#tdtwc

“The Dead Things We Carry” by @mediawhorefics Inspired Playlist

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i’m so sorry for taking so long to reply but that’s so precious! i would never ever write a main character death. i’ll give them pain sure but not kill them off that'd be sooo awful. what are you sending your friend that she was afraid like that ?? hopefully, she ended up liking it when she realised they weren’t dying haha. and hopefully, she enjoyed moy too x 

bahahaha 😂😂😂 that’s so cute !! i love when stuff happens randomly like that kjfnjndjkfdks

objectively speaking, i think my best fic is probably ‘tired tired sea’. i think it’s the most honest and heartfelt. i was saying something really deeply personal with it, which i only realised halfway through, but it impacts the way i see it massively. like... my best friend gave me a physical copy of it for my birthday and rereading bits of it moved me to tears which... doesn’t really happen lol. like... not to say i always look back on everything i’ve written with shame and an extremely critical eye, but.... yk. i think the melancholic writing style suits me and i’ve done a good job with it in this story. and i think i also did a good job with harry’s journey even though it was hard. it’s also my most popular fic so either everyone agrees it is the best or it’s just less weird than my other stories so it resonated with more people? 

as for my favourite... well, i guess tts is high up there for that as well. but i’m also incredibly fond of ‘the dead things we carry’. i love what i did with that fic. it’s not a particularly big fic or a particularly popular one but i still love the way i used story shape/format & flashbacks to express the main theme (that opening ourselves to love can help heal trauma). 

Think: What are 3-5 of your favorite pieces that you’ve written? (Can be fanfic or not…)

Bonus Prompt: Write yourself a positive review, perhaps as if you were a separate fan reading it for the first (or fiftieth) time. As you did for the last prompt, try to make it effusive, specific, and encouraging. Again, extra bonus points for posting it publicly and linking it. (If you’re afraid of coming off as self-important or conceited, you can blame this workshop for the self-plug. In our experience, a healthy ego helps in doing the vulnerable work of editing and publishing. ;)

shoutout to @authorsworkshop for making me SWEAT trying to write this. i don’t know that i ever could write myself a review as a reader, but i am gonna try to say nice things about my stuff for a bit. i’m nowhere near confident enough in my original writing to talk about that so here’s some fic babbles for you... i think all of my favourite fics i’ve ever written are ones where i gave myself a specific challenge or asked myself the question ‘but am i good enough to DO that?’ and then set off to prove ‘yes, yes i am’. i think part of it is that i really love to try things, be in different tropes or pov or structure.... i like to challenge myself that way and if i fall flat on my face, or if it’s not fun then whatever yk ?? 

the dead things we carry 

September ‘49 He hasn’t seen him since that day in France, that horrible muddy day where for one terrifyingly long second, Louis really thought he was going to die. He winces with the phantom pain, the hand not holding his cane going to his stomach automatically, remembering the franticness, the tenderness, of Harry’s hands while Louis was bleeding out.

This is the man who saved Louis’ life.

For one second, Louis fears Harry won’t recognise him, but his eyes widen when he turns to his left and they meet Louis’. He takes a step forward, reaching for him with a shaky hand before stopping himself.

“Louis,’ Harry says with a shudder and Louis doesn’t think his name has ever carried more weight.

This is the only man Louis ever thought about kissing for real.

“Oh,” Mrs. Padley says, clearly taken aback. “You two know each other?”

There are some things people never fully come home from. Until, one day, if they’re lucky, home comes to them.

i don’t say this very often about my stuff but i genuinely love this fic. it might be my only fic that i genuinely fully 100% love. i’m so proud of it. i really wanted to say something with the format and give the story depth and symbolic meaning with it, and i truly think i succeeded ?? i wanted to write a story about trauma and surviving trauma and the healing power of love and like.... how opening yourself to that love is healing so i used the flashback in reverse to show that through opening himself to harry’s love, louis manages to go to a happier place that echoes who he was pre-trauma. aka that love doesn’t erase trauma but brings you closest to your true self ?? idk idk. i also did a lot of research for this fic, reading about gay men and women’s experiences in the army during wwii which was an interesting and eye-opening experience. i feel like i learned a lot through writing this fic. i even incorporated some war stories from my own family as a little homage into the fic so i feel like it’s my fic that just... holds the most ?? if that makes sense? i also had a lot of fun with some of the p&p aspects of it and harry being this coveted bachelor and kind of poking fun at his irl media image. i think that fic is funny yk? i always struggle writing funny stuff because it’s so subjective but i’m proud of the comedy in that fic. but yeah i feel like i balanced the angst and comedy well and it’s just.... a really soft fic. 

tired tired sea 

As a B&B owner on the most remote of all the British Isles, Louis Tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sole companions. Until, one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.

i..... really struggle with things to say about this fic because it is extremely personal to me and out of everything i’ve ever written, it’s probably the one piece that has the most me in it. if i think about it too long (esp. if i think about how many people have read it) i feel really icky haha. it’s my love letter to scotland and to who i am right now i guess. it’s just really really personal in so many ways even though i haven’t lived through any of the situations depicted in it, there’s just something quintessentially me that i’ve put in the core of that story. it’s like my soul is nestled somewhere in there yk ? which is just... such a vulnerable position to be in. it’s terrifying actually. but i’m really proud of myself for publishing it because i’m very closed off and it was scary but i did it anyway :) it’s always gonna be really special to me because of that. the fact that it had such a wonderful response is just... cherry on top ! (even tho receiving texts from friends being like LOUIS IS YOU IN THIS FIC UH was .... mortifying to say the least) 

on the other hand, there’s only two super common fic tropes i always said i really didn’t want to write because i think they deserve so much care and attention if you’re gonna write them without having lived through them yourself and that’s domestic abuse and substance abuse (hello tts & tbow i am a CLOWN). so when i got the prompt for this fic i automatically thought nope, not for me. i don’t know enough about substance abuse and the recovery process to write about it realistically and the last thing i want to do is be disrespectful. but the idea just... wouldn’t leave me alone so i jumped in and obvs it’s not perfect, but i’m quite proud of the way i handled it overall. i was really careful every step of the way in what i put in the story and hopefully, that shows in the final product. 

through eerie chaos 

For as long as anyone can remember, Old Hillsbridge Manor has always been believed to be haunted. Everyone in the village agrees and keeps a respectful, fearful, distance. New in town after a bad breakup and an internship that led to disappointment rather than a permanent job, Harry Styles figures taking pictures of the decrepit building could be a great new creative project. Or at least a much-needed distraction while he searches for a job and crashes at his parents’ new house. No one warned him about the apparitions though; about the music, the laughter, the people who flicker and vanish when you call after them, the echoes of a past that should be long gone… Harry has never believed in spirits but even he can admit that there’s something weird going on. What starts as mere curiosity evolves into a full-blown investigation and soon enough, Harry finds himself making friends with an aristocrat from the 1920s and struggling with finding the best way to tell him that he’s dead.The Ghost Hunter AU where Niall lives to prove ghosts are real, Zayn is a skeptical librarian and Harry gets caught up in a century-old mystery and catches feeling in the process.

ok this fic ain’t perfect and i’d probably write it better if i did it now BUT i do love it a lot. like... lbr the opening is way too long, i know a lot of people find it boring/that there isn’t much happening in it etc etc. and yk i don’t fully disagree. but it has all my favourite things in it (historical au/time travel au/ghosts/mysteries/ridiculous over the top romance/side ziall/sacrifices for love/etc etc) and i’m really proud of what i did. 

 i set myself quite a concrete challenge when i decided to write that fic which was to see if i could write a good plot twist that changes the reader’s entire view of the story in a way that can hold up against the scrutiny of a second reading. and again, not perfect, but i think i did okay. i managed to surprise a couple of people, which is what i wanted to do. to kind of... flip expectations. because we’re so used with fics for things to be formulaic and trope-y and tags to tell us everything, i wanted to do something a bit different where people would be like : where is this bitch going with this ??? while at the same time paying homage to all my favourite cheesy time travelling/historical romances. its one of my fav genre so i had a lot of fun writing my own version of it.