#teamgrover

As I sit in my 13 X 12 room starring at my daffodil colored walls, I am reminded of my new responsibilities as a mother. Although I had most of these responsibilities for some time now, my duties were geared more toward adolescents. Now I have to restructure my life and duties. Because there have been some major changes to the Grover household. Mainly, we now have a beautiful two-month-old baby boy. The last time I had an infant in the home was about 12 years ago. Whoa! 12 years is a long time. I often feel out of practiced, overwhelmed, exhausted, fatigued, and out of patience. And having an infant who is EXTREMELY colicky is like throwing fuel on an open fire…disastrous! 

About twelve to fifteen hours out of the day, Jace Evan is crying, nonstop and I usually get a massive migraine. Is this how I remember it? Is this how it was for me 12 years ago when I had my last baby? Did I constantly feel haunted by sleepless nights, never-ending breast soreness, and backaches? Did I take a shower more than once every other day? Or did I just walk around smelling like day old breast milk? As I reflect on my previous years as a mother, I have come to realize that having a baby after 35 years old is very challenging. 

Journeying down this path of later motherhood has its rewards. But it is also challenging!

I do not have to tell the rest of you moms that motherhood can be quite challenging regardless of your age. No matter who the mother is, she will experience her own set of challenges. For me…

The challenge is returning to a life as a stay-at-home mother after spending over eleven years in higher education and five years working as a sociology instructor.

. Despite the challenges, instead of pursuing a life as an educator in higher education, I am embracing my new calling as “Director of Childhood and Development.” This is a fancy way of saying… I am a “domestic engineer.” My job description is the same as any other mother: household CEO, Event Coordinator, Chef, Educator, Bookkeeper, and Chauffeur. Of course, the list does not stop here. This is just a short list of mothers’ responsibilities in the home. 

I find many of these responsibilities are complicated by the everyday duties of a new mother. For example, it is hard for me to prepare a meal calendar or purchase a gallon of milk from my local grocer between breast pump sessions, nursing, washing cloth diapers, cooking, dropping and picking up my daughter from school, and doing laundry. Having a newborn baby who wants to be constantly held make it hard for me to do simple domestic work.  Even now as I type this blog post, I do so while holding little baby Jace in one arm. I do not post these things to complain about my responsibilities as a mother. No! I welcome motherhood. My hope is that many of you will read this blog and make suggestions for me as I go forward in embracing motherhood in later life. I hope you continue to embark on this journey with me and…

This is my first blog post in “Live to Embrace Motherhood,” and I have much to say. I was inspired to write this blog when I made the decision to embrace motherhood with all I possess. This decision did not come all at once. I struggled for several months with one of two choices: continue my education and eventually become a professor of sociology or “embrace motherhood” wholeheartedly leaving behind the chance to become a professor. As I struggled with this decision, I prayed to my Heavenly Father to know whether I was making a mistake by giving up on my education. Answers to my question did not come immediately. Nevertheless, answers did come and my choice led me to a remarkable path of discipleship.

The answer to this question began with inspiration I received during a general conference address. I will discuss the answer I receive from the address later on this post. I was unsure as to where my life was headed. My children, who were seventeen, fourteen, and eleven at the time, were not dependent on a mother who needed to be home during the day. Nevertheless, I had always felt a need to be home just in case of some emergency. But I was a single mom for most of my children's lives. So, I was unable to be a stay-at-home mom. Before marrying my husband, Austin Grover, I had to play the role of breadwinner and nurturer. I also went to school full-time. This was extremely difficult. By the time I met and married Austin, I was three and a half years into my sociology and psychology degrees, and help a job as a preschool teacher at a local childcare facility. Being independent was hard, but it helped me become self-reliant during a time that was most challenging...single-hood.  Embracing motherhood was never an option for me before I married Austin. Now when I talk of embracing motherhood, I speak of being able to assume the role of a stay-at-home mom whose primary duties are work inside the home. 

Several years after my marriage to Austin, nine years to be exact, I am now faced with the choice of embracing motherhood. Conflicted between being a stay-at-home mother and being a college professor, I turned to God in prayer. But I didn’t get an answer for some time. 

 As time went on, I sought after advice from my husband, friends, bishop, and mother. Obviously, everyone had a different opinion as to what I should do. This left me feeling more confused than ever. Some of my friends were encouraging me to finish school. “You won’t have this opportunity again, and you have a full ride with a scholarship. Take it girl.” Although I saw the logic in this response, I did not want to make a life altering decision without seriously weighing the consequences and consulting with my Heavenly Father.  Well, more time had passed and I got pregnant with my fourth child, Jace Evan. This pregnancy was very complicated with medical issues, which required some much needed bed rest. I could not go to school or work if I wanted to, at this point.

This down time, however, gave me a lot of time to search the scriptures diligently to find answers I so desperately needed.

One day as I was listening to this general conference address, the spirit spoke to me and I was reminded of my duties as a mother. I was reminded of the role I am supposed to play in the lives of my children. This alone changed my desire to continue my education. But I had other experiences that made a contribution to my final decision.

Part of the answer to my question, “should I continue my education or embrace motherhood” came when I was preparing one of my Sunday lessons for church. I was reading the Joseph Fielding Smith Manual in preparation for Lesson 4 on Strengthening and Preserving the Family when one particular quote popped out at me, as if these were the only words on the page.

"Parent and child must be willing to put family responsibilities first in order to achieve family exaltation.” 

These powerful words clarified the meaning of motherhood for me, and gave me a deeper understanding of what it means to be an eternal family. Motherhood means to embrace your children with all your heart and soul. It means putting your family responsibilities above anything else in your life. Motherhood means sacrificing your time to raise Heavenly Father's children, no matter the cost.

I am not saying that ALL women should stop going to school and quit their jobs in order to embrace motherhood. That would be outrageous. Let’s face the facts! Most mothers need to work. especially in our economy. But for those of us who have a choice not to work outside the home, we should aim to embrace this divine calling without interference from the outside world. 

Another quote that changed my outlook on motherhood is the following stated by President Boyd K. Packard:

“Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels.”

Whoa! What a tribute to mothers. I am in awe and humbled by these gracious words. I never understood how great the calling of motherhood is to our Father in Heaven. I know he smiles down on mothers who strive to embrace this holy calling. The aforementioned experiences gave me a new perspective of motherhood and women’s responsibility to their family. My prayers were  answered concerning my role in this life as a mother.  I now know my duty in this life is to be a full-time mother and I plan to fulfill the responsibilities of this holy calling by embracing motherhood! I know this is the best way I can be a disciple of Christ. I hope all you will join me as I embark on this journey to....