#taskthree

Clutching the soft bear against her body, Monroe watched her mother’s body fall to the ground, her face turning completely white as she breathed her last breath. Her brown eyes settled on her father, staring up at him as he held the gun in his hand. He pulled the trigger after moments of Alana yelling at him to not corrupt their daughter. Aaron, a man who always gets his way, refused to listen to his wife. He had plans for his daughter, and he was going to follow through with them with or without her approval. Monroe watched as he placed the gun on the table, bending down to ground. He had a cold expression on his face as he watched the woman he “loved” bleed all over their white carpet, nothing but silence filled the air. Monroe was only four, but she knew better than to interrupt her father. She stood behind the threshold of the door, lips sealed. Aaron turned his head to capture the eyes of his daughter, a soft sigh escaping her lips. 

Monroe stepped out into his vision before he knelt in front of her. She continued to hold the stuffed animal against it, having it be the last thing her mother gave her. She felt her father’s hand against her cheek as they simply looked at each other, hardly acknowledging what had just occurred. “I have big plans for you, Roe. Just remember that Daddy knows best, okay?” He spoke softly. Monroe nodded her head at her father before she wrapped her small arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. “There, there, little one. Everything will be alright.” Her father spoke as he hugged her back, but she was too fixated on her mother’s body to pay attention to his words. 

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Laying with her daughter in her arms, Monroe smiled softly as her fingers brushed through her daughter’s blonde hair. Madelyn laid tiredly against her, her eyes struggling to stay open. Being a mother was never the plan, but the moment she became pregnant, she didn’t question what to do. Monroe swore that she was going to love this child more than life itself, and she lived every day with that mentality. Madelyn was her world, and the last thing she wanted her daughter to experience was the life that Monroe was given. Being a mafia member was forced onto her the very second that her mother died. Her father always got his way, even if it meant killing those closest to him to get it. He was ruthless and selfish, nothing could stand in the way of what he wanted. It was one of the main reasons as to why she allowed him to control her as much as he has. 

“She’s gone.”

The words kept repeating over and over in her head. It was like time stood still. Everything felt as if it were frozen. She feels pain…a pain that she never thought she’d feel. Her head is pounding and she feels nauseated. There is this never ending ache inside of her that wants out. Tomorrow it could be outside of her body but her chest feels the weight. There’s nothing left to feel when she’s feeling everything. She feels empty. Her hair probably looks like it needs to be washed and she has it pulled into this sloppy loose mess. She’s wearing ripped jeans and an old band T-shirt that she’s stolen from him. She refuses to give it back just like the hoodie that’s way too big on her frame. She took it when he left on a job that he couldn’t tell her about.

She doesn’t feel like herself. She feels unsteady if that’s even the right word for it. It’s almost as if there’s this strange electrical humming throughout her skin, like an unspoken warning of things to come. Everything feels like it’s sideways or inside out or upside down all of a sudden. “No.” She whispers. All around her are memories of a life that had been thr center of world. Her life had purpose and now she was gone. Her sweet innocent little angel who lit up the room with her smile and her laugh. She would give anything to hear her voice, to feel her arms wrapped around her, to chase her around the room.

“No.”

Her voice gets louder.

She feels like she can’t breathe, like every single ounce of air has been sucked out of the room. She doesn’t think as she begins to throw things around the room. She decorated it, picked out every single thing that was on the walls and the bookshelves. What was once a happy place was now filled with silence. She sees the stuffed bunny with long ears. She can’t bare to look at it.

“NO!”

She screams as she knocks over books and picture frames. Anything in her path. She can’t hold herself upright anymore. The glass and porcelain figurines shatter. Her already unsteady legs so weak beneath her and she collapses, sinking to her knees as she tries to breathe. It feels like there’s something in her throat. Something is crawling and clawing it’s way up.

“Why? Why did they have to take you?”

She grabs a small blanket from the bed and pulls it to her chest. The tears don’t come slow. There is nothing gradual about this breakdown. She breaks down completely. Tears stream down her face. She doesn’t even know anyone else is there until she feels arms around her.