#teaandcigarettes

Street scene in Fujian #teaandcigarettes #steelandporcelain #streettea #alleytea #white2tea

#stilllife #teaandcigarettes #white2tea

For an afternoon smoke. It's not too sweet like last time. I've been known to over do it when I'm lonely. As if the sugar could dissolve the darkness of my empty apartment. I can't force anyone to hang out here, and the nice toys are easily shadowed by the inevitable drive home. Everyone's got someone to go back to bed with, and I get it. What muddles the whole thing is that I don't believe them when they say they're glad to. My best friend told me he doesn't do fun things anymore the last time I drove him home smashed back to his car in our neighboring home town. I almost cried but I knew he wouldn't say something like that if he wasn't already settled in his seat. What about our wasteland adventures and road trips up the coast, punk rock shows and expensive toasts. Is that who we are now? Talking about giving up and giving up on talking about it. I have to save him but that could mean bringing up the conversation we pretend we didn't have one year ago. I made my own bed when I committed to guy, and I can't be his sugar tits anymore. I wonder if that's why he settled. I wonder if I pushed him into the train. I hope not. I hate myself enough without carrying that weight.