#tekay

This time last year I thought love wasn't for me.

This time 2 years ago,I refused to believe it existed for anyone.

And this Time 3 years ago I was heart broken truly for the 1st time.

I kept numb this whole time, walls up to keep myself from being hurt. I got used to being alone, rejected many. Opened up a little to few, but they abused it and I hid again.I made a name for myself as a loner, don't rely on anyone for your happiness. Except I wasn't happy, I just wasn't sorrowful anymore. Faking a smile became my best talent. keeping content was better than risking sadness for the happy that could be. 

A couple months ago a series of events at a campout led up to me unexpectedly falling in love. I didn't know that's what it was at the time, I just thought it was a mixture of music, drugs, cuddles, a beautiful scenario and a great guy to share it with. But looking back giving him a simple hug gives me just the same feeling.

We did things we normally wouldn't in the name of our love, but they had to happen for us to happen. Within the 1st visit to his place I had the urge to tell him 'I love you' as I bid him goodnight, but I know that kind of attachment so fast scares them away. Ironically within the same week he told me he thought he loved me, and once some drugs wore of he confirmed it again. and for once, in the longest time, I was able to say 'I love you too' with that kind of meaning behind it.

We have both been used, put in more than what was put out by past relationships. We've done things we didn't want to in order please other partners, our emotions have been played like an over used record. Our love with each other is different than any others we've had. We both give our best, to be the best for each other. Where one lacks in something, the other supports. Everyday feels like the 1st. We feel like we've been together forever now, yet everything else around us in time just flys by. We adventure together and try new things with each other,explore the world, and yet we can have just as much fun cuddles up in bed watching anime together. We are not perfect, in some ways people may say were 'broken' but in those times were still there for each other and can save each other from ourselves and bring a smile back when we can't on our own. We argue, but never get mad at each other, once our tempers cools down we fix it asap. We've planned a future together, and it is so much brighter than we could've imagined for ourselves alone.

I am a much better person than I was before our love. I have a better self image of myself, I actually look forward to the future as to where I never saw myself living past 25. I want to do better for myself and quit some bad habits, trying to improve on some things I lack. I am no longer terrified of sex, or even embarrassed to talk about it. I want to be healthier, I want to be more sane, I want to do more than just troll online or party. And I owe it all to him for this enlightenment. By loving me, it showed me all the lovable parts of me, and the potential I thought I have wasted. To me he really is the best.

The list will never be able to be fully explained on why he's the best and just so special and different than so many others but hers just a few.

He's a hopeless romantic that loves lil dates n such.

He uses the most precious names like darling or hunny.

He is my gloving doubles partner, and a great one alone.

He doesn't think I am useless for my inability to work and is willing to support us fully if need be

He motivates me and is going to help and fund me getting started in a life goal/business.

He actually cares about looking good and has a great style.

He once denied sex for my personal health.

His never ending taste for music and the variety is amazing.

He's a great dancer and singer

When cheese comes on at  a rave, He will run in next to me on the dance floor n sing and dance along side me making it personal.

He loves Ponies.

He's driven across the bay and camped out in a tent in a park because he wanted cuddles.

He is so creative.

His smile and vibes lighten any room he's in.

He's taken huge steps to self improvement in something hes struggled with when I asked, even tho many asked before.

He has made a lot of sacrifices for us.

He's shown me all the delicious Japanese noms n awesome anime.

He's a passionate lover in the bedroom.

He's hilarious.

Neko, kitty kitty meow ;3

He doesn't want kids and would rather have cats :3

He made a mix telling the story of the beginning of our love, then spun it at a gig.

He makes some pretty legit kandi.

He is quite the gentleman.

He thinks marriage is stupid.

He can some how tickle me when I'm not ticklish.

My parents actually like and trust him.

He puts up with me when I am a bitch.

He doesn't expect me to dress my best, stay shaved, or be primped up every time I see him.

He tells me not to wear makeup, not because it's a waste of time when we go out, but because 'he wants all the girls with makeup caked on to be jealous I am prettier than them without it.'

He introduces me to girls who hit on him because he likes showing me off and enjoys bitches being jelly of me.

This list wont do enough justice but will have to do.