hii! i was wondering if you could write a platonic/familial headcnaon, oneshot, drabble or whatever (i wasnât sure what kind of writing you do so you can choose whatever :3) about tech and a gn child/teen who views him as a father figure? of course, you donât have to! have a good day/night :]
â°â⤠â I know who you pretend I am â
tech + gn!child! reader
warnings: none
a/n: thank you for the request!! this is so fluffyyy
TECH knows how you view him, heâs seen the way you are around him compared to the rest of the bad batch. you mess around with the others, going along with what they do. but no matter how subtle you are, he knows you look for techâs approval for whatever you do.
so, he lets you follow him around, when heâs fixing the marauder, he lets you hand him his tools. âhydrospanner, please,â he stretches his arm out as you give him the tool, he likes seeing the happy glint in your eye, especially during the empireâs reign, it's a scary time, especially for a kid.
he has also gotten used to you, he lets himself go and let the fatherly instinct take over him when needed. he watches over you, makes sure you are healthy, or youâre not injured and looking after yourself.
if he notices you havenât drank in a certain amount of hours, he makes sure to get you some more rations, the same goes with food. if he notices you are cold whilst you sleep, heâll hand you his blanket, not bothered if heâs cold or not.
he knows heâs the best at strategy games, and heâll teach you when you both are alone, so when you play against one of his brothers, heâll internally be filled with pride when you win. he doesnât teach anybody else, and he doesnât tell the others he taught you.
if you have nightmares at night, and heâs the one on watch, heâll let you nap in the cockpit. he makes sure youâre not too frightened to sleep. if you are, he quietly info-dumps his favourite interests, so you have a voice in your ear to calm you down. so itâs a win-win situation for both of you.
tech walked upon the ramp of the marauder, he went in with the action of picking something upâuntil he heard small sniffles. he paused and looked over to the cockpit door, the sniffs were quiet and a more high-pitched than any of them. so, it definitely wasnât an adultâs cry.
his footsteps were purposeful but calm, so he could let you know he was walking in without speaking. he settled himself down on the seat next to the one you were in, he stared at you, seeing who was going to speak first.
tech exhaled softly, it seemed like he had to speak first, he wanted to comfort you, but he wasnât good with words. âhow long have you been here for?â is all that came out of his mouth.
you replied with a silent shrug of your shoulders.
he gives a small nod and opened up a cabinet under the nav-computer, he pulled out a small blanket and wrapped it around your shoulders. he slowly put his hand on your small head. âthis should keep you warm. we use this blanket a lot when someone is... upset.â
you snuggled around it and gave a nod, thanking him.
âyou are most welcome, you⌠can talk to me, but I canât promise my words will be the best.â
you leaped into his arms and tech froze, he didnât do too well with hugs. he exhaled shakily, you were forgetful when you werenât in the right mindset, he knew that. and he didnât want to make matters worse, so he went out of his comfort zone and wrapped his arms back around you.
âI canât say itâs going to be okay, because I donât know that for sure, butâŚâ tech fluttered his eyes shut and leant his chin on your head. he didnât believe in empty words, or saying sentences that had no meaning. there was no point.
âbut tomorrow might be a better day than today, focus on that.â
he looked down and noticed how still you became, he tilted his head to look at your face. asleep. you fell asleep on him, this wasnât what he signed up for.
but then again, when do the bad batch sign up for anything?
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hii! i was wondering if you could write a short fic (or headcanons) about tech and a teen reader who is, preferably afab, but gn can work too! just about reader being close to tech and how they spend their time together if you do headcanons or for a fic tech and reader wake up before the others and spend a quiet morning together? itâs alright if not and i apologize for not going further into depth!! have a nice day/night!
TBB Tech and Platonic Teen F!Reader friendship headcanons
Warnings: NONE YOU WEIRDOS
A/N: This is--for obvious reasons--platonic. I tried to go towards a more mentor/teacher/trusted adult route so I hope that's aligns well with what you were thinking. As always, thank you for requesting!!
After teaching Omega so many new things about the universe and gaining a deep connection with her, Tech would be open to developing similar relationships with other people, old, young, etc. Teaching others new things and expanding on shared topics and interests would be fulfilling and also help him find a common ground between him and others.
You would be curious about Tech from the get-go, impressed and fascinated by how much he knew and drawn in by all of his adventures and odd experiences. Tech is an early bird gets the worm kind of guy, so showing up at the Marauder with a list of your questions and curiosities at an absurdly early hour wouldn't really disturb him all that much. He'd just be happy that someone wants to hear him talk!
Whenever he was around, you'd want to talk to him about all kinds of topics. "What new things did you learn while you were away?" "I found this 'insert object name,' what can you tell me about it?" "Do you think you can come to my house later to help with my homework?" "I think I have an oil leak in my speeder, can you show me how to fix it?" "You and your brothers should come over for dinner sometime!"
Tech would quickly get used to your presence, and would start expecting you in the early hours of the morning before school or late at night after dinner/practice/other after school activities. He'd look forward to what new things you had to say or ask, but if you have anything more serious going on in your life, he'll be just as willing to listen to you, even if he doesn't have anthing to say in response.
Tech isn't the best when it comes to giving advice or talking about feelings, but he understands the hormones that come with adolescence and how that can intensify your feelings and emotions. He's be careful around you, and if he feels it necessary, give you the occasional pat on the arm or a reassuring fact to help with any uneasiness or worries.
Tech would become that person you could fall back on whenever things get too much at home or school. He's not always available to speak with you, but he'd insist that you can join him while he works on other projects or research topics in companionable silence. Tech is aware that teens need a sense of belonging, and he'll always be open to being that person as its an important part of developmental growth and he truly just enjoys your company.
He isn't always perfect though, and if you're dealing with problems such as romantic relationships or tension within your friend group, he'd most likely recommend someone else to help you work through it or offer advice. He understands his limitations, which is good, but that also means boundaries and making it clear to you that he's now all knowing as well as blunt, straight to the point, and literal in many senses.
Summery: You are an Imperial officer, formerly an intelligence officer of the Republic. You were friends with the Batch before they defected. You miss them, especially Tech. All hope seemed lost of finding them until a lead came upâŚfrom Safa Toma.
Warnings: Angst to comfort; feelings of conflict; feelings of betrayal
You sat down in the mess hall to eat your evening meal. It's been months since youâve interacted with the Batch seeing as how they defected from the EmpireâŚand you didnât. Well, most of them anyway. You still saw Crosshair here and there when he wasnât off on some mission. You spent time with him and ate with him when he was on base but otherwise, you ate your meals alone. It didnât start out that way. You ate with your friends, like in the days of the Republic. You enjoyed each otherâs company and found a reason to laugh and smile even if there was a war on. But the longer you worked with the Empire, the fewer your friends got. They either moved away, were killedâŚor went AWOL. The new people who came inâŚyou didnât share quite the same ideologies. They never served in the Clone War so they didnât share your appreciation of the clonesâŚalso, your passionate service of helping people wasnât shared. Most of these new officers were more about making their lives powerful than helping people, like you were.Â
At first, you didnât understand why the Batch ran away. You always wished you could have asked them their reasons. Why couldnât they just fight for the Empire? It was making the galaxy better. The Republic just evolved. Thatâs all. Same job, different uniform.
Thatâs what you thought at first.
The longer you stayed, the more you realized just how wrong you were.Â
The Empire was hurting people. Not helping. You sighed and picked at your food.
If only you could have asked them. Asked him. Maybe you wouldnât still be there, fighting for a cause you didnât believe in or sign up for. Maybe you could be with them. With him .Â
The resident genius must have seen coming what you didnât. You always did like listening to Tech talk. You saw now they were smart to get out while they still could. You wished you would have gone with them or met up with them or something. You were sure if Tech would have explained it to you, you would have understood and even agreed all that time ago. Tech always had evidence for what he thought. Never whims with him. His decisions were always well thought out and backed up. You trusted him completely.Â
Oh why couldnât you have trusted him that one last time without evidence?
You sighed again and grumbled at the same time. The picking at your food got a little more aggressive the more you thought. You felt yourself grow warm with agitation toward yourself but you couldnât help the spiral of thoughts. They just kept coming.Â
You worked with the Bad Batch on many missions and became really good friends with all of them. What you shared with Tech, well, that was a little more complicated. Being an intelligence officer, you spoke more to him. First for workâŚthen because you enjoyed it. You really wanted to believe he did too, seeing as he sought you out for your opinion on things, even if they were trivial, but you didnât know for sure so you just took the friendship for what it was, not wanting to touch or ruin it. The longer you knew him, the more you denied how you increasingly began to feel, convinced he didnât feel the same; but when news of the Batchâs death on Kamino reached youâŚYou finally came clean with yourself and admitted what you wouldnât before. You loved him.Â
Realizing you loved him, and that he was now gone with his wonderful brothers, your friendsâŚwas crippling. You cried yourself to sleep for a long time wishing that you had told him how you felt, that maybe the information was wrong, that maybe they could somehow be alive still. You saw the video of the destruction though. No one could have survived that. He died, never knowing your secret and now you were burdened with regret and the might have beens.Â
When Crosshair was saved, you visited him in the hospital every day, just grateful to have one of them back. One particularly tough day where everything went wrong, you couldnât help but to miss Tech even more. He always knew what to do when you were in a jam or how to make you feel betterânot because he was great with emotions but because he knew the real you. Your emotions bubbled to the surface. Not being able to share your grief with anyone for so long made your chest feel like lead.Â
âSo whatâs wrong?â Crosshair had asked. You had been sitting there with a grumpy look on your face and not saying hardly anything. You usually did most of the talking when visiting him. Being mostly silent, Crosshair knew something was up (as if the sour look on your face wasnât an indication already.)
 You looked around cautiously, not wanting anyone to hear you say you wished you were with a group of men once wanted by the Empire. It was treasonous to be sure.
You were sad, angry, depressed and annoyed. At yourself, the galaxy, the Batch, the EmpireâŚYou wanted to tell everything to Crosshair but you didnât know how much you could trust him. Thinking you couldnât just spill everything like the old days hurt you, but every day in the Empire taught you to be more and more cautious. How much did Crosshair believe in the Empire, you wondered? Cross was still Cross but he was ⌠different. Sadder? Angrier? You couldnât put your finger on it exactly. If you got more time with him, you were sure you could figure it out. But you didnât, so trust was fragile, and oh how you hated that. Maybe he was more along your line of thinking than you thoughtâŚbut you couldnât know for sure unless you had more data. After all, he could have escaped the Empire and left with his brothers if he had wanted. But he had chosen the Empire after allâŚ
You hesitated. Instead, you turned pink and only told Crosshair about your feelings for Tech (and nothing else) he merely rolled his eyes.
ââBout time one of you finally admitted it to yourselves. It was so obvious.â
You chuckled sadly. âDoesnât matter much now, does it.â You look away all pink faced and blue mood. âTheyâre all dead.â
Crosshairâs playfulness disappeared and was replaced with a deep soberness. It was Crosshairâs turn to look both ways, and consider something before sharing it with you.Â
âHeâs not dead.â
That one sentence changed everything.
âW-what do you meanâŚheâs not dead?!?â
Crosshair couldnât quite look at you, and you didnât know why. Perhaps he felt guilty for not realizing how the news of their deaths was affecting you and that they were related to the dark circles under your eyes. But you suspected there was more to it as well. You didnât press him.Â
âIt means heâs not dead. They made it off Kamino alive.â
Your mind reeled. Were you given a second chance?
âJust thought you should know.â
After you learned the true events of Kamino from Crosshair, you spent every spare moment looking for them. You used your advanced and massive skills to try to track them down. You had more knowledge about them than anyone else next to Crosshair and Cody. You tried to use that to your advantage.
At first you were full of energy and enthusiasm with your new found chance but now, sitting in the cafeteria surrounded in a sea of faceless, personalityless gray, you felt your energy waning. That day in the infirmary with Crosshair felt like ages ago and you were starting to give up. You didnât want to give up, but right now, your heart couldnât handle any more disappointment. Day after day of no resultsâŚwho could blame you. You had to give them that though, at least they were well hidden and hopefully safe.
You stopped meddling with your unappetizing food and looked down at the gray uniform you wore on a daily basis. It was neat, tidy, impeccable, just how you liked things. In fact, some say it could have defined you. Back in the day, everyone always joked that you were so much like Crosshair because next to him, you would have been the neatest one in the squad (if you belonged with them). But it was so devoid of life. Somehow when the Batch wore gray, it was exciting. When you wore it, it felt meaningless. Your heart thudded a little harder, causing your chest to ache. If Wrecker was here, surely heâd slap you on the back like he always did. Heâd cause you to throw your soup off balance and spill it on the spotless clothes. Youâd scrunch up your face in false anger, complaining how long itâd take you to get the stain out and heâd laughâŚ
You got tired of your thinking and picked up your datapad, flipping through the channels for a distraction. You found yourself going through some unusual channels, ones the Empire didnât approve of (you bypassed those codes so you could access any information you couldâjust one of many things Tech taught you) and ones you never really cared about. You also widened the range so you could gather information and watch things from all the Rims. You just hoped to come across something distracting enough to get your mind off this for a bit. Then you could start your search again with a fresh mind. You turned down the volume so you wouldnât be detected or bothersome to the quickly filling cafeteria. No one came to your table in the corner yet. That suited you fine. You didnât feel like being bothered.
One channel offered cooking. Not interesting enough for right now. Ring fights. You quickly turned that off. Riot racingâŚyou almost switched the channel but your hand hovered for a minute, reluctantly curious. Might be interesting. When you served some time with General Skywalker, he mentioned pod-racing a few times and how fun it was. Maybe this was like that.Â
You set the datapad down, leaning it against your water capsule and propping it up with the tray and soon you were sucked into the world of racing. It was enthralling. Spellbound, you were glued to your screen and your chair, losing all interest in the happenings around you. The track was dangerous and unpredictable. The contestants even more so as it seemed anything could go in this game. You knew Safa Toma was sketchy. A lot of the Outer-Rim planets were dangerous this way. Not to mention all the behind the scenes gambling to add to the pressure. Your mind started turning wheels, thinking about the contestants and why they were racing.Â
You had to admit, you understood the attraction. You were having fun yourself watching the races, trying to predict the unpredictable, and rooting for a racer. Your eyes went wide and a smile started to form at the corners of your lips. This was just what you needed. You missed the first race but the recaps served you well. You were able to catch up in no time. TAY-O was a new racer but very keen. He won the first, but you watched him crash in the second. That was too bad. You sort of felt sorry for him even though he was a droid. Being double teamed was such a rude move! You decided you wanted to root for him in the next race.Â
There was a brief intermission, so you started to search details about the place and the racers and their sponsors for fun. Seeing as how this was live, it was pretty exciting. You shifted in your seat and put your legs up on the chair in front of you to get more comfortable. Then you relaxed against the wall. There were a few races left and your shift ended for the day. You could sit here all evening if you wanted toâŚ
The announcements started for the new race which called your attention back to the games. You switched the screen back to the track. Your stomach rumbled and you realized you hadnât touched your food in the first race. Somehow, it looked so much more appealing now than before. You eagerly rearranged your tray so it was closer. A stupid grin started to form on your face. This race was going to be good, you could just feel it!
âAll right! Place your bets! Our racers are ready. Safa Tomaâs Riot Champion, Jet Venim! Bosco, âthe Mad Bomberâ BrixâŚ.â The announcerâs voice boomed into the microphone, excitedly listing off the names.
Spooning your soup, you let your mind wander, having already read about all them during the break. You wondered if TAY-O would win again. His strategy seemedâŚflawed, you couldnât help but notice. After all, he was nearly destroyed in the last race. No doubt this Cid person had him put back together. The animosity between TAY-O and Venim would be big this game. Something had to be between the gamblers themselves for those two racers. They singled out each other too much.Â
You reached for your cup of juice and brought it to your lips. You wanted to be fully attentive when the racing started. Then the announcer hit you with:
âAnd finally, Teeeeeeeeech!â
You nearly jumped out of your seat, spitting out your juice, dangerously close to tipping your soup and coughing as bad as General Grievous. Tears sprung to your eyes and adrenaline started to course through your veins.Â
Excuse me? What? It couldnât be?! You wanted to squeal.
You grabbed your datapad and brought it close to your face so you wouldnât miss a thing.Â
The crowd went silent, you noticed, and so did your heart. It seemed to have stopped.Â
âTech? Anything else on this guy?â the announcer continued, âNo? Guess heâs a late arrival. Is that his name? Tech? Just Tech?â
âOh leave him alone!â You said out loud. Too loud. A few people looked over to you and you rolled your eyes, gluing them back to the screen. You didnât even know if it was your Tech but the idea of anyone making fun of that name just bothered you. Tech is a brilliant name, you ignoramus. You growled and liked the announcer a little less. It had to be a coincidence. Tech could be short for a lot of things. Technically, technology, Techno⌠It couldnât beâŚ..
Then the screen panned to a man preparing his racer, looking up a little annoyed at the camera. There you saw the familiar goggled eyes, the helmet, and the unmistakable expression you knew so wellâŚ
There he was. The man youâd been searching forâŚ
Tech.
Tech in a racer.
Tech in a racer on Safa Toma.
But why was he racing? Where were the others? What was going on? Why was he there, in a gambling pit and not even using an alias!?! Sure it was a backwater planetâŚcould hide thereâŚmaybe he felt safe using his real name for that reason. Youâd have to sort that out later.
âOkay, and here we go!â
You nearly stood from your seat as the racers went off but you forced yourself to stay down and you held your breath.
âGo get âem, Tech, you can do this.â you whispered to yourself.Â
It wasnât lost on you that TAY-O was no longer racing, and Tech was in the same racer. Your heart started to beat faster the more the gravity started to pull on you. Tech was racing for a racer who was out. Was TAY-O beyond repair? Surely the team had time to fix him before the race. You noticed there was animosity between that Venim person and TAY-OâŚwere you right about the people they were racing forâŚÂ were they enemies? What had Tech gotten himself intoâŚ
âAnd theyâre off!â
It was barely seconds into the race when one of the racers started firing on the others. Everyone was fighting for the leadâŚexcept Tech, who stayed in the back.Â
Youâre last?!?! Youâre losing! You canât lose, Tech! You were afraid of the consequences if he didnât winâŚyet, he did seem safer back there for now, letting the other racers fight it out and thin themselves a little. You knew Tech knew what he was doing so you decided to trust him. You had to. You always did before. And you had to admit, that was actually pretty strategic for a game like this.
Sure enough, the other racers were destroying each otherâand you saw it all. Whenever youâd see Techâs racer on the screen youâd get excited and nervous. You couldnât tell if it was better to see him or not seeing him. Not seeing him, you knew he was safe, but seeing himâŚwell, you got to see him and his genius flying but you couldnât help but wonder if something bad was going to happen since they seemed to show every accident victim on the screen.Â
You started groaning when he was getting shot at.
His shields are overheating. If youâre not going to use your weapons, divert the power!
The next moment, he dropped all his weapons at the pit.Â
Your jaw dropped as well. Not what I meant, Tech. You need those!!!!
The camera stayed on the shocked faces of the race crew. You smiled when you recognized Wrecker, a small worrying feeling shot threw you not seeing the others âŚbut there could be a million reasons why they werenât there; they werenât necessarily goneâŚlike that. Maybe they went to get food? Hunter would probably die if he saw Tech doing this , you thought. You saw Wrecker shyly wave at the camera. Something warm bloomed in your chest and your throat started to tighten. You couldnât help but to wave back, even though you knew he couldnât see you. You smiled looking at him all flustered. Trust me, Wreck, I know the feeling. You chuckled.
Wrecker went from shy to concerned, plastered all over his face. A small, blond girl stood next to him, the same concern reflected on hers. It was interesting to see how deep her connection to Tech seemed to be. Her time on the screen was brief, but you couldnât mistake the look on her face because you knew the feeling well.Â
You wondered who the kid was and how long sheâd known them. Maybe she could help you find them. She might be easier to locate than them if she was involved in the races there. You took a quick screen image to study later.Â
âLooks like Tech has got a vaporization wish! And has removed all his weapons!â
âOh shut up.â You mumbled.Â
You bit your lip, that bubble of anxiety starting to nest in your stomach again, but you immediately recognized why Tech did what he did.Â
His speed. Heâs a lot faster now.
You watched as he zipped along the track. You could almost see the focus in his eyes. You knew it was there of course, from experience. You could picture what his face under his helmet was.Â
Lips drawn in determination and clamped shut, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
Your heart was thumping as fast as his speeder. He was catching upâŚ
Then the two that wrecked TAY-O last race started to box Tech in.Â
Oh no. You knew what was comingâŚit was as if you were given a snippet of the future through the eyes of someone else. A sense of deja vu. You bit your lip harder. You vaguely tasted blood in your mouth and your lip swell. But it was all numb. Tears sprung up again and your breath hitched. An image of the accident flashing across your memory.Â
Please donât get caught! Please donât get caught!
You watched the two racers fire on Tech, closing in. They were lining upâŚhe was losing his shields!
You wanted to scream but you had no air in your lungs.Â
You saw the razer leave the ship in front and your eyes went wide.Â
Tech! Your heart made one last agonizing plea as the next seconds went way too fast and way too slow.Â
You watched the ship behind Tech prepare the clamper. You wanted to look away but you couldnât. If something happened to Tech, you had to know. Then, just as the ship reached out for Tech, Tech made his move. He swiftly turned out of the way and dropped back, letting the two plotters destroy themselves. At the last moment, he sped ahead and crossed the finish line.
âAaaand the winner iiiiissssss! Teeeeeech!â
You watched as the crowd rallied and cheered Tech on, chanting his name over and over again. Tears filled your eyes again but they were good tears. Relief flooded your body and you didnât realize how tight you were holding your datapad. Your fingers hurt from clutching it so hard, not to mention your jaw that had been clenched tight the whole race. You rubbed your cheeks to try to loosen the muscles stiff and sore.
Pride took root next. The smile from your mouth spread to your eyes. You were glad he was getting the attention he deserved. His skills deserved to be recognized.Â
He did the lazy salute you were always so fond of and the crowd went wild.
You crazy idiot. You chuckled to yourself and fell back against the wall, winded and exhausted as if you were racing yourself.
You sat there dazed. What had you just seen? Was this real? You had to get more information on the racersâŚwho they were racing forâŚtheir backgrounds. That would lead you to him. Youâd find him. You were so close now, you could taste it! Youâd have to get a replay of the race, just in case there were clues you missed. You were sure you could find it. You were still salty he used his own name and was on the holoshow, ruining his cover but as long as this didnât exist in Empire data, heâd be safe. Youâd make sure of that. Maybe you couldâŚ
Your train of thought was interrupted by a TK-trooper, who seated himself at your table.
âWhatâs got you all smiling pretty, hey there gorgeous?â
You smiled the brightest smile you could. âMy man was just making me proud.â You waved your datapad, careful not to show the screen.Â
He got the idea and got up. âUh, I think I forgot something.â
There ya go. Then a thought hit you. What if he liked someone else? You could easily see someone with more confidence than yourself flirting with him. He was an amazing guyâŚand now that he was a racing hero as wellâŚyou sighed. One thing at a time.
But now you had hope, hope you could see him again and finally tell him how you felt, how you didnât want to leave him again, how you would help him survive against the Empire and fight against it if it came to that. Being by his side again in the field would be enough for you even if your other hopes werenât realized.Â
You couldnât stop smiling. You couldnât believe it. Youâd found him.
The world around you kept moving. Trays clanked against tables, peopleâs talk kept getting louder, troopers were moving too and fro, coming in after their shifts to finish the day with a tasteless meal and the nightshifters rushing in to get their fill before reporting to their posts.Â
All of them living unaware of the adventure you just had in the same cafeteria. A few minutes which could change the course of your life. That made the last few months worthwhile. So you continued sitting there, unmoving in the churning rainbow of white, gray and black.
But now what? So much information was still missingâŚyou could deal with that. After all, hope had been restored. Anything was possible now. Your head buzzed. You now had a lead and you wanted to follow itâŚ
âFoodâs going to get cold if you keep staring.â a familiar, snakelike voice said, not unfriendly. Youâd know the jest in that voice anywhere.
âHey Crosshair!â
âWhatâs got you smiling all pretty and in a daydream?â
 You opened your mouth to say more but stopped.Â
You wanted to tell him. You wanted to tell him so bad. You wanted to see him proud of his brother. After all, he did have a right to know he was safe, right? But was it a good idea? PerhapsâŚTech would be safer if you didnât. If you kept this to yourself. If you just snuck away and found himâŚYou didnât know what to do. Crosshair did stay loyal to the Empire. He returned instead of leaving with his brothers. Yet he lied for their safety.
You heard a slight cough and looked up. Crosshair had one eyebrow raised curiously, almost teasingly.
âSo?â
You realized you hadnât answered. He was still waiting for a response.Â
Summery: You catch up with the Batch at last...and you can finally learn the truth about Tech and what he feels for you.
Warning: Angst with a happy ending; jealousy; feelings of anxiety.
You pulled the drop of your hood further down to obscure your face and swirled the contents of your drink. The colors spinned and turned but refused to be mixed. The blue and purple layers were separated by a yellow one and when you turned the liquid about, it created a fascinating illusion. The lights were dim in the bar where you sat, but the illumination behind the bar created just enough light to throw beams into your glass. The ice cubes caught and increased the colors. It was a good thing it was all the entertainment you needed because youâd been sitting there a long time.Â
âCan you please stop that? Youâre making me dizzy.â Your companion grumpily slurred.Â
He was bent over the counter, same as you, but his eyes darted to and fro, expertly and unsuspiciously. He turned his glass more gently, as if he were a connoisseur trying to decide how he felt about it. You didnât understand how he could be so cool and act like heâd belong in any setting. You admired it. You wished you possessed the same amazing tactics but you didnât. You were easier to read than a book. If it wasnât for him, you'd have been spotted sooner than a sore thumb a long time ago. Youâd been seen as you were, lost and far from home in a big and threatening galaxy full of scary beings. You were good with facts and figures. Data and books and computers. Dealing with people wasnât really your forte.
Of course all that time in the field refined his talents but it was a talent nevertheless. In fact, if Crosshair hadnât insisted on taking over at Safa Toma, you would have begged him to.Â
You and Crosshair walked into the Safa Toma Speedway like you owned the place. The glare and saunter were natural to him, but for you, well, it was less so. Crosshair rolled his eyes.Â
âCould you look any more phony? I asked you not to stand out. Your glare looks like youâre going to combust. Literally screaming âask me, I have a secretâ. Just relax and think about the time Wrecker spilled spaghetti sauce all over that white uniform of yours right before the decoration ceremony, and you had to wear that ridiculous looking jacket that didnât match your pants in front of the entire assembly.âÂ
You scowled at the memory and your face heated producing a fine, red blush. Youâd had to wear your oil stained brown pants from helping Tech upgrade the Marauder with a spare gray uniform jacket. They didnât match in the slightest, but were the only things you had in the closet as your spare uniform was dry-cleaning after your latest mission. You were the only one out of the ten receiving metals to look that ridiculous. Wrecker apologized profusely and Tech assured you no one seemed to notice. Maybe he hadnât, but others certainly did. You were completely and utterly humiliated.Â
âPrecisely, look annoyed and follow my lead. Youâll be fine. Try crossing your arms. Usually does something for me.âÂ
You huffed a laugh and the corners of your mouth turned up.
âWipe that smile off your face.â
âWhy? Canât smiles be just as menacing?â
âNot yours. Yours are always too sweet.â
You had to figure out if that was a compliment or an insult or both.Â
âOoookaaaayyyy.â
âAm I detecting a high level of sass?â
You tried hard not to smile, but a chuckle came out anyway.Â
âAnd they say Iâm the difficult one.â Crosshair rolled his eyes. âJust donât say anything. And try not to look like a lost puppy.â
You arrived at the apartment said to be Millegiâs, the sponsor for the racer named Venim, to test your theory about his association with âCidâ. Considering he responded with your cryptic message by saying heâd meet you. You were pretty sure you were correct.Â
Upon entering the finley furnished apartment, you saw Millegi sat reclined on his sofa, a hint of malicious humor on his face. He cut right to business just as you suspected.Â
âI hear youâre looking for Cid. What do you want with her?â
Crosshair put on his coldest face and crossed his arms over his chest. âLetâs say I have unfinished business with her, and I hear you know how to find her.â
âWhatâs in it for me?â
âI know powerful people, and trust me, Iâll make sure you disappear so fast, youâd wish Iâd gifted you with death.â
And thatâs how you found yourselves sitting in Cidâs bar. Waiting. Forever. Waiting for the runaways to return home. The longer you waited the more you wished you hadn't come. You didnât know if dreaming about this moment and wishing so hard it hurt was better than the actual waiting because right here, right now, reality was happening. In your dreams youâd run to Tech and heâd wrap his arms around you and everything would be happy and fine. You could control the outcome. Everything would turn out how you planned no matter the scenario.
This was the unknown. You didnât know what would happen. And to top it off, what would happen, would be final. No more alternate scenarios. No more differing factors. You didnât know if Tech would even be happy to see you. What if he didnât even remember you?!? Despite Crosshairâs assurances and annoyance at something that should be obvious (which was honestly more comforting than the assurances) the familiar anxiety bubbled in your stomach and you felt the bile rise in your throat. Unconsciously, your knee started bouncing against the chair.Â
âHunterâll hear that all the way from the space port.â
âHa. Ha.â
âThis isnât exactly an easy moment for me, either.â
Your knee stopped bouncing and regret seeped into your bones.Â
âIâm so sorry, Crosshair. I havenât been considerate. Iâve been so focused on myself and my problemsâŚâ You sighed and looked down. âIâve done so much wrong.â You ran your fingers through your hair, trying not to disturb the cloak too much. âI canât even seem to do right by my friends. You deserved so much more consideration. Your step took more courage than mine; and I havenât expressed enough how grateful I am that you came with me.â
âYouâve expressed it almost every day since we left.â
You shrugged. âI am grateful. I just want all of us together again, the way it should be. But this waiting is unbearable. Not knowing how theyâll accept us is the worst part. I mean, youâre theyâre brother. Youâre more likely to be wanted than me.â
âDonât count on it after our last meeting. Not to mention what Iâve done since.â
âCrosshairââ Youâd been over this so many times with him. Thinking of different ways to defend him but he was obstinate in his self-loathing.
âSave it.â
Crosshair glared but the ice melted when he saw the hurt in your eyes. He sent an apology look, not able to find the words he wanted to say, and not even knowing exactly what to say. But spending weeks with Crosshair on the run, youâd learn how to communicate with him this way. You felt you knew him on a whole new level and could talk without words.Â
You wished you could still say the same about Tech.Â
Then a noise caught your attention. The three patrons whoâd been second-handedly annoying the both of you for the past few hours excitedly welcomed someone.Â
âWell look whoâs back!â the one you ascertained was Bolo, said.Â
âHey, when are we getting another dejarik game! Itâs been pretty boring without you.â the one named Ketch added.Â
The female pirate by the identity of âPheeâ spoke next. Youâd been listening to her stories and they seemed too fantastical to be true, but they were entertaining to listen to while you waited. You thought Crosshairâs eyes would get stuck behind his skull with how often he rolled his eyes while she spoke, claiming he had better ârealâ stories. But he must have enjoyed them enough because he kept listening and making off-handed comments.
âWell look who it is, if it isnât my favorite group of clones.âÂ
You peaked in the direction to see the Bad Batch file in and try to scoot past the overly excited, âboredâ patrons. Probably to talk to Cid if they had just gotten done with a job.Â
âLimping again, Brown eyes? You really ought to be more careful.â Phee put her hand on Techâs shoulder and you almost lurched at the hint of softness in her voice. He had found someone after all. In the corner of your eye, you saw Crosshair give you a sympathetic look but you refused to meet his gaze.Â
âMaybe this was a dumb idea.â
âNo.â Crosshair said sternly. You looked up to meet his eyes and saw a kind earnestness in them. âNo it wasnât. No matter how this ends, what they say, weâre out of the Empire and thatâs all that counts. I have you to thank for that.â
You smiled faintly. âWe could always trek out on our own. I have the brains and you haveâŚwell everything else.â
Crosshair chuckled. âLetâs say we get this over with.â
You could only let out a breathy âOkay.â
You were aware of a hush that came over the boisterous group.Â
âWho are those two?â You heard Hunter stage whisper. You didnât have to look over your shoulder to know heâd crossed his arms and was staring at the two of you.Â
âDunno, theyâve been sitting there since before we came in. Long time.â Ketch said.Â
âHm.âÂ
You could bet they were sharing concerned looks among each other, trying to decide what to do. Your breathing quickened.
You heard Crosshairâs chair turn. âNo one important. Just your brother and your friend.âÂ
Okay, Crosshair, maybe not the best intro.Â
You stayed glued in place, not wanting to face them.Â
âCrosshair?â You couldnât tell which of the brothers said that. All the world started to turn before your eyes. The blood rushed to your ears and you completely missed the exchange happening between the torn Batch. The loud fuzziness overtook all that was happening around you. You were only focused on the void, empty feeling.Â
Tech has someone.
âGlad youâre back, brother.â broke through the haze along with the clanking of armor. You could only guess that meant they embraced.Â
They wanted Crosshair back. Thatâs good. Maybe I should just leave quietlyâŚ
Maybe you didnât have a place with them anymore but you did return their prodigal brother to them and that was reward enough.Â
Then you heard teary laughing and other clanky embraces. You heard an excited little girl squish her face into her brotherâs chest or shoulder (depending on whether or not Crosshair knelt for her or not) and cry happily.Â
This was your chance. You moved swiftly and silently like Crosshair had shown you over the last few weeks and made your way toward the back exit. The shadows of the backroom covered you and you took one last glance where the light poured in. You saw happy faces of a reunited family. Laughing and jesting and happy, relieved tears were poured out. Just the way they should be; you felt a smile growing on your face. Yes, all was well.Â
You turned to leave with that last happy memory.Â
You made your way out the back door and out the alley toward the front entrance and slowly started to make your way to a spaceport to book a passage with the fake ID you made. You had a few credits left. You could get by on them until you thought of what to do next.Â
The day was ending and the world was alive. The day-timers were heading home from work and the night-shifters were getting up and going to their postsâŚor bars. Wherever they kept vigil. That wasnât for you to know or care. The sun was setting and giving off the most beautiful orangeâŚ
You heard your name and you turned around surprised. You knew who the voice belonged to and a part of you wondered if you were dreaming. There would be no way Tech was actually chasing you, could there be?Â
You saw him bobbing in the crowd, looking about frantically. Youâve never seen him so scattered. He called your name again, louder, more frantic. If you had half a brain left, you would have answered. But you were tired, numb, and heartbroken. Your feet hurt and you didnât know if you could face him. Instead of leaving quietly or approaching him, you stood there with your mouth agape, watching as if this were a holofilm and you were not the main character on the screen. You couldnât be the main character. Youâd plain forgotten your lines.Â
Your feet decided to move without your brainâs permission. You didnât know if you were going to go toward Tech or turn away, and you never found out because in that moment, Tech spotted you and your eyes locked. He smiled a full smile and pushed through the moving masses toward you and was by your side in an instant.
âMeshâla, youâre here! Youâre here!â Tech excitedly said. There was a dancing fire in his eyes and a laugh on his lips. âI canât believe my calculations, youâre here!â Before another moment passed, you were wrapped in a hug. His arms came around you and brought you close to his chest. He lowered his head so it was resting on yours, then stayed silent for so long it started to worry you. Tech was never silent.
âTech.â Your voice cracked from how dry it was.
He parted and cupped your face.
âMeshâla.âÂ
You felt your whole face on fire and you couldnât look Tech in the eye. Your ears were pink to the tips. You knew what that word meant. He couldnât possibly mean it. Did Crosshair put him up to this?
âWhat?â Tech looked taken aback and slightly hurt.
Woops, must have said that part out loud.Â
You cleared your throat. âDid CrosshairâŚI meanâŚâ tears filled your eyes and you sighed. You tried to look anywhere but him but his hand, though gentle, was firm and held your head in place. Besides, you were loath to lose the contact just yet. âCrosshair knewâŚso I was wondering if he sent youâŚtold you toâŚâ
âCrosshair knew what? Told me to?â He repeated.
You took in a deep breath and held it. Youâd say it fast.Â
âCrosshair knew that I loved you and was searching for you forever and when I saw you racing I knew I could find you and really wanted to find you so I decided to trust him to see if he wanted to come and we left the Empire together to find you. Youâre a good racer, that was good racing.â You let out the rest of the air in a heavy sigh. One breath.Â
Tech smiled. âYou were searching for me?â
You tried to look at your shoes. âYes.â Your voice was so small but that was all you had left.Â
âYou love me?â
âYes!â That was a little more vehement and you rolled your eyes. You had a transport to catch. If he didnât mind, you really had to get going. âIt KILLED me when I thought you were dead. I didnât knowâŚâ
He leaned in closer to your ear.Â
âI love you too.â
You let out a sob and pressed your face into his chest. Your heart felt like it exploded and adrenaline rushed through your veins and you started to feel dizzy. Your muscles relaxed and the tired, achiness returned, reminding you you needed to rest. Tech felt the extra weight and shifted to support you. But your happiness was replaced with confusion.
âButâŚyour girlfriend? How can you love me if you have a girlfriend.â
âGirlfriend?â Tech sounded so surprised you had to look him in the face. His eyebrow was up in a quizzical form. The one he always made when he was drawing a blank. You loved this expression because it was so rare, and he could never replicate it when he tried at your request. It was a look of complete honesty. You almost laughed at the hope your heart started to thud to.Â
âPhee, the pirate womanâŚâ
âShe is most definitely not my girlfriend. Did she say she was? Or did you draw that conclusion from her rather flirtatious greeting?â
âMaybe I did have incomplete data.â
âDid you notice I did not address the flirtations?â
âNoâŚmy mind was too busy reeling.â
Tech smiled again, but this time mischievously.Â
âWhat if I give you a better subject for you to meditate on?â
He leaned in and kissed you. Softly and perfectly. You broke it first.
âWeâll have to continue later.â You chuckled, âI canât stop smiling.â You rested your head against his chest and heaved a relieved sigh.
âI agree, we shall have to continue this exercise later.â
You laughed and started back toward the bar. Tech limped after you and your smile turned upside down. You hadn't noticed before. He moved with such urgency and swiftness. It had to hurt.
âYouâre limping.â
âYes, I had a misfortunate accident on the last mission.â He shrugged. âItâs nothing.â
âNo itâs not. Let me have a look.â You returned to his side and brought Techâs arm around your neck so he could lean on you for support. âWhereâs your ship? Do you have any ice for me to help bring down the swelling, or should I run back to Cidâs real quick to get the ice then bring you to the ship orâŚâÂ
You were cut off by Techâs chuckle. âWe have the necessary supplies on the ship. That way.â He nudged his head in the right direction, but his gaze remained on you. It sparkled with all the love and adoration you never thought youâd see aimed toward yourself from the goggled eyes. Your heart swelled and your lips radiated that happiness with the biggest smile youâve ever made. You were where you were meant to be. You were home at last.Â
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