#talbott hphm

Sometimes, Talbott Winger tried to convince himself that dating you was not an entirely thoughtless, reckless, rash and overly terrible idea.

Most of the time, he knew you were the face of the word “danger” and he didn’t even try to fight it, but he found himself thinking rather often that he was completely out of his mind for even taking that decision.

With everything he had been through, he really thought that getting out of Hogwarts unharmed while having had a nice and quiet scolarity was one of his primary goal. But then you collided violently with his life, and he didn’t really know why he let you smash that perfectly attainable and reasonable goal when you said you wanted to be friends… but he did.

He did, while knowing perfectly you were dangerous. At first, it was easy to be merely corridor friends, saying hello while you passed each other or eating together sometimes, but occurrences when he found himself with you happened to increase significantly with time. And then you were studying together, having butterbeers in your free time, hiding from the world in the owlery, taking a night stroll in your animagus form on Hogwarts grounds past curfew… Every time it happened, he seemed to be willing to stretch the time longer. So much he stood there a few more seconds with you, then minutes, and then it turned into hours. Now he couldn’t even seem to get enough of you if he didn’t catch your sight everyday.

And while that was messing with his head, it was only a little part of what made you so dangerous. You were sometimes brash, reckless, pushy to the point you knew things no wizard nor witch should know at your age. While you were prefect, you certainly had some problems with rules. And on another scale of danger, you threw yourself into Quidditch without even caring if you lost a limb or not. Every fiber of your being screamed “danger”.

But if was so easy to forget when you screamed his name.

And there were moments Talbott didn’t want to think you were that dangerous. You were so good to him. Thinking back on it, it had been years you were friend, months since you started dating and you made everything in that quiet scolarity he had wanted look dull. Now it was colourful.

The colour of your hair, of your eyes. The colour of your tie, of your House. The colour of your lips.

He always had a calm personality. He sometimes seemed smug and aloof. He didn’t let feelings cloud his judgement, and he found that having no feelings at all might become a good solution. But now, he was drunk on feelings.

Feeling of fear. Feeling of desire. Feeling of affection. Feeling of love.

You were good. You were just awesome. And it was the reason why Talbott sometimes wanted to convince himself you were not dangerous. It happened in the most weird situations, when you were both studying and you bit your lower lip trying to understand that bit in History of Magic that was unclear to you. It happened when you stuffed your face on french fries and you just looked like a giddy child on Christmas day. It happened on Christmas day, when you gave him a gift and you waited on one leg, then the other to see his reaction. It happened when you both agreed you should start dating.

And it was happening now, as he couldn’t seem to stop kissing you against the wall and you had started playing with the hairs on the nape of his neck, heart beating so fast it almost seemed it would explode.

It happened when you were just so openly human no one would ever guess you ate curses for breakfast.

But at the same time, he had learned to love the danger.

A little breath escaped you as you stopped the kiss. It seemed to Talbott as though adrenaline was coursing through his veins. You were danger.

It lied in your swollen lips and the smirk you hid behind them. It lied in your expanded pupils and the wink you acted sometimes. It lied in your playful hand and the wand that sometimes was in it.

-Talbott…

It lied in the way you exhaled his name and the spells you cried out. It lied in your tears and all the emotions you bared all the time. It lied in the laugh that escaped your throat and the screams you couldn’t stop from it.

And while he just had tried to convince himself you weren’t dangerous, he loved to see just how much that danger was his to see and his alone.

-Why are you smiling all of a sudden, huh? You asked, but you smiled just like him.

-I don’t know.

-Oh, so that’s why you pushed me into a corner to kiss me senseless in the middle of the day, you said while playing with his hair. Must have been hard for you to admit you don’t know somethi…

He interrupted you with a peck on your lips.

-Stop teasing me.

-You’re the tease, Winger, not me.

-Am not!

-You are! You just kissed me again to stop me from talking, you are the worst tease I’ve ever known!

-I love you.

You inhaled deeply, as you did each time he told you he loved you. As if you wanted to breathe in his words.

Sometimes you answered, sometimes you did not. This time, you didn’t. The laugh had completely left you face, but while you lost your smile, your hands pulled him closer still when he didn’t even think it was possible.  And then you kissed him, softly at first, merely pressing your lips on his, but you couldn’t quite restrain yourself and as usual, it became more urgent.

Kissing you didn’t make him physically weak like it did at first, but you sure knew how to make him feel dizzy.

-You’re danger, you know that?

He said that with a laugh, still a bit short on breath.

-You just said you loved it, didn’t you?

There was a reason Talbott Winger had stopped trying to tell himself you were not dangerous.

-Ha!

You almost jumped at hearing the rich and deep voice. When you turned around to meet the amused glare of Talbott Winger, you furrowed your brows. He even had the nerve to make fun of you.

-Talbott, you git!  You almost scared me to death, you protested.

-Yes, I am sure I’m way scarier than a Cursed Vault. Terrifying, even. You’re shivering at nights thinking of me.

-If you think I’m even fearing a Vault you’re severely mistaken. Now, I suppose our resident bird boy didn’t make me jump out of my robes for nothing.

-You’re the only person I wouldn’t mind eating with today. That is, if you’re still eating.

You looked at your plate, that looked more like an uneatable mess of stuff you wouldn’t feed a dog. Talbott was watching you silently, his gaze trained on you with a dubious look, and suddenly you felt like eating what you were playing with earlier was not such a bad idea.

-Sure. I was bored eating on my own anyway.

The ghost of a smile graced Talbott’s face and he sat beside you. Silence fell between the two of you while you managed to eat your mess of a lunch. 

Your plate was soon empty though, and you were left staring at the wall, trying not to put too much attention on Talbott eating. You didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

-You’re not eating any pudding?

-Never been one for to much sweets… you whispered.

Oh bloody hell, this was awkward. You weren’t really nervous with Talbott around. He made you relaxed somehow. What was awkward was how every single time you were within a meter of his presence, you started to think a bit too much. Like, how intense his gaze was, how his jawline was manly even though he was barely sixteen, how tall he was, how big but slim his hands were… And his voice. His voice, that noise so rich, so deep that sounded like melted chocolate, and it somehow came from his throat even when he tried to groan.

Boy, were you into deep.

But it was much better to think about how hot you found Talbott than this dreadful feeling following you today.

-You’re awfully quiet, you know, he ended up saying. It shows that you’re usually the one maintaining conversation, we’re being awfully silent today.

Bugger, now he had noticed you were day dreaming.

-Sorry, I suppose the ambiance is getting to me. With Quidditch, the Cursed Vaults, my brother and… the many other things I do in a year, I never really stop to... think.

-I never noticed. So Hogwarts Curse Breaker, prefect, and top-notch student doesn’t stop to think.

-You really like to make fun of me, don’t you?

-I love the way you react when I do.

-You’re such a tease, Winger.

He smiled at you and you felt you were done for. That smug awful little smile. You hated it. It looked way too endearing for your own good, so you turned your head and pretended to focus on your plate.

-What classes do you have this afternoon? Talbott ended up asking.

-I’m free since I passed last flying exam.

-Good. I’m free too.

-Why do I have the feeling you’re about to drag me somewhere in the woods to talk to me about ornithology in what seems like a three-hour class?

-Who do you think I am, you? I was just thinking we could go to the Owlery together. You look like you need to get away from all… this.

He gestured at the Great Hall and at what now looked like a huge sea of people. He knew you way too much compared to some of your other friends. You didn’t even hint to the fact you weren’t feeling well at all, yet he knew you didn’t.

-You’re way too good at knowing what I’m thinking of. It’s depressing.

-Not really. I just figured even you needed an escape sometimes. It’s not like you to be so distracted. And let’s be honest, I like it better when you’re cheery.

He was right, again. It was not like you. But now, Hogwarts seemed so liveless, so useless to you. You did not want to do anything or see anyone. It felt… empty. So you had to fill up your mind, and it turned out it only filled with thoughts of him when he was around. And there was no way you would tell him that.

-It’s even worse than I thought, said Talbott after a moment. You worry me right now.

-Wouldn’t have taken you for the type to be worried about me. It’s cute.

-Don’t pretend you’re okay by joking. Besides, how do you even expect me not to worry about you? We tell you “Don’t go there, don’t do it, it’s dangerous”, and then you’ll get all smiley and stubborn and say “Sweet, danger! Let’s go there, what a ride!”

-Oh, shut it.

Okay, Talbott could be quite vexing sometimes. Your mouth started to form a pout and you stayed silent while he ate. You could feel he sent some looks your way, but you were too busy pretending he didn't exist to care. 

Five minutes into it, you couldn’t stand it anymore. You were still upset, but as you could only think of him right now, either you were going to hit him, or hug him. And somehow, you felt he wouldn’t be pleased by either options. 

-I need to go.

You got up and finally looked at his bewildered face.

-I thought you didn't have any classes? he asked.

-Huh… yeah. But I… have something to tell Bill. And Charlie. A… Prefect thing.

-Oh. I.. see?

Talbott always seemed tense whenever one of the Weasley boys were involved. You supposed they made him feel insecure with how passionate and driven they could be. Anyway, you could see him tense the moment you mentioned Bill, but per usual he didn't say a word of what was going on in that pretty head of his.

-... Join me in the Owlery after you're done?

You raised an eyebrow at Talbott's question, but decided to not think about it to much. This certainly was bad for your brain.

-Sure. Look forward to it. 

You ended up smiling at him without forcing it despite how nauseous you felt. That felt like a win. You rushed to the corridors and ran straight into the Weasley boys, Percy included. 

-I'm sorry Percy, but I need to grab those two, prefect thing. You muttered without leaving room to protestation.

Bill seemed a bit startled when you grabbed his arm and dragged him through the corridor, but didn't say anything, and per usual, Charlie didn't find useful to ask you any question.

You supposed they knew better.

When the three of you reached the prefect bathroom, Bill finally spoke.

-You need a massive Weasley hug, right ?

And then the dam broke.

-It feels too much like home here. It’s so empty and lifeless, and I can’t feel anything but dread if that makes sense, and then Talbott comes in and has the nerve to speak, and then I was thinking “either I hug him or hit him” but honestly, if I stayed inside this hall I would probably have puked on him.

You took a breath, then looked at the Weasley brothers.

-I need a ton of Weasley hugs, if I’m still entitled to them.

-Oh, come on. You’re an honorary Weasley. You’re getting a hug.

Charlie reacted faster than his brother, wrapping his arms around your shuddering form. Bill followed suit, engulfing both of you with a smothering hug that was definitely all you needed right now.

-Hey, do you know there’s a species of small plush-like dragons in North-America that are reported to comfort children by eating their bad dreams?

You laughed. Of course he would speak about dragons. Charlie always spoke about dragons.

-Of course I don't, Charlie. Only you would know that.

-Brother, less talking. More hugging, ordered Bill.

Lost in this mass of ginger hair, you felt a little more at ease. When they let you go, you giggled.

-Oh boy, I don’t know what I’d do without the both of you… I don’t really know what happened to me. It felt like I was overwhelmed with… nothingness, if that makes sense?

-... You said it felt like home to you. And if I’m by any means right, home really doesn’t feel good.

-Home feels… More and more empty, is all. I don’t really want to talk about it. I just… I really needed emotional support, I’m sorry I grabbed you both like that.

-Hey, listen. Anytime you need, we’re there. You’re our new sibling, that’s how it is now, said Bill. 

-Wholeheartedly agrees with that brother of mine. 

-Now, have we cheered you up enough so we both can go and eat? Not that I don’t like hugs, but they don’t fill up a man’s stomach.

-Yes, yes you did. Thanks a lot.

-Anytime.

They moved to get out of the prefect bathroom and made their way to the Great Hall.

-So, what exactly are you going to do this afternoon? I have to pass the flying exam, but you did so last week, Charlie asked.

-No real plans whatsoever. Talbott said something to me about going to the Owlery, but I don’t really know if I’m up to it. 

-That boy is smitten with you if I’ve ever seen it, pointed Bill. He’d never ask anyone else to go to the Owlery with him.

-Merlin’s beard, no. He’s just more sensitive than you think.

-Cut the crap, I know you like him too.

Busted. You bit your lip, but your cheeks flushed red nonetheless. If anyone saw you right now, they might think someone transfigured you as a strawberry and failed miserably to turn you back to a human being.

-I think you should go there. You shouldn’t spend today alone, and it’s unlikely Talbott would force you to talk if you don’t want to.

-Sure…

You stopped walking in the middle of the corridor.

-I’ll be going there, then. Thanks again for… everything. 

Bill winked at you and you watched as the Weasley brothers disappeared when they turned. The uneasy feeling began to spread again in your chest and you did your best to suppress it.

-Come on… You muttered between your teeth.

You faced worse things than that, you should be able to get on with your day.

The thought of Talbott, waiting for you at the Owlery and being disappointed that you didn’t join him became more and more dreadful in your mind. And while, somehow, you felt awkward going there, you thought it was even worse to be a bad friend to him. 

Bill’s words echoed in your mind. You didn’t find it really… logical. Talbott liking you, really? He liked quiet, calm, composed people. Or you thought he did. And while you could be all that, you were pretty much the dangerous type. He couldn’t possibly like that.

And yet, you liked the idea, but you pushed it in the back of your mind. You had to focus on being a good friend. He deserved to have a good friend, not a friend that was gushing over him like a first year marveling at his transfiguration’s skills.

Though, when you noticed him in the Owlery, you found it overly difficult. You had become friends something around two years ago, and boy had he changed. His face that perpetually seemed frozen in a frown surely smiled more now, but that was not the only thing. He had a lot of growth spurts, and he was tall, and lean. While you had been around the same height before and you were taller than most of the students in your year, Talbott towered above all of you. As if he even needed you to find him more handsome now, it kinda looked like he was constantly telling you “watch me, i’m getting better every day!”. And if he knew what you were thinking about, he would probably tease you about it.

-A little birdie told me that infamous animagus Talbott Winger was around here. I wonder who that is?

Talbott turned and smiled at you. There was an owl he seemed to care for in his hand, and it spreaded its wings a bit more at your sight too. 

The two of you had become a known pair with the birds here, and some of them seemed to recognize you. This one looked pleased to see you, and you walked over to Talbott to greet the bird.

-Ain’t that…  Ain’t that Merula’s owl? you said. What happened to her?

-I don’t really know. But she seemed a bit stunned when she flew back here, I figured she needed a bit of attention.

The owl made a little chirping sound at your hand on her head, and you smiled. Birds were awesome. 

-Are you okay ? With… that “prefect thing” with Bill and Charlie?

-Yeah, sure. I mean… Why wouldn’t I be okay?

A nervous laugh escaped your throat.

-You look like you need a bit of attention.

-Oh boy…

-Listen, I’m not one to force you to anything, but you were there for me when I was feeling down. You even forced me to be your friend. Let me feel I didn’t let you in for nothing.

-You didn’t, I swear… But I can’t very well explain it. And it’s not against you that I can’t seem to think properly about that when you’re around. I just get… Overwhelmed.

Silence followed suit. Talbott seemed to study you, and his glare was almost unbearable to you. Whether it was because you were scared or because you wanted to get lost in his eyes, you didn’t know, but this uneasy feeling wasn’t really something you appreciated.

-I really can not seem to win against you, huh? Talbott muttered. 

He let go of the owl, then sat down on the floor, his gaze still trained on you.

-Come on.

You followed him a bit reluctantly, not even trying to put a distance between the two of you, because he would notice. He was too smart not to notice. It was not because you wanted to be close to him. Not at all. You tried to concentrate on your conversation.

-I don’t know what you’re talking about when you say “winning”... Are we fighting? Are we fighting and I was too busy self-wallowing to notice? I’m sure I was a terrible friend, I’m so sorry. 

-You talk too much.

An arm wrapped around you and you jumped.

-The Weasley always do that when you’re down. I’m not really good at this but… If you need it, I’m here. I’ll always be. I’m sorry if I’m overstepping.

-Oh no, this…  it’s fine. Really. Thank you. I guess… I guess I was afraid of annoying you. You got too much on your mind already.

-Then I was the terrible friend. But on a more serious note… I like you way to much for you to ever annoy me.

You giggled.

-Are you mocking me? Talbott asked, groaning.

-No! 

But you didn’t stop giggling.

-It’s just I fought so hard to get you to say we’re friends, I can’t imagine what it must have taken for you to tell me you like me.

-It didn’t take anything. I like you. Pretty much the easiest feeling about you I had to understand.

-So you got “feelings” about me.

-Including the fact that I like you, I got a lot of feelings for you.

And then, finally, it dawned on you.

-Wait, when you said you “like” me. You mean… “like” me “like” me?

-Whatever you say doesn’t make any sense.

You raised your head and finally got to get a glance at him. He looked a bit confused, and his gaze couldn’t seem to hold yours, but the sunlight fell on him and he had never looked more handsome than now, basked in golden rays that just made his eyes stand out.

-Talbott, you won’t make me believe you didn’t understand what I just meant, you’re not stupid.

-I’m not, but what you said could easily be interpreted in… other ways.

The way he avoided your gaze made it impossible for you not to smile. He was cute. He looked cute.

-I need to rephrase it then, to avoid ambiguity?

-Only if you want to… mumbled Talbott.

-Oh lord, you’re way too cute.

The words had escaped you but you didn’t feel bad about it. Not when Talbott’s eyebrows raised in surprise while still avoiding to look at you.

-Okay. Talbott Winger, are you saying you like me as in you want to be my boyfriend?

-This might be correct.

-Oh, so it is that way, huh?

Silence followed and Talbott turned to finally look at you. You couldn’t stop grinning like a fool. That day had started horribly, but right now was probably the highlight of the whole year.

-I’d expect more reaction from you. 

It then dawned on you that you hadn’t told him anything yet. You lost your smile, realizing that while this was exhilarating, you had no idea of this worked. And Talbott almost literally asked you to date him. Like, seriously date him. No secret meetings at the owlery. Dating. Like holding hands, hugging, kissing. Maybe more. Date. Him.

-The idea doesn’t seem to drown you in enthusiasm.

A little smile appeared on Talbott’s face. But it was not that warm smile he offered only to you. The comprehensive look he sent you didn’t have this affection lingering behind. His stance was not relaxed as it usually was. And his voice sounded cold, far from that rich sound that usually graced your ears. 

How many times did all those things scream at you that he had feelings for you? You didn’t really know. You knew when you had started to notice all of it. But knowing that all this time, he hadn’t said anything to you… 

And now that he did, you even managed to hurt him. And you could not bear it for one more second. You liked the fact he liked you way too much. You liked him way too much.

-Talbott? 

He didn’t react, simply looking outside the window.

-Talbott, look at me. 

He flinched, but once again, he didn’t move. Maybe he tried to collect himself or something, but you were having none of it.

-By Merlin’s bloody beaded braided beard, Talbott, look at me, please!

-How the bloody hell did you pronounce that? 

He finally turned his head, reluctantly, furrowed brows, and he looked at you while you tried on a little smile.

-Forgive me, okay? I didn’t want to seem insensitive.

-You don’t have to feel bad for that. I got it, you’re not interested, and you have the right not to be interested, but-

-Oh, will you let me speak, birdbrain? You interrupted him. I’m trying to explain myself here, don’t make me shut your pretty mouth myself!

-And how, pray tell, would you even make me shut my mouth?

A ghost of his usual smirk made its way on Talbott’s face. And you decided that, for real, he had not only lead you on, but he had teased you enough. Now was the time to not only tell him how you felt, but to play a little.

-I could kiss you, you said bluntly. Would you like that? 

Talbott’s mouth opened, as if he was too shocked to even process what you just said, and you worked on making the most innocent face you could manage. 

-Wouldn’t you? You continued. The idea didn’t shut your mouth, but you did stop talking. Too bad, I would have liked to kiss you.

-Do it.

-What? 

-Kiss me. 

A surprised gasp escaped your lips. You almost had forgotten Talbott’s arm around you, but you sure as hell were reminded of it when he pulled you closer to him.

-H...Hey, I might bump your nose or something, Talbott… you whispered, a bit flustered.

-I don’t care. Kiss me.

-Okay...

Your hands found their way on Talbott’s cheeks and you planted what felt like the softest kiss on his lips. It was barely a peck, nothing more, but it seemed to build a fire inside of you. That felt so much better than the dread from the morning that you started to giggle.

-What’s so funny?

-Oh my god, I never would have thought you liked me, how clueless was I?

-You didn’t really answer though.

You gave him another kiss, a bit longer, a bit clumsier too.

-I’d love you to be my boyfriend, Talbott.

And when he hugged you with all he had, you were sure of one thing. This moment, right here, right now, with him.