#tankthecorso

“It’s a dog’s life” is a cliché, really. Defined as ‘something that you say which means that life is hard and unpleasant’ but there’s nothing hard and unpleasant about our sweet little doggies’ lives, is there?

Humans work hard, sleep less, eat crap and are running the corporate rat race to achieve their goals and ambitions. Is it the quintessential ‘dog’s life’? Definitely not.

Your darling pooch lives a much happier and healthier life today than in those times when dog’s were not cosseted as pets, but were kept as watchdogs, hunting animals. Dog’s today are stress-busters for us humans. We come home after a hard day of work only to the one person (the humanized dog) who is most happy to see us.

For a working couple, the first dog is like the first baby. The mind-boggling research and endless debates on which breed to get, the introduction to breeds you never knew existed. The most interesting and lovable are the fights on what to name the new baby! In our case “Razoul Vs. Tank” became a match fit for the Colosseum. My stupid husband still calls him Razoul when I am not looking.

The preparation and anxiety the night before he/she arrives is more exciting than getting an appraisal. Some toys, a new bed, a collar, a leash, a baby comb to brush his coat, sourcing a good vet and the endless drama surrounding each and every one of these elements.

Now that’s a dog’s life today!

The day he arrives, friends and family pour in to visit him, endless phone calls and Facebook messages congratulating on the new baby. The best part is being termed as ‘The New Parents’. The new baby is showered with attention, toys, treats and yummy top-of-the-available-line dog food. His daily activity schedule is fixed and maintained with utmost sincerity. He is groomed and cleaned twice a day. He gets to chew on and destroy all kinds of toys and gets a new one every month.

Like I said, I want a dog’s life!

He is allowed to roam the house, sleep wherever he wants, pull things off the dining table, go snooping around every cupboard, chew on every shoe, jump up on every piece of furniture at his whims and fancies. TANK, at 4 months, is 20 kilos and stands at 21 inches at his shoulders. He will be a giant dog one day, which makes him a giant puppy now. Last night he almost pushed my husband off the bed. This happened after he got on to the bed, snuck in between us and then started making his own space. 20 minutes later my husband woke me up like the roof was on fire.

The ‘Double’ in ‘Double Dates’ are now people and their dogs and every night is planned around them. The maids are given instructions (which they do not follow) to not disturb the baby if he’s sleeping and is asked to clean around him. And if you hear your maid shrieking “Bhabhijiiiiii!” with the excitement level of a sugar-laden 3-yr old, you know that she just witnessed the miracle that is your puppy doing his business in the other room. The couple’s family pitches in to baby sit him when the couple has an unavoidable night out (unavoidable is the keyword, since every avoidable night out has been avoided). Unwanted and cant-say-no office outings are no longer a concern. I just drop “Oh I’m sorry, I’ve gotta feed my Tankie.” There suddenly are multiple friends willing to come over, when you aren’t around to house-sit and watch your pooch or pooch-sit and watch your house depending on their priorities.

How many people have you spoken to while waiting for your turn at your dentist? My count is zero. People are generally preoccupied with what the dentist will find wedged between their teeth. However, a customary trip with your dog to his Vet’s clinic is quite the opposite. I almost advised the doctor to sell beers and make some money on the side or at least store a few beers in his cold storage for my next trip. An hour’s wait feels like 15 mins, given the endless chatter around the Vet’s waiting room. Which brings me to an off-topic topic, too many people, and then some more, own cats in Mumbai. When the @#$% did this happen? But I’ll collate my thoughts on the Feline species at a later date and save some dope for another post.