I do things here!” Bumblebee pouted.

Blitzwing watched Bumblebee, then switched faces and laughed, “Wow, you’re heavier than I thought!”

He received a slight kick to the tank.

“Not funny.” Bumblebee frowned.

Blitzwing winced, switched faces, and sighed, “Apologies.”

“Good. Now let me do this, and I promise that your tank aches and pains will alleviate soon!” Bumblebee positioned himself and reached out with his hand. 

The hand settled low on Blitzwing’s hips before going up and stopping just underneath his chassis. This was repeated 10 times. Then some semi circle motions across his abdomen, also repeated ten times. There then came some soft massages and kneading, which calmed Blitzwing down.

But when Bumblebee did the little vibrations with his hands, this surprised Blitzwing a little bit.

And then Bee was finished.

“Wow,” Blitzwing gasped, “That was… wow.”

Bumblebee smiled, “I get tank aches too, so Ratchet taught me this to alleviate the pain.”

“Could… you teach how to do that?” Blitzwing asked.

Bumblebee smirked mischievously, “Only if you drink the energon cube. You need it.”

Blitzwing sighed, then drank the cube. It actually felt nice…

It seemed that what Bumblebee did worked really really well.

____

After a while, it seemed as if the treatment Blitzwing got by being Bumblebee’s sweetspark started affecting him in a good way. His frame felt so much more comfortable to him now, his aches between the wings had stopped, his scars were less sensitive, and he purged much less. Face switching was less of a chore to him now, more being more flowy instead of jerky and sudden. He even used what Bumblebee taught him to alleviate tank ache.

Astrotrain, as observant as he was, was bound to notice something.

____

“Damn Blitzwing, youve having more energon right now than ive seen you have in an entire week!” Astrotrain laughed, slapping Blitzwing on the back.

Blitzwing’s wings twitched from the slap, his face switched, and he scowled. Finishing his energon cube, he turned towards Astrotrain.

“So I guess Swindle sold you some good sense or something?”

“No you dumbaft, Swindle hasn’t even been here in a while. And any transactions I do or will do will be face to face with him, cause I don’t trust him entirely.”

“Ah, ah.” Astrotrain smirked as he kneeled down, “Then tell me what’s gotten you to act so different? It’s definitely not from you following my advice, that’s for sure.” Another laugh from Astrotrain ensued.

Blitzwing fumed for a bit, then switched faces, “it’s… the little Autobot.”

Astrotrain paused for a moment, then switched faces, “What did the Autobot do.”

Blitzwing reminded himself that Astrotrain was not entirely trusting of Bumblebee, so he had to choose his words carefully if he didn’t want to accidentally screw everything up.

“He… gives me energon every time we meet…” Blitzwing switched faces “He treats me like a queen! His beautiful big queen!” 

Astrotrain froze, not expecting to hear that. Switching faces, he brought himself closer to Blitzwing, eyeing him curiously.

“So you’re saying that this… tiny little Autobot… has been helping you with your problems?”

Blitzwing nodded vigorously.

Astrotrain suddenly switched faces, “Well FINALLY! Finally someone got some sense into your processor!” Laughing, he patted Blitzwing on the shoulder, “And, please keep this up. It’s healthier for you, and there’ll be more for your little Autobot to love!”

Blitzwing switched faces, blushing in embarrassment, but nodded anyway.

After a while of snickering, Astrotrain switched faces, “But I must not get sidetracked, since there is something I have to say: Megatron has commanded that we go do an energon raid in about three hours. We actually have to be out of the base in one and a half hours,” Astrotrain said with a bit of bitterness in his voice, before softening his tone, “So have another cube and we can go, okay?”

Blitzwing nodded his head and drank his energon cube, “Alright.”

____

Even though he knew that his scars would never heal, Blitzwing knew that Bumblebee would be there for him, no matter what.