#terriku

Terra: Watch your language .

Me, immediately:

Terra, 

I don’t know if you’re ever going to get this letter, or if I’ll ever get the chance to deliver it. Right now, it’s a letter with the hope that you’ll get it on a day that we share together in the future. For now, I’ll be holding onto it. I’ll probably put it somewhere hoping that you’ll accidentally find it, or, I’ll leave it on my bed if I ever move out. 

You know. . .  This is going to sound sappy, and I’m sorry in advanced. . .  Remember when you met me all those years ago and I was just some kid on a beach and you told me that, if I took that keyblade in my hand, I’d find you again? You were the second stranger in my life to show me kindness, and it was because of that that I kept hoping that we’d meet again. I can’t count how many nights that I wished on stars while sitting on my bed alone that I’d be a great keyblade wielder like you had talked about, even though I didn’t know what you meant at the time. I remember how cool you were, and how you talked like one of those knights in those books my mom used to read to me -- you still do, by the way. . . That’s never changed, even after all this time.  Even though I hadn’t seen you since that day, I had already labelled you as someone that I look up to and want to be like. Someone great and kind . . .  A knight or a prince to everyone I come across.

Anyway, I kept thinking about how I wanted to be like you. I wanted to be as great as you said I could be. I know I’m not there yet, but I hope to be one day.

The day we crossed paths in the Land of Departure and you said ‘well, look at you’ and I just said ‘thanks’, I’m sorry that that was awkward. . . I didn’t know what to say. I was. . .  Overwhelmed. This was the first time that I was seeing you since I was five, and you were there looking like the same knight that I had met all those years ago. I also, didn’t hear compliments at the time hardly ever. So to get one, not only from the person I always looked up to but from you about my looks and how proud of me you were it made it hard to find the right words to say. 

You tend to make talking. . . Difficult. 

I want to tell you something, Terra, before a mission takes me out of your narrative and I don’t get the chance. 

I know how much you hate yourself because you weren’t able to fight by my side and protect me while I grew up like you had promised. I know that there is a part of you in your heart that blames yourself because I’m not the same pure light you met when I was younger. I’m tainted now in darkness, finding the dawn to be where I belong as the darkness remains inside of me. Listen to me when I tell you this, please? You don’t have to blame yourself for what I went through. You weren’t the one who pulled the strings of my life to put me through what I did. You had no idea. How could you have? You didn’t know my entire story until I told you and cried while doing it, just like I didn’t know your story until you told me.  

If you had more time, would you have changed your story? . . . Would you have changed mine?

Do I wish you had been there for me the entire time I was growing up until now? Absolutely. I wish you were there to tell me that the darkness was going to change my very perspective on life. I wish you had been there to tell me that it wasn’t my fault that I almost killed my best friend. . . I wish you had been there when I was feeling like I was completely alone in the universe. While you may not have been there then, you’re here now, Terra. You’re here with me now. You protect me and comfort me the same way that you promised all those years ago. You get to see me continue to grow, you get to see me become the prince and great keyblade wielder that you always knew I could me.

When I was younger, I didn’t believe that I deserved a life of glory. You believed in me. After all this time, you still believe in me.

Remember, Terra. Your time isn’t up. If anything, it’s only just starting. You can’t go back in time, but you can make up for everything from your past that you had no control over. 

You still have time to be the knight of light that I saw you as when I was five. Don’t give up . . .Please? If not for yourself, then for me. 

I’m proud of you, Terra. I’m proud of everything that you have accomplished and I’m proud of the person that you have become. I know that you will never believe me when I say that to you -- not just that, any compliment I give you. One day you will believe in yourself just how much I believe in you. . . and just how much you believe in me. When that day comes, you’re going to shine brighter than any light that I have ever seen.

I’m writing this letter and I’m running out of time to write it. Can I tell you something else. . .? I’m . . . I’m scared that I won’t get a chance to grow old with you or anyone else because I fear that, one day, one of these missions is going to be the reason that I don’t come home. I know that it could happen, it was the risk I took when I became a Keyblade Master. That doesn’t mean I’m not scared of what could happen. 

You can’t tell anyone that, okay? It’s a secret. I don’t know why I’m even telling you other than that it’s because I know that tomorrow could be my last battle. I guess if it is my last battle and you never get this letter. . . I’ll die knowing that I got out all the words I didn’t say before I left. I’ll die wondering if I had done enough for you to tell my story while your eyes look on with hope and fondness instead of sadness.  If it’s not my last battle, and I get the chance to walk through your front door another day, then I’ll have the chance to let you find this letter or to give it to you outwrite.

I have to go but know that I miss you. When I come home, can you tell me about how you met Cinderella again? I always like hearing that story because you sound so happy when you tell it.

I can’t wait to see you again.

Yours,