It seems like each year, I keep myself busy with working two different jobs. This year, I decided to take on teaching for a change.
Back in April, I saw a post listing from my university for a position as a clinical instructor for behavioral health. Since I always wanted to try teaching once in my life, I decided to meet up with the Director of Nursing at my former school. As luck had it, I met her and after about 2 hours of chatting, it seems that she already placed me down for the position, I just needed to hand in required paperwork.
Fast forward to the beginning of the semester, I was on my own with some mentoring guidance from other instructor, but overall lesson plans were mine to create. With all that in mind, it was a bit overwhelming when a close family member ended up needing mental health care and brought for psych emergency. Juggling between not just one member since in an Asian family, if one is suffering, the entire family suffers, I also needed to teach and lead my students in preparation for mental health.
It was scary at first, but I knew I wanted my students to understand the effects and importance of mental health, especially if they wish to be amazing nurses one day.
In the beginning, they all wanted to experience more hands on skills, which they were all used to in their previous clinical placement. It took some educating and reassurance to let them know that in mental health the important skill they need to master is not hands on but instead communication skills.
And in order for them to improve their communication skills, they needed to be in the present with their patients. Being anxious and ambitious as they are, it was difficult for some of them to actually relax and get used to slowing their pace and sharpening their observation skills.
In order to teach them to build empathy for others, I gave them reflection assignments to do. Having them understand their own emotions and judgment of others allowed them to see the patients' perspective and how their fears of being judged and being vulnerable in a hospital setting can be seen and understood.
Getting to know each student individually also reminded me of my younger self in nursing school. And guess what? I was one of those students who would hide in the corner hoping to slide through each class and graduate with a passing grade. Only a few of my professors remembered me and one in particular who evaluated me as a clinical instructor told me that she noticed how much more confident and professional I have become.
Seeing how some of my students lack self confidence in themselves, I told them stories about myself. How I wasn't the perfect student, how I failed a clinical class once, how it took me almost a year to find my first job, how coming back home - it took me another year to find a stable job, how I got engaged and got dumped, and how I thought I should punished myself because one patient of mine deteriorated on my watch.
It took some months of reflection, of being vulnerable, and of learning to love myself, setting boundaries to be able to teach them that failure does not mean the end, does not mean that it will be a constant pattern, and definitely does not mean that you can't be more. Change is bound to happen if you continue to believe and work hard.
Tomorrow is the last day for them and I've made something for each of them using the positive qualities they written for each other. This last gift is to remind them that we are usually the hardest and most critical about ourselves, but to others, they see qualities that most of the time we failed to take notice. I want them to know their self worth and continue to grow as amazing people.
As for me now, finishing up my semester of teaching. Taking a break next semester for myself and other plans I have. While my boyfriend finish up his finals for law school, I'll probably surprise him with some of his favorite foods. Not sure if we'll plan any vacation together anytime soon but I like it how it is -- stress free.
