#termitehive

“Good ol’ boy looking for his cajun queen, must love swamps, gators and realize granny is always first in my heart. Nope!” with some difficulty the burning woman swiped an oven-mitted hand left across the screen. Stella leaned back in the asbestos lined  easy chair, took a sip of her wine and took a look at her next match. “Brilliant small, and I mean small business owner. Likes mini-golf, model building and controling insect armies. Join me and we can rule St. Canard as ant king and queen! Must be at least a d-cup-UGH!” Stella slammed the oven mit down on the screen, swiping left fast enough to leave a trail of fire that lingered in the air for a few seconds. shaking her head, she took another sip of wine. “Who’d have thought that the villian dating pool would be full of creeps.” Sighing, she shook her head. “Maybe I should see if anyone matched with me?” Oh, here’s one!  Mistressterious of illusion, Looking for a partner in crime. I’ve got the brains, and you’ve got the muscle. Together, we can show  to show my beloved Darkwing what the queens of crime can do.” Stella choked on her wine, coughing violently for almost a minute, “What the hell is muscle supposed to mean, Why is she bringing up Dipwing? I’m not your villain unicorn, honey.” she set down her phone and went to the kitchen to pour a fresh glass. So far this villain dating site was not working out as she expected. “Well, what did you expect, girl? You’re not gonna find prince charming here. Just maybe try for a friend.” with another deep sigh, she grabbed the bottle off the counter and headed back into the living room, “That’s going to be hard enough to do.”  She settled back down, took a long swig from the bottle and looked back at her phone, to see another message.  Looking down, she noticed the picture of the man contacting her first. Unlike the others, he wasn’t bad looking. He was wearing a shirt at least, and didn’t seem to have some sort of insane headgear on. He looked like an average business dog in fact, a bit older than her and there was a touch of oiliness to his smile that made her a little uneasy. Still, compared to the other outright lunatics she’d seen until now, it was nothing. “What have I got to lose?” she took another swing of the wine, and swiped right.