So the thing with The Boyfriend Experience is that it always surprises me.  I never see things coming in that story.  The last chapter?  I was TOTALLY 100% CONVINCED that Yuuri was going to ignore Victor.  When Yuuri answered Victor’s phone call?  I honestly could NOT BELIEVE IT.  Seriously.  So I thought, huh, what are the most unlikely things to happen in the next chapter?  Because it’s the unlikely things that will probably happen.  So here’s a list of 12 seemingly unlikely things that will most likely actually happen in chapter 15:

Victor will dye his hair red and get it cut and it will look fantastic.  Everyone will be impressed and slightly envious.  

Phichit will become a contestant on the Apprentice.  He wants an investment to start his own hamster breeding business. Lord Sugar is unimpressed. Everyone is unimpressed, actually, but nobody minds because it makes for good TV.

Yuuri will not end things with Victor.  Instead, he’s going to tell Victor all about his conversation with Yakov.  Victor will be mightily pissed off with Yakov, and will burn Yakov’s hat.  Yakov will get hypothermia from standing so long at the rink without his hat, and be hospitalised for a week.  Victor will not go visit.

Yuuri will not break up with Victor.  Instead, he’s going to be totally honest about his feelings.  They will have a good honest talk and both feel a lot better. Yuuri will apologise for being a bad boyfriend.  Did I mention all the honesty?  Because there will be much honesty.  So.  Much.  Honesty.

Yuuri will not break up with Victor.  Instead, he’s going to suggest they get a cat together, as a way to show their commitment to one another.  They call the cat Viccachin.  It eats all of Phichit’s hamsters.

Meredith will make contact with Yuuri.  It turns out Meredith is actually Mari in disguise.  She will give him a good telling off for being an escort, but Yuuri can tell her heart’s not in it.  They then have a good catch up over dinner before she flies back home, happy that Yuuri is doing alright for himself.

Yakov will start taking guitar lessons.  This will be a major plot point.  Don’t ask me how.

Yuuri will run away from Detroit and live secretly in Victor’s walk-in closet until all the Eros/Phichit/maybe Meredith stuff blows over.

Celestino will start dating Meredith.  It’s a coincidence- they meet whilst shopping for garden furniture and just get talking.  It’s a match made in heaven.  They run away to get married in Vegas with Yuuri and Phichit as page boys.

Yuuri breaks up with Victor and Victor, broken hearted, will run away and join an ABBA tribute band.  He has a great time, and wonders why he didn’t do this years ago.  Chris books the band for his birthday party, and everyone agrees they really are fantastic.

Yuuri Plisetsky will attempt to grow a beard.  His laughable failure in this endeavour will only make him more bitter.

Yuuri will finish sorting out all of his Eros clothes and take them to the charity shop in a collection of carrier bags he found under the sink.  The elderly volunteer in the charity shop will say ‘sorry, we’re not taking donations at the moment’.  Yuuri, indignant, starts showing the elderly lady the labels.  “Have you SEEN these labels?!  This custom-tailored ladies’ blouse is GUCCI, I TELL YOU”.  The charity shop volunteer lady stands her ground.  It’s true- they’re not taking donations.  Besides, she can smell the sin lingering on those clothes from a mile away.

This time I’m expecting the unexpected.  But @victorsporosya is always full of surprises so she may even have something in store which I did not guess.  Who knows?  We’ll just have to wait and find out!

Another playlist for the Yuri!!! on Ice fanfic, The Boyfriend Experience by cryingoverspilledvodka ( @victorsporosya )

Read this Fic! - http://archiveofourown.org/works/9285461/chapters/21042680 

Spotify Link - https://open.spotify.com/user/an-honest-puck/playlist/5gyZ59WqSQcysi3HZyp2hX 

So… I didn’t intend to do this but I was having coffee today, skimming through a few things on my kindle (did I really need to write this back story?), and I found some ominous words in chapter 12 of The Boyfriend Experience.  Then I looked a bit harder and found some more... and even more…  And I thought I’d put them all together because it all adds up to give me a terrible sense of foreboding:

Two categories- firstly, happiness:

Yuuri was… happy.

Happiness was addictive in a way nothing ever had been before

‘All I know right now, is that you make me happy’

Yuuri laughed, giddy with happiness

Yeah, Yuuri, we get it. You’re happy.  I’m sorry, sweetheart, but that’s surely a disaster waiting to happen.  (I mean, I hope not.  Yuuri’s spent years training himself not to be happy and not to want things like this, and he’s finally, reluctantly, let Victor a little bit past his defences, if it all comes crashing down around his ears that’s going to be terrible)

And then, on the subject of their relationship (if that’s even the right word):

‘If this ends, it’ll be because you want it to’ (Victor)

‘I’m not going to go anywhere’ (Yuuri)

‘But I am not leaving you.  I promise.’ (Yuuri)

Ominous?  I think so…

And finally:

‘Yuuri couldn’t think of a more perfect accident’.  And Woodentrain couldn’t think of a line more indicative that things are going to go horribly wrong some time soon.  (Maybe not, of course, I mean I’m a terrible predictor of things after all).

OK so PEOPLE.  I have found a little bit of Spare Time in my life for the next few weeks.  In my lunch break at work, right in between finishing eating lunch and when the bell goes to say there’s 5 minutes left until afternoon lessons start.  It’s a useless time for getting work done because a) it’s not long enough to settle down and do anything meaningful and b) you need a few minutes to relax at lunch time, right?  So I thought a good (also fun and relaxing) use of this little ten minutes twice a week would be… writing stuff.  Mini things, well mini for me anyway because, you know.  So the idea of the 10 minute meta was born.  

It has its shortcomings… namely that in ten minutes there’s not time to check things or find quotes. It’s not really meta, more just a few random musings (but that doesn’t have the same ring to it).  And anything I write will have to be kept SFW for obvious reasons.  So these are my rules-

10 minutes, no longerNothing NSFWJust a quick proofread before posting, no padding it out or adding things in or generally messing about. Except if I need to add in swear words, I guess.  

Here goes:

The Boyfriend Experience (by Cryingoverspilledvodka)- Yakov in chapter 12

Yakov.  Where did he suddenly appear from?  I mean, I know he was there all along but suddenly, out of the blue, he’s become a massive danger.  You know how chapter 12 ended- Yuuri in a panic, Yakov demanding to talk with him. But think about what a threat Yakov is. He knows EVERYTHING.  He knows Yuuri’s name- both personal and professional. So he knows what he does for a living. He presumably has put 2 and 2 together and worked out how he Yuuri met Viktor (he saw him in Viktor’s hotel room back in Detroit), and where all that money Viktor spent in Detroit went. There’s a distinct possibility he knows about Yuuri’s skating past.  

How far will Yakov go to protect Viktor?  To protect his public image?  Because surely the press would love to know about Viktor’s activities?  And would the ISU have something to say about him bringing the sport into disrepute by hiring an escort during competitions?  Will Yakov ask Yuuri (Tell Yuuri?  Order him?  Blackmail him?)  to stop seeing Viktor?  

In chapter 11 when he’s talking to Yuri and Mila he seems kind of pleased that Viktor was seeing someone, sort of happy for him, so where does that fit in?  I guess he hadn’t worked out the truth then…

I’m trying to convince myself that Yakov is going to buy Yuuri a nice cup of coffee (and maybe a pastry?) and tell him how happy he makes Viktor, and how he wants to be best man at their wedding.  (What do you mean, that’s not going to happen?  Let me have my dreams, OK?).  That’s the only way I can get through the wait until I find out what actually happens.  Although actually I think this may be the only time EVER I have kind of not wanted a fic to update, because I am so worried about what happens next.

(Forgive my childish name calling.  I don’t like these guys right now, OK?)

So, by popular demand of one person, you know who you are I have some thoughts about chapter 13 of The Boyfriend Experience. I’m procrastinating because I’m supposed to be doing the ironing and packing to go away tomorrow but here I am.

Yuri Plisetsky

(Unpopular opinion alert) I don’t like Yuri Plisetsky.  The boy desperately needs some discipline in his life, because he’s a thoroughly unpleasant person.  He’s 15, which is plenty old enough to know better than to be going around calling people names and yelling in their faces and kicking them. I don’t know why the adults around him put up with this, because I tell you, he wouldn’t last long in my classroom behaving like that.  I work with teenagers.  I like them (mostly).  I enjoy their company (mostly).  But Yuri?  I sympathise with his no doubt difficult childhood, but that’s no excuse for being a dick.

Quite apart from his aggressive nature, he has a sense of entitlement which is not pleasant.  In this chapter he hates the fact that Victor has found someone he cares about.  He hates the fact that Victor is putting himself first for a change.  Yuri does care about Victor as a person too, I don’t deny that. He’s definitely worried about what all this means for Victor.  But a lot of the concerns he has about him are nothing to do with Victor and his happiness and wellbeing- they’re about Yuri and what he feels Victor should be doing for him.  How much of Yuri’s motivation about exposing Yuuri is due to his concerns for Victor, and how much is an effort to just get rid of Yuuri so he can have Victor’s time for himself?

Yakov

So Yakov wants Yuuri out of Victor’s life.  And he’s willing to pay him off, threaten or blackmail him in order to do it. Why?  Well, there are a few possibilities.  He thinks Victor will get hurt.  He knows Victor knows what Yuuri does for a living, and he knows that this thing they have started with Victor hiring him.  At the start of their conversation he clearly thinks Yuuri is using Victor for money or as a way to further his own skating ambitions. However by the end he seems to know this isn’t true.  I don’t think he doubts that Yuuri cares about Victor, a lot.  But he still demands that this ‘thing’ ends.  Maybe he just doesn’t see how dating an escort can work out well for Victor.  Maybe he’s bluffing when he says Victor would recover from the scandal it would cause if the world found out (after all, Victor is old for a skater.  If there was a scandal and he was in trouble with the ISU, it might be easier for Victor just to retire quietly).  Or maybe he just wants to spare him that.  

I don’t doubt that Yakov has Victor’s interests at heart.  So why do I say he’s being a huge dickhead about this?  Because Victor is a grown man.  Seriously.  Sometimes it’s easy to forget, but Victor is a proper grown up.  He’s 27.  Just to give an idea of the level of maturity of a typical 27 year old- in Russia, the average age for a man to get married is 27.  The average age of a woman when she has her first child is 25.  It’s fair to assume that Victor has not led a typical life- but he’s at an age where it’s normal for people to be in serious relationships, settling down, marrying and having children.  He’s certainly not a child himself.  So by all means, it’s OK for Yakov to talk to him about this, to explain his worries, to encourage Victor to stop it or slow down.  But it’s not fair for him to take the decision out of Victor’s hands.  

And as for this:  ‘That’s what being a parent is… cruelty to protect your children. Vitya may think he’s alone, but I’m still here’.  I’m perfectly happy for Yakov to see himself as a father to Victor.  And I know parenting means making some difficult decisions.  But Victor is a grown man.  He needs to make his own mistakes, if that’s what he chooses to do.  He’s 27 years old, for goodness’ sake!  Cut those apron strings, Yakov, and let him go.

Victor

I have literally NO IDEA.  Because TBFE keeps surprising me.  Every chapter I think ‘well this is quite sweet actually, things aren’t going horribly wrong, in fact they’re generally sort of improving… so soon things have got to go REALLY BAD’.  And then every chapter it doesn’t happen.  

So, pretty much everything that happens surprises me.  I mean, look at the last chapter.  I did not see any of that coming.  I didn’t see the conversation in the restaurant, or that argument they had in the hotel room (which was super good).  I didn’t see Yuuri confessing his skating past.  I could probably have guessed that they’d end up having sex at some point, but that’s hardly a revelation.  I did not see Yakov appearing to stir things up at the end.  

Talking of Yakov- if I HAD to guess what he’s going to say it would be something along the lines of ‘Stop seeing Victor or I’m going to call your mother and tell her what you’re getting up to’.  But then, like you said, the preview… well.  Maybe Yakov’s going to be all nice and ‘look, I can see you’re nervous but don’t be.  I want what’s best for Victor and he obviously really likes you so let’s talk about what’s going on and see if we can come to an understanding’.

(And maybe in the meantime Meredith Thorton will have been run over by a bus.)

I don’t know any of this either.  It’d better have a happy ending, or I will be gutted.  I mean, I don’t even want them to have to take a break because how would we all live with wondering if things will work out?  But yes, I suppose something’s got to give.  

I could see that if Yuuri ended up going home he could just be a bit lost and not really doing anything much, similar to what happened in the anime.  I don’t know what he would do long-term, but I can see him just moping around for a while, because his family would totally be OK with that.  And although he’s independent and wealthy I don’t particularly see him as needing to live like all that- it’s not like he’s a big fan of his luxuries etc.  He’d probably go home, and tell everyone he just wanted to come home, and sleep in his childhood bedroom and help out with the chores and not behave like someone with millions of dollars sitting in the bank.  And wait for Victor to appear naked in the onsen…

Playlist for “The Boyfriend Experience” by the very lovely and talented cryingoverspilledvodka @victorsporosya 

I love this fic immensely, and since I’m not artistic enough to make fan-art, I made a playlist! Please enjoy!

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/an-honest-puck/playlist/5gyZ59WqSQcysi3HZyp2hX