#telemarker

I miss it !

Me: GameStars, this is Dan.

Telemarketer: Could I please speak with the business owner?

Me: Who is this?

TM: I am calling on behalf of Canada Post and Pitney Bowes.

Me: And what do you want?

TM: We want to offer you a 50% discount on your current mailing expenses. Tell me, what is the current volume of mail your businesss is currently sending?

Me: Ahhh, zero?

TM: Okay, and what percentage of that is packages and parcels?

Me: Pardon me?

TM: How much of your mailing is packages and parcels?

Me: I'm not sure, either zero percent or 100%, I guess it depends on how you look at things. How is it possible for me to be sending any packages or parcels when I told you that the volume of mail we send is zero?

TM: Oh, packages and parcels are different from mail. You have mail, and then you have packages and parcels.

Me: Okay... so if I could just skip ahead a bit, you are offering me a 50% discount on the mail and packages that I am not currently sending?

TM: Not just a discount, we are also giving you a precision postal scale, so you never have to go to the post office again.

Me: Oh okay, so a 50% discount, a scale to precisely weigh the packages I'm not sending, and reduce my trips to the post office from zero to zero?

TM: How do you run your business without mail?

Me: Very well, if I do say so myself.

TM: What about invoices, advertising, customer mails...?

Me: We don't invoice, we advertise through the internet, and we occasionally email our customers.

TM: Christmas cards?

Me: We send them a Christmas message, with some sort of discount at the store.

TM: When I get an email I just scan it, but when I get a Christmas card I can touch it, so it seems more special.

Me: You aren't going to convince me to go back to the 1900s.

TM: This is not the 1900s it is the future.

Me: We are technology based business, we don't kill trees to communicate.

TM: More and more businesses are returning to standard mail as a way to communicate...

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