#tbjae

i know i haven’t posted anything here in a long time :’) aside from general “life is stressful aaaaaa” stuff, i have simply fallen quite far out of the yoi fandom and stumbled harder into my other fandoms

anyone who may be subscribed to my ao3 account could have noted the posting of a new story from a different fandom! and it’s something i’ve been posting about a lot on my main blog, and it’s something that i am SO excited about because it’s a new kind of content for me, and my first time writing for this fandom! 

but trust me, i haven’t forgotten yoi, and i sure haven’t forgotten tbjae! i’ve just been having a hard time about it because i have changed a lot since i started writing tbjae, and i feel like it’s not quite the way i want it to be anymore. which has made any kind of effort to continue really disheartened, and that story is meant to be much lighter than i could produce!

i don’t ever want to drop it, it was my first real attempt at a longer fic (and longer indeed- it’s, what, almost 50k?? JEEZ) and i have promised to finish it. and i stand by that. but.

my new story takes precedent right now, because it is writing it makes me happy! and that’s what this whole thing is about!!

Part of it was due to a lot happening in my life, partly because I had no motivation. 

Not going to lie, 2019 was a lot for me to deal with. I’m going to spare you all of the nitty-gritty, but it involved me telling my mother that I had accounts online and also that I had a girlfriend, which were HUGE for me, as well as working full-time equivalent, being a full-time student, having my sister move back in with us….

I’m not going to pretend like I didn't break… a lot of promises. I’m sorry. I cannot apologize enough for the amount of times I said I would update and just… didn’t. Some times I didn’t even try, sometimes I did, but I couldn’t get out more than a few words.

A lot of this was due to me falling out of love with Yuri!!! On Ice for a while. I went through so many fandoms in 2019, Banana Fish,Bungou Stray Dogs, Good Omens, All for the Game, Captive Prince. And I love all of those series and fandoms, but at some point I had to remind myself about yuri on ice, and about the promises I made. 

Despite me inviting so many other series into my life, yuri on ice still has more meaning to me than all of them. It brought me out of a depression, and it gave me something to hold onto. It’s because of yuri on ice that I met my girlfriend, and through her one of my best friends. It got me reading fanfiction after 2 years without it, and it is because of yuri on ice that I began seriously writing and sharing fanfiction of my own.

And more than just that, it’s because of you all that I write. Because of the nice words you left on my stories, the messages and all of the love you showed my stories. 

I know that I have lost a lot of you to the same thing that I was lost to. Other fandoms, more active, more interesting to you now, and that’s okay. I will never resent people for leaving a fandom that no longer brings them joy the way it once did. Not everyone has the attachment that I do to this series, and that’s okay. 

I am no longer the writer I once was, I don’t have the time or energy to write like I used to, and I may not always have the motivation. But for all of my broken promises and empty words, there is one thing I will never lie to you about.

The Beginnings Just Another End will have a complete ending. 

I will never abandon this story forever. This story means the world to me, even after all this time. I have never put this much thought, time, or work into something before. Not like this. I have 126 pages of plot, ideas, thoughts, plans, and story. 126 pages of this. And I will not leave it without a conclusion. 

This is one promise I will always keep.

So thank you. Thank you for your words, your encouragement. Thank you to those who have stuck with me through this from day 1, 2, 3, 60, 129, 475. Thank you to anyone who is only finding this now, for taking a chance on me.

Title: the beginnings just another end Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, Victor Nikiforov, Phichit Chulanont, Yuri Plisetsky, Nikolai Plisetsky, Yakov Feltsman, Makkachin, Vicchan, Original Characters Pairings: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Phichit Chulanont & Katsuki Yuuri, Katsuki Yuuri & Yuri Plisetsky, Victor Nikiforov & Yuri Plisetsky, Teen and Up Audiences Chapter: 22/? ; maybe i’m waking up... today

Title: the beginnings just another end Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, Victor Nikiforov, Phichit Chulanont, Yuri Plisetsky, Nikolai Plisetsky, Yakov Feltsman, Makkachin, Vicchan, Original Characters Pairings: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Phichit Chulanont & Katsuki Yuuri, Katsuki Yuuri & Yuri Plisetsky, Victor Nikiforov & Yuri Plisetsky, Teen and Up Audiences Chapter: 21/? ; ... step right back