#tangledupblue

He had woken up late that morning. The consistent buzzing of his phone had become too much to ignore, but he felt no urgency. January had arrived only days ago, but Yamato hadn’t grown used to the cold. 

‘It’s time,’ a text read. A string of missed calls followed close behind. Yamato made no effort to respond, throwing his covers aside haphazardly as panic gripped his heart. 

The hustle and bustle of Tokyo swept Yamato up. His body moved on autopilot as he wiped the sleep from his eyes. Like the other passerby, Yamato kept his gaze downward, sparing only a glance or two at the bag clutched desperately in his hand.

Yamato looked up only to verify that he was headed in the right direction before he focused once more on his shoes.

His two different shoes. Yamato sighed.

Odaiba’s population was miniscule compared to the capital of Japan. Strangers’ shoulders brushed against his, the crowd’s warmth his only consultation. As he struggled to make his way down the street, Yamato cursed under his breath. A brisk winter breeze seeped through his leather coat, his arms covered in gooseflesh. 

Despite the train’s timely arrival, Yamato’s watch informed him that he would be late. He could feel the wind ruffle his carefully-styled hair and groaned. This wasn’t the impression that he hoped for, but it would have to do. 

The streets continued to twist and turn until a large building came into view. A constant flow of bodies spilled in and out of the doors. Yamato’s fingers grew numb with anxiety; his breath quickened.

Yamato glanced down at his watch for the date: January 12th. It was strange to him how a day that previously felt like any other could suddenly hold so much importance. 

Large, beige walls stretched above him, dense clouds reflected in the countless windows. Yamato searched the windows for a clue, for a sign from the universe that would settle the jittery feeling in his heart. 

The windows stared back blankly, the walls too formidable to let even a whisper of hope through. At the top, ‘Aiiku Hospital’ was proudly displayed. For some, these rooms would be the start of a new life, or a chance at a second one.

Yamato wondered idly which fate awaited him.

Without a doubt, he knew that once he stepped through the threshold, Yamato’s life would be irrevocably changed. His pulse quickened, the bag rustling futility in his grasp.

Winter’s wind urged him forward, towards the throngs of people headed inside. Residual holiday decoration hung from high banisters and the edges of desks.  People talked in hushed voices as they sat in various chairs. Though their masks hid their mouth, the edges of their eyes would crinkle with every smile. Despite Yamato’s nerves that were tied in a bundle, the atmosphere was almost merry. 

He side-stepped out of the way, and tucked himself into a corner to gain his bearings. In his pocket, his phone buzzed once more, but Yamato ignored it. Carefully, he opened up his bag. The outside was wrinkled and weary from the travel, but inside, everything was as it should be.

Yamato released a shaky breath as he rubbed his sweaty palms against his worn jeans. He worked his fingers through his messy hair, straightening the hem of his shirt. 

Late or not,  he was going to make the best impression that he could.

The lady at the desk pointed him up the stairs, and offered him a smile as she patiently repeated the directions. 

His legs felt numb as he made his way upwards. The windows that lined the walls illuminated briefly with a weak ray of sunshine before the clouds swallowed it whole. Yamato wished for the clouds to swallow him up and spit him out somewhere far, far away.

Underneath his anxiety, there was a strange sort of anticipation. With every step, he grew closer and closer to an uncertain future. What would this mean for him? What would this mean for his brother?

At the thought of Takeru, Yamato’s pace quickened. He would have taken the stairs two at a time had it been socially acceptable, but he held back. 

Somewhere, at the other end of a long, superfluous staircase, his little brother was embarking on an adventure Yamato had no place in. 

It was terrifying and gratifying to watch a brother grow up, Yamato mused. One moment, Takeru had painstakingly arranged his letter blocks to form nonsense words, and in the next, he had become a father. 

The unrelenting buzzing in Yamato’s pocket acted as his silent cheerleader, reassuring him that even now, as they grew up and grew apart, that he would always have a place in his brother’s life.

The stairs ended at the mouth of an endless hallway adorned with storks and brightly colored women. Each nurse seemed to smile as they darted between rooms, the sound of a baby’s cry more of an accomplishment than a burden. 

“308, 308, 308,” Yamato muttered to himself. Numbers passed by in a blur until his eyes zeroed in on the room that held the source of his anxieties. 

‘Takaishi’ had been written on the place card beside the room number in an elegant script. 

Yamato’s legs seemed to be rooted in place, his ears straining for any sound beyond the solid wood door.

Other than a few hushed whispers, Yamato was unable to discern anything. One last look into his bag settled his stomach. It was time to stop running.

He took a deep breath, steeling himself for whatever was to come. Softly, he knocked on the door, the hushed whispers fading out immediately. 

The door creaked open on its hinges, a head of unruly blond hair poking out.

“Yamato?” he whispered. Dumbly, the older boy stood there, his throat dry and heart pounding. Takeru pretended not to notice his apprehension and took a step forward. 

Yamato studied the dark circles underneath Takeru’s eyes and the happy glow that settled in his smile. He had to crane his neck up to get a good glimpse at his little brother, but could no longer find it within himself to resent the height difference.

“It’s been a while,” Yamato finally said, clearing his throat. “Is…Did everything…How is she?”

“Labor was a bitch, she said, but worth it. I was worried for a minute - her face was so pale and her heart was beating so fast. The doctors say that everything is fine, thought, so I guess I have to trust their judgment.” Takeru shrugged.

After a moment of silence, he continued. “Thank you for coming, by the way. It means more to me than you’ll ever know.”

At that, Yamato smiled, thrusting the crumpled bag in his direction. “So do I get to meet the kid or not?”

“Your nephew, you mean?”

Nephew. 

Takeru’s eyes grew wide. ‘No.’ He turned to look at the women’s side and tried to find his best friend. He dreaded the moment she would step out of the crowd and walk forwards to the stage. ‘No. No. No.’

When she was finally visible to everyone, he felt his heart beat faster then he ever thought was possible. She began to walk slowly to the front as the lady who called her name coaxed her to come closer.

Takeru’s fist clenched. He was just about to raise his voice when someone beat him to it.

“I volunteer as Tribute!”

Like everyone, Takeru gasped and whipped his head back to where the voice came from. He should not have been surprised though, because it was Taichi, Hikari’s older brother, who had shouted.

“I volunteer as Tribute,” he repeated, this time calmly. “I volunteer as Tribute.”

Takeru was not happy. First, Hikari was called. Second, Taichi volunteered despite this being his last year. And third, he could not do anything about both.

He turned to look at Hikari and his heart ached for her. She was obviously heartbroken. He knew she was confused, but he also knew that she would not allow her big brother to end up in the arena.

Taichi walked to the front of the stage, passing by his sister but not daring to look at her. Hikari twisted as she watched him go up the stairs. The guards then arrived to take her away and back to her place.

The lady on the stage giggled. “Well, this certainly is a first here. And what is your name, dear?”

“Yagami Taichi. I’m her older brother,” he said, not bothering to wait for the question.

“Such a brave boy,” the lady said, nodding. Then she turned back to the mic and spoke.

Takeru did not hear anything else anymore. He could not wait to get out. He had to go to Hikari. He had to.

And when the crowd finally dispersed, Takeru ran to his best friend and held her close. Hikari cried as soon as he put his arms around her.

“It’s n-not f-f-f-fair,” she sobbed. He saw her parents walking towards them, their eyes glistening from the tears. “Why’d he-he have t-to d-do that.”

Takeru did not know what to say so he stayed quiet. When the Yagamis were in front of them, Hikari let go of him and buried her face on her mother’s shoulder.

Takeru felt his throat burn and his eyes watering. ‘What about Onii-chan,’ he thought. Even though his brother, Yamato, and Taichi never said it out loud, they were best friends and had a very good relationship.

“I’m going to find Onii-chan,” he said to the Yagami family. “I’m really sorry about Taichi,” he added, bowing his head.

Just as he was about to leave, he felt Hikari tug on his shirt. “Don’t go.”

Takeru sighed.

“I don’t want you to leave me,” she continued.

“Okay.”

Even with everything going on, Takeru always found time for Hikari. She was depressed, who would not be when someone you loved volunteered to enter a bloodthirsty game.

“Hikari,” he started when he sat down beside her. The game was about to begin and he and Yamato decided to stay with the Yagamis to watch.

She looked at him and cocked her head.

“He’s going to win.”

That made her lips quiver. “I know.”

He gave her a small, reassuring smile. Hikari leaned against him. “He’s going to win.”

The countdown began and before they knew it, Taichi was zooming from the stand and into the field.

The Huger Games had officially begun.