#terror verse

The words caught Fitzjames' attention. That was a sentence the Commander has said to himself several times in his life. His upbringing wasn't easy and despite his outward personality, he was always judging himself. Sometimes it was hard, but he could always comfort others.

"Would you like to talk about something..." Then he realised. "Forgive me, but I didn't catch your name."

“Oh, right,” she stammered awkwardly, “my name is Fish, Captain. Fish Monet.” Not a name, per se, and yet, it was hers. The last memory of her mother, carried everywhere. She perhaps had another name once (surely), a proper name. But it was long forgotten. 

@brassandblue​ . 𝐒𝐄𝐌𝐈 𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑

Fish avoided doctors like the plague. It was a bad habit for someone as dangerously reckless as her, but it was a necessary one too, learned after years spent hiding her true identity. And now that she was in the middle of this icy hell, stuck, she particularly disliked the possibility of a doctor figuring out that she had been lying. And the fact that Goodsir was a surgeon didn’t make it any better! Doctors, surgeons, the problem was the same! What if he asked her to lift up her shirt? How would she explain then, the bandages all over her torso?

And yet here she was, sitting down and nervously biting down her nails. She looked like a trapped animal more than a willing patient, but after a bad fall earlier that day, she had been forced there by some of the other mates.

"Look alive, Mr. Monet!" Thomas barked sharply at the young sailor who appeared to be nodding off; though his eyes glitered mirthfully and he was barely holding back a grin.

Thing was, Fish (as Thomas heard the young lad be called) wasn't actually on duty, and the old Icemaster knew it. But rather than simply play a little bit of a joke, the intention was to help the men stay aware of their environs at all times. It was a lifesaving habit, that. He wanted these boys--his boys--to stay alive and well, and it helped if they didn’t make a habit of snoozing anywhere but their hammocks.

Fish jolted wide awake, embarrassed that she had even fallen asleep in the first place. She had developed the strange ability to sleep everywhere, while simultaneously waking up at the slightest sound. A habit born out of survival, really. But Blanky’s bark was far from subtle, and she had been startled out of her slumber. 

@thenightmareofyourdrems​​ sent: “ are you okay? “ ~ Olek (bio) for your new verse bc <333 from: 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐎𝐑 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒.

Oh, she was not okay. The impetuous waves had turned into an icy hell. An implacably frozen prison, barely moving as the hull tried to force its way through it. She missed the warm seas, she missed the fresh ocean breeze, she missed running bare foot on the deck. But her old ship was far now, which she knew was good considering the circumstances. After all, she was running away from it. Still, she felt claustrophobic out here, in this white immensity of snow and ice. Stuck on a boat that wouldn’t move.

@brassandblue​ sent: “The world used to be a bigger place.” / Arthur @ Fish, Terror AU from: 𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒

Hidden away from the cold in the hull of the ship, Fish was sitting on the floor. Laying on the floor, actually. It helped with the pain on her back (a stupid fall on the ice, she didn’t want to talk about it). When Arthur spoke, she looked away from the ceiling to find his silhouette standing not too far from her.

“You talk as if you were here when the world was bigger,” she mused mindlessly, smiling at the thought.

'Don't be. I think we're all feeling nervous, but we can't let it get the best of us.'

This wasn't the first time Fitzjames has abandoned a ship and it hopefully wouldn't be the last.

Hm. Walking on the ocean, frozen or not, seemed unnatural to her. But it beat being stuck on the ship. At least now they’d be moving. 

"You haven't seen me angry," Arthur snapped.

"This?" he gestured vigorously at himself, "this is annoyed. Frustrated, even! And I am ever so delighted you're getting a good bloody laugh out of it. Christ!"

He turned away as he paced in the small space which they currently occupied on one of the lower decks of Terror. Tears threatened and stung Arthur's eyes, so distraught was he still following Sir John's-- his father's-- death. He continued to scowl to hide the anguish in his weary green eyes.

Fish opened her mouth and closed it. She frowned, unsure why Sir Franklin’s death was upsetting him so. Not that she was heartless, far from it. She understood the despair of their situation, and the gravity of such a loss. But this? His reaction? It puzzled her. And so, she kept to herself the quip she was about to retort.

“I’m not laughing,” she simply pointed out. Death had been a part of Fish’s life, before she was even born. Her father had died when she was still in her ma’s belly. She had seen women taken by syphilis in the brothel, and then, it took her mother too. As for a life at sea, it brought its fair share of loss. But she was still bad at grief, ironically. It made her somewhat uncomfortable, as if she preferred to move forward, afraid perhaps to stop and think of all the people she had lost. Perhaps the sorrow would drown her, like a wave crashing against the shore. 

@brassandblue​ sent: “Why are you like this?” // Arthur (England) @ Fish (Terrorverse) from: 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒