That moment when you’re a bard and the sweet wimpy paladin you’re dating pulls you aside after a battle and tells you he’s worried about you throwing yourself into danger and he loves you and wants to take your relationship to the next level.
And then he starts kissing you on the lips and slowly trailing down your neck and then he BITES YOU and starts draining the blood from your body telling you taste so sweet. And it turns out he’s been a vampire this whole time, and then he kidnaps you and takes you down into a maze of catacombs and then puts you on an operating table and cuts you open and RIPS YOUR SOUL OUT while your still awake and he tells you that you’re perfect and you’re exactly what he needed. And he betrays you and discards you outside, leaving you to bleed out and die. Fuck dude. He just got like 100X HOTTER 😫

















