#teddy;

Okay, so maybe posing as a dead body hadn’t been such a great idea.

He’d been asked by Selwyn to take care of the Nita case, the Magistrate Official making some vague comment about a conflict of interest. It was fine by him - Teddy had already met Nita, anyway, and after that meeting, he’d almost felt like he and Dr. Lacroix were kindred spirits.

The posing-as-a-dead-body thing was just icing on the cake.

It had been easy to convince the receptionist of the coroner’s office in the hospital to give him access to the morgue - a wide smile here, compliment about her blue eyes there, and he was able to mutter under his breath, I’m in, as if he was some spy in an action movie. From there, he’d managed to find a white sheet to drape over his body as he laid down on the examination table, not at all bothered that an actual dead body had most likely just been in the same spot. This wasn’t the worst place he’d ever slept.

He grinned as he heard Dr. Lacroix’s words. “Paint me like one of your French cadavers.”

Bodies didn’t usually breathe. At least not unless someone from Oleander had decided to send him a gift, or a warning. These days it could go either way. Regardless, he felt a heavy sigh escaping his lips at the sight of it, the distant thought that if this many people were intent on fucking with him than they could at least have the decency of doing it outside of the morgue. They’d only just finished getting the last coat of paint back up on the walls outside these doors.

He reached for the sheet, pulling it back to find a man lying there. Definitely not dead, probably not at any point, which at least erased one of his guesses. Vaguely familiar, but not more than a face he might’ve passed on the street. And a glib comment that made him want to pull the sheet back up and simply walk out of the room.

He betrayed none of it, a dry retort on his tongue that he wasn’t sure he didn’t mean. “Alright, but that means I have to cut off the top of your skull with a bone saw first. For accuracy.”

The thought followed that maybe he should be reaching for a weapon, in case this was simply the start of a second round of aggravated assault.  “I would love an explanation for this.”