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Testing (carcar, gridwide mpreg curse, explicit, 2/5)
“It’s not magical insemination,” Mark theorises. “Those Wimbledon wankers were fucking each other. Are you fucking any guys? Stop fucking guys.” Oscar’s scalp is hot from the sun and his blood. His hair follicles prickle and he thinks of shaved Barbie dolls, of dotted holes in plastic skulls. “I’m not fucking guys.” “It’s okay if you’re fucking guys.”
♪ mood music
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Is Mark -“stop fucking guys”- Webber feeling a disturbance in the force as Oscar gets closer and closer to fucking the one guy on the grid who actually wants to get pregnant?
HAHAHAHAHAH omg i love you! here's a wip snippet of a later chapter just for you:
From: Oscar I just saw Carlos Sainz’s dick
From: Logan Lol haha williams onlyfans sponsorship? Lol I just googled it that’s AI dude
Against his better judgement, Oscar googles carlos sainz penis, panic closes the tab, and googles carlos sainz jr penis. The only relevant result is a manip of Carlos as a centaur with a horse cock. Like Logan thought Oscar 1) googled furry porn of his coworker and 2) believed it to be a real photograph. Wholly offended to the point of recklessness in seeking a different reaction, he texts Mark.
From: Oscar SOS broke the first rule Fucked a guy Please advise
Mark tries to call four times in a row before texting back excruciatingly slowly. Oscar imagines him painstakingly plucking each key.
From: Mark Who knows Who was it Was it Lando It was that smarmy kiwi kid wasn’t it
Oscar rubs his eyeballs through their lids. He says, aloud, “Jesus fucking Christ.”
does anyone want to help me with some world building for my grid wide mpreg curse fic?
imagine you’re a scorched earth chaotic vigilante reproductive rights group and you can knock up 6 f1 drivers for your cause. who do you choose and why? 🤡🤡🤡
Okay, this one called out to the sentimentalist in me: 🧸"Who still has the very first gift the other ever gave them?" for CARCAR Also, I feel as though we may know the answer to this already the two longform carcar fics you've got, so feel free to invent anew!
(TESTING: Carlos [from Oscar]--cheap pregnancy test--but is it a gift if Carlos asked Oscar for it? So maybe the Piñon puzzle (and so would Carlos's gift to Oscar be the nipple piece he got to keep, and which Oscar lovingly had to save from half-wash annihilation?)
(HDR: Oscar [from Carlos]: so many first gifts in the various time loop dead ends--"HAPPY RACE" banana, snow globe, shark plush with red with hand-sewn fire fart ribbon attached, pyramid of coconut water cartons, matching caps, heart-shaped sunnies, and t-shirts that say I GOT MY KICKS, etc., etc. And from Oscar *to* Carlos: Pain-in-the-Ass Yardie, vibrating cock ring... And in the loop where it ends good: Celestial Cheek Tattoos for Starlos and golf balls of things Oscar hates for Ostar)
oh my god?!!?? the best possible ask i could ever receive from the kindest anonstie?!? tears in my eyes that you took the time to look these up i love you so much and it's making me gaze lovingly upon my own writing in a way i would never do left to my own devices. i adore you and i am so lucky to have written anything remotely worth your care and kindness!!! STARLOS AND OSTAR!!!
HAHAH this may change in testing as i revise but currently the first thing carlos gives oscar is laundry detergent implying that oscar's clothes smell of mildew
oh gosh HDR carlos was such a guy wasn't he? seeing that long list of gifts given followed by gifts received PAIN IN THE ASS YARDIE AND VIBRATING COCK RING i am CRYYYYING. help. i'm so glad testing oscar gave that man a custom puzzle. i need this fictional man to be on the receiving end of gifts in some universe
but in HDR universe, oscar keeps the CS55 ball (found in the balls of things oscar HATES :((( ) and he brings it out when he and carlos are FIGHTING. whenever he's irritated and pushed to his limits and scraped against all the edges of them that don't match up he picks the ball up and remembers carlos writing all those balls while thinking oscar hates HIM :(((( and he rubs it in his palms so much the permanent marker begins to wear off and he retraces the letters again himself, following the lines of carlos's penmanship :((( and after a Big Fight over careers and family and coming out that ends up being a dumping ground for every way they've ever wronged each other, carlos comes back from a run and sees oscar asleep on his folded arms at the kitchen bar, ball trapped inside his elbows on the countertop :(((( and carlos starts to cry and calls his mother and then they make up :)))
Just came across this on pinterest, got Testing whiplash lol
oh...my...god...
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wip wendesday
tagged by the incredible @shineon3, @girlsdads, & @saapphicx to share a snippet of what im working on! :D
testing:
But Carlos finds him again. He waddles in wearing swim fins, showing too much skin, hugging the floaty crocodile. “Do you itch?” “What?” “The bite. Does it itch or does it not itch?” “Oh. Can’t say I’ve thought about it.” “It does not itch, then. I win.” Carlos grins in the glittery dark. He sets the crocodile down and sits beside Oscar on the piano bench, flippers knocking into Oscar’s shoes. He’s wearing swim trunks with anchors on them. He plays a little song, something twinkly and nice.
to the victor remastered:
“No, you fucking idiot asshole.” Max swipes at his eyes, rough and jerky. “You smelled like–like. Like you–like I. Like I needed you.” Daniel needed to be resuscitated once. Fucking leviathan Toto Wolff gave him chest compressions and he woke up with a fractured sternum. It’s supposedly healed, but sometimes he can feel the fault line. “What am I supposed to do with that, Max?” He looks behind himself to the flesh toned painting and the little closet of horrors. “Where am I supposed to put that?”
i tag anyone who sees this 🫵 show us what you're working on!
rereading testing after witnessing the redpill-ification of carlos sainz jr in that recent call carbono has been a treat and its actively making me not get the ick from him because hey, he might have some weird ideas about women in real life BUT REALLY what he wants is to get pregnant. specifically by oscar. so really, its all fine. I dont need to face the reality of rich men being misogynistic just yet. the power of rpf will keep me going
rpf will keep us all going 😮💨😮💨😮💨
at any moment all these guys are shaking the tightrope i walk between enough-disrespect-to-write-you-pathetic-and-sobbing-with-want and too-much-disrespect-to-contemplate-you-at-all. it’s a delicate balance ⚖️
a pal once got an ask about stomaching the gross comments of an rpf guy and she said something like “im not responsible for him. if i were, he would have NEVER said that” hahaha. like testing carlos would have never said that! real carlos’s punishment is testing carlos begging for a uterus
em the carcar mpreg playlist help “ur fucking evil but i want ur babies” just choked on my tea
HAHAHA honored you listened to the testing playlist & here is a snippet for you:
“We’re not even friends.”
“Are we not? You are my friend, Oscar.”
“What’s my middle name?”
“Oscar…Ploscar.”
