Adam nods his approval, moving to slowly climb off. Ronan watches until he’s about halfway there, standing to peer down at him. “Hey,” he says, smirking when Adam looks up with a confused pinch of his brows. “You think I could stick the landing?”
“Stick the…are you thinking about jumping off?” Adam has stopped his descent to stare at Ronan with a growing frown.
“Yep.”
“You shouldn’t do that.”
“And why not?”
Rather than answer, Adam fixes Ronan with a stern look. It’s one he knows well, although not from present company, activating the part of Ronan that not only doesn’t appreciate being told what to do, but also loves doing stupid, dumb shit just because he can.
Ronan steadies himself on the thin, metal bars, which is a feat in and of itself with his clunky combat boots. Adam glares up at him, the humorless expression isn’t meant to be a dare, but it feels like one nevertheless, and Ronan won’t back down now that he’s said what he is going to do out loud. “You watching?”
“Watching you break your ass and embarrass yourself?”
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um i have a confession. i’m 19 and your music festival fic and the austronaunt in the ocean audio on tiktok just made me realize was “rolling” means. and i had to urban dictionary it to confirm my suspicions. like i heard that ”what u know abt rolling down in the deep” audio and didnt think anything of it or process the lyrics or understand what it meant. and then i read ur fic where the term “rolling” kept popping up and i was like “what is this lingo i’ve never encountered???” and i thought it was hilarious and even cringe the way ronan was talking abt drugs but nope. i’m the cringe 😔
!!!DRUG TALK AHEAD!!!
Hey anon! First off, thank you for this ask, it really made me smile.
Anyway, it does sort of seem like a silly way to phrase it, doesn't it? Totally understandable to not get it without any real context or prior knowledge of the drug itself.
I was looking at the urban dictionary definitions because I was curious. Some of them mention the "roll", describing the natural ebb and flow of the experience. Interestingly enough, though, I did not see any mention of how it can also refer to one of the side effects (usually if the person takes more than they should have), which is the inability to control eye movements. This can often lead to an eye rolling effect, and is another reason why the high on MDMA is referred to as "rolling" instead of something else.
That being said, the most common turn of phrase people use is "rolling face" (this also refers to the eye movements) and not "rolling dick", like Ronan tends to use in the fic.
Well, maybe not exactly what you were looking for! Either way, I'm glad you sent me this! Hope you're having a lovely morning/afternoon/night!
Adam stares over at Ronan, his lips pursed in thought. He’s been on Ronan’s left side this whole time, same as when they’d originally made their way to camp, a peculiar idiosyncrasy that has not gone totally unnoticed. “What’s the court?”
“A small campground not far from here. Shouldn’t take long to get there,” Ronan offers, his gaze finding its way over to Adam. “If you wanted to go, I’d get it. You’re probably fucking exhausted.”
His eyes narrow, fingers gripping his arms. Adam shakes his head. “No, I said I’d help, so that’s what I’m gonna do. Besides, I…”
He trails off and Ronan frowns, looking away. He considers prying, but his powder courage is gone, and the man next to him is a separate creature from the one he just spent a night with. Adam seems way more easily frightened, as if one wrong move could scare him off, and it’s like a wall has been erected between them that wasn’t there before. Maybe Ronan put it there, maybe Adam did, maybe it’s both their faults or, maybe, it’s just because they don’t have a rush of neurotransmitters forcing a connection that wasn’t really there in the first place.
Whatever. He doesn’t want to think about it, doesn’t have it in him to mope when he has a missing friend to find.
Ronan breathes out a few swear words then says, “Because I’ve never dated? Don’t see the fucking point, it’s...” he huffs, pulling away from his bracelet to wave his hand and goes back to it after, “Bullshit, right? All these arbitrary rules, trying to get to know someone only to find out they’re a weirdo, or boring or, god forbid, they drive a fucking Volvo?”
“That’s…” Adam laughs, fist pressed to his mouth. “highly specific? Bad experience?”
“Not really, just, have you ever met someone with a Volvo? Fucking tragic.”
This earns another chuckle from Adam, “I think do not date someone who drives a Volvo is pretty solid relationship advice. You might know more than you think.”
Taking the capsule was supposed to make Adam feel good, help him unwind like a typical twenty-two-year-old might, and prove to his friends how normal he can be.
Here is Adam Parrish, totally average Harvard senior, stuck in a crowd of people wondering if he’s the only one not having any fun, if he’s incapable of it, if there is some part of him that really is irreparably broken.
He has to leave. Anything is better than here, trapped at a shitty show, with shitty music blasting in his good ear.
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For the directors cut please give us some comments on the first time Adam and Ronan spent together at Ronan's camp in tapoma 💜 (I love that whole scene, btw)
Oh man the camp + tent scene in tapoma 🙈I have a lot to say about this, so bear with me?
1. Knowing it was coming from the beginning, it was actually very hard for me to write at the time. Not for any reason, other than I kept getting stuck in the build up, and for some reason couldn't get what I wanted to happen as quickly as I wanted it to.
2. Adam Parrish being a sneaky little shit, trying to sound like he's asking Ronan to strip for anything other than his own benefit will never not be funny to me. But, like, Ronan is known to be fairly shameless in that regard in canon, so it's not as if he had to try very hard.
3. Consent is important, even (or especially?) when you're on drugs. I kind of wondered how much it would matter for Adam to be absolutely certain Ronan would be cool with getting touched, and then I realized it would actually be super important to him. So.
4. At this point in the night, it's quite late, and they're 100% on the come down. This means pretty much all of the extra energy they had is gone, while all the sensory sensitivity is still there. This is the perfect time for cuddling underneath a blanket or, *cough*, other...things. Which I will get into under a cut in a moment.
5. This is the song I imagine playing during this scene, if anyone wants to reread and listen.
6. Adam Parrish needs to learn that it's okay for falling in love to be scary, while being in love is comforting. That's why they have the talk about it.
7. The Cattulus quote said is very much intentional, and roughly translates to: I hate and I love. Why I do this, perhaps you ask? I know not, but I feel it happening and I am tortured.
Now, nsfw talk under the cut...
8. Yeah, Ronan got off from a combination of Adam touching his back feeling extremely good from the stimulant still in his system. But, also, Adam was pressing his dick pretty hard against Ronan's ass and pushing him into the air mattress so that + the way Adam was talking? Sent Ronan over the edge. Also, he's still a virgin in this, so.
There are conflicting thoughts on whether it is easy or hard to get off on mdma, and some people with dicks say it's hard to even get it up. Other people don't have that problem at all. Obviously Ronan is the latter, so he ended up coming without meaning too and found it very embarrassing. (But hey it was fun for Adam, and me, and the readers)
Sorry this is so long? dkflsdfs thank you for asking, though!!!
What's been your favorite part of kiss me at midnight to write so far? Or of Take a piece of me away? Or both?!
Aw, yeah, let's see!
So, with kmam, my favorite thing hasn't been written yet...okay, I kid, I kid! I know this says so far! 😇 I think it's the way the first two chapters parallel each other, in a way? The first one ends off with Ronan feeling like he did something wrong, while the second one ends with Adam feeling the same.
More specifically, though, I loved writing the tarot scene in the second chapter. Ronan got (rightfully?) angry, and it was fun making him say some of the meaner stuff. Honestly the whole thing has been fun, albeit a little challenging (especially this upcoming chapter, oh my god...)
With tapoma, that's such an easy answer lmao 😂 the tent scene at the end of chapter three...I'd had that planned early on (actually, I have most of that fic planned out!), and was very much looking forward to getting there! And it was so fun to finally write it out! I'm excited to get back into it once I've gotten some stuff in my head figured out with it.
Momentarily entranced by the visually and melodiously impressive display, Ronan isn’t prepared for someone bumping into him. It isn’t the light knock of a passerby, but a full-on slam to his side. Normally, this would piss him off, make him react accordingly, ending with him telling the offender to piss off or shoving back. All it does now is surprise Ronan, the resentment he carries in his day-to-day life eaten up by his roll.
Ronan catches a quick peek of the man, seeing dust-colored hair and a hunched posture, before he stumbles off. No apology offered, not even a mumbled, my bad, man.
Whatever. No big deal, happens all the fucking time.
