Honestly, it might be a bit controversial, but I am actually very glad and thankful that our system (as a whole) completely ignored us and actively did not think about us for the past couple years. I mean, I guess its not surprising at all, because they were doing that because some of us had communicated regularly to Lin that we explicitly did not want to be bothered or exist and they were respecting that, but seeing things as a whole, I really appreciate that. It gave our system time to learn skills and self care and gain stability that when any of us became at all interested in existing or communicating or recovering, they had / have a lot more to work with to help us, take care of us, and support us.
I'm starting to think maybe our side of the system might start trying to engage in the world again. I'm starting to think maybe our side of the system will take over the actual DID related content on this blog as we really are the only ones that still genuinely have the capacity to experience DID in anything of a DID manner.
I think in a way, I'm starting to feel safe and secure enough with our overall system's ability to stay stable, stay safe, and care for ourselves that maybe, just maybe, we can work on things from before the age of 12. Maybe we can untangle some of that. Maybe we can figure out who we were before our side gave up. Maybe with the support of the side that has already "won" the game of trauma and DID of post-12 year old trauma, maybe it's not such a hopeless and doom filled notion.
I'll admit, I don't even fully know which part of The Other Side I am, I think I am probably TT in something of a more stable / mature mental space, but I guess that's why its nice to have a side system that really has mastered their end of plurality, dissociation, and trauma.
I can't say I'm not at least a bit interested in figuring out the mess on this side of things rather than just accepting the zoomed out rats nest that we are at face value.
I'm not sure honestly.
