#tenxcious

— breathed against her lips. The fire burned strong inside, most likely reflecting on his autumn hues as he pierced into hers. “— So fucking dumb.” /but i’m here now. Finally./ Moving her to face him completely, pushing her against the desk she was working on, leg between hers. Releasing a low groan, greedy for more, pushing forwards against her lips once more with that small frown that only told how truly serious he was about this. How much he yearned for the librarian, and for how long –

How long has it been since she blurted out all those things that she was keeping inside, a week? More? Time truly seemed to be losing its meaning --- and she couldn’t deny that the moments shared between her & Capo were quite awkward. But who could blame him, honestly? Her confession came out of the blue, sudden, a shaky but decisive ‘I’m in love with you’ that almost haunted her dreams every time she closed her eyes.

The work she was doing seemed almost automatic, without really thinking about it -- checking the list, checking the books that came in, write a number & a letter & it was done. Thankfully, nothing that really requested her focus & concentration because she had none ----- mind travelling to unseen places, marvellous possibilities that right now seemed the farthest thing from the reality, from what it could have been or would ever be.

So, she was DEFINITELY taken aback when she felt someone’s hand ( warm, calloused, was it shaking? ) on her shoulder, causing her to slightly wince and move amber hues to face the newcomer, heart skipping a beat at the sight --- Capo, what was he doing, what --

Before she could say anything, something really unexpected happened --- his lips, warm, soft, that coffee flavour mixed with nicotine, a sensory overload that made her gasp slightly against his tiers, her hands almost automatically moving to touch the hand on her shoulder before she could actually process what was happening. He -- Capo -- he was kissing her -- was it real? Was she dreaming? Had her fantasies come so far she couldn’t tell when she fell asleep?

His voice -- God, it sounded so much like his ( was she really dreaming? ), as he turned her around, breathing on her lips, talking with a quiet, but hoarse voice, making her shiver, goosebumps covering her pale skin, small hands grasping the fabric of his shirt. Letting him handle her as he so desired, still not knowing what was going on but her heart was racing in her chest, making her breath hitch in her throat, release small gasps & sighs as he kept kissing her ----- such passion, such warmth that made her feel like she couldn’t have enough, her own legs unconsciously & instinctively wrapping around his hips, fingers wandering & tangling themselves between dark, soft locks, tugging slightly, gently nibbling on his bottom lip.

You, dumb?

In the small pause between the heated, sensual exchange of kisses, Eileen managed to stare into his eyes, hand stroking his cheek with such gentleness, grazing his jaw, the small cut near his ear, trying to catch her breath. 

You? Dumb? ... No, no, not you...

“...You weren’t dumb, Capo...” I was. Oh, God, I was --- how much did you wait for me, in what ways did I hurt you, my love? I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean to... Her voice soft, shaky, full of emotion, unable to keep still, unsteady, pressing a tiny peck on his bottom lip before parting again, but not too far, no, never too far, for they have been away for so long already, she didn’t even need to catch her breath, she’d be glad to be smothered by his kisses if he so wanted. “---But... I... am h-happy.” Shaky, small chuckle, fluttering her eyelashes while looking down & then up again, thumb slowly caressing his tan neck. 

“...Am I dreamin’, or am I awake...?” For she still couldn’t believe it, it was so hard for her to realise it, as her brain was slowly trying to accept that they were never going to be. But no, no, he swept her off her feet with such ease, made her drop every thought she might have, made her feel as if that fire inside of her started burning again without hurting her this time.

So long, so long they waited... How hard had it been, how insanely complicated.

But --- the ending was what mattered, no?

Smiling to herself, Eileen shook her head, honey-brown eyes meeting auburn, feeling her heart jump again, what a promising acrobat it was. No, that wasn’t the ending.

“... I love you.”

  —People in my muse’s life || @tenxcious || accepting

🌟 …someone my muse trusts.

Joan has found herself to trust particularily Eileen and Jean during these months, mostly because they’re the only people that managed to see almost every side of her, personality & mentally wise. If they managed to do such it’s because she trusts them, enough to fall asleep near them or in any case nerd about pretty much anything in front of them. When she’s with either of the two Joan lets her ‘cool lady’ façade crumble so that she can be a nerd about the things she likes and loves, because she knows that they won’t judge her, and that they won’t say anything insulting about this side of her. They also manage to put up ( in their own different ways, of course ) with her antics, mood swings and terrible attitudes, which is something she appreciates. A lot.

😜 …someone who makes my muse laugh.

     it’s been gnawing at him for a while, but he’s not sure whether it’s his place to say anything. he & capo had spoken a number of times before, & seemed to get along well enough. but they were acquaintances at BEST, hardly close enough to warrant much concern, & ｙｅｔ—

                “Capo, are you feeling okay? You look a little pale, & you                  just wrote  that  a  FWOOPER  represents the number   t h r e e.”

Truth be told --- she never had hard times leaving, not even when it came to say ( temporarily ) goodbye to her family back in Ireland. She knew she was going to see them again & she could talk to them every day thanks to the awesome technology, so it was something --- new to her. That certain sting, that aching pain in her chest as Capo stared at her with such eyes, only imagining that the same emotion was resembling in hers too.  Similar to his own, her small hand got raised to brush over his warm cheek, thumb moving in circles in what was a soothing motion, or at least aimed to be.

“Hey.” Her voice a thin layer of paper, reaching him -- hopefully -- despite the several noises filling the airport. A small smile, an attempt to at least, & Eileen for a few moments pictured herself in Berlin with him, showing him around places that she already saw & finding new ones with him, creating new memories --- together. ( Oh, why did she had to go? --- But then again, she loved travelling -- just, why on her own? )

Maybe next time. Definitely next time -- for there was nothing in the world she wanted more than creating new things with him. Her new life had already started pretty much the day she met him.

“It’s just goin’ to be a bit more than one week -- hm?” Still, words were spoken out with such softness, as if cotton, her hand never leaving his face, twirling dark locks between fingers, then brushing them behind his ear. She was saying that to him --- but to herself, too -- it wasn’t easy, & it was weird to admit that it wouldn’t have been easy. But she wanted him to know, for the feeling... it really seemed to be mutual.

“I’m goin’ to miss you, though.” And just how he did it, it was whispered against his lips, delivering a small kiss that tasted, to her, like coffee & mint, those small candies that he constantly carried around. Maybe she could convince him to give her some, just to think of him as she ate them. “I’ll send you a lot of pictures, aye? An’ we’ll talk -- every night, the time is almost the same, just one hour apart...” Another small kiss that tasted, to her, like I wish you could come with me.

“I’ll be back as soon as ye can say ‘Pablo, get off the sofa’!” An attempt to chuckle again, the hint of a smile as she tilted her head, one last kiss, longer than the others --- she knew, she knew it was only going to be a week, just like that summer when she travelled to Barcelona -- & both times it seemed so hard but now, even more.

“I love you, too.” A small pause, squeezing his hand as her place got announced one last time, making her nibble her bottom lip. Time to go. “So, so much.”