#tele-vipers

What will I do in two weeks when I run out of toys to talk about?

It’s true, the box is just about empty. I’ve counted ahead and mapped out the remaining entries to the blog, and the final post will come on Wednesday, July 3.

Fortunately, I’m going out with something really special, which was kind of my plan the whole time. Hey, I kept time as a news producer for almost 10 years, I know how to count down.

Anyway, the final entries will showcase what’s left of my G.I. Joe collection.

Here’s Tele-Viper, the Cobra communications soldier released as part of Hasbro's 1985 G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero series.

One thing I always liked about G.I. Joe is -- with the exception of the "Knowing is half the battle" PSA's -- the dialogue and descriptions weren't completely dumbed down for kids. 

Here's what it says about Tele-Vipers from the figure's file card:

They carry a standard modular radio pack that contains as a main unit a VHF transceiver equipped with an automatic frequency hopper, a crypto unit and passive jamming and anti-jamming devices.

In 1985, none of that makes sense to me. I'm not sure it makes sense to me now. But I appreciate the fact that it didn't just say, "They use the radio and talk to each other!"

I think that's what makes it so appealing to this day. I could go back and read this stuff or the comics and I would understand a lot of the things I didn't get when I was seven or eight years old.

At the time, I didn't get it, but I didn't care. It was a toy. There was a cartoon. Who cares about some mumbo-jumbo on the file card?

On the other hand, had I been more curious and shown an interest in technology, maybe I could have gotten into that computer business that seems to make people so much money. 

Getting back to the figure, I always thought Tele-Viper was carrying a small television with him. But it turns out the device he's holding is a scanner, according to YoJoe.com.

Now I feel bad for always shoving it in some other figure's face and making them talk into it.

It turns out, Tele-Viper is also the first Cobra character released with the "Viper" suffix. This would be a running thing throughout the Joe series.

As I've shown here in this blog, vipers came in many varieties: Alley, H.E.A.T., Night, Frag, Toxo, Track, Strato, Motor, Techno, Gyro, Ice, Astro, Hydro, Secto, Star, Aero, Laser, Range, S.A.W., Rock, Sludge, Flak, Heli, Nitro, Cyber, Mega, Swamp, and even Zombie.