Apr 19
Trust Me Ch2: Taking Steps
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Trust Me Ch2: Taking Steps
Current Chapter on AO3 <Previous Chapter Main Pin Post
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
"Something tells me that every step I needed to take along this journey, one faltered step and I could have fallen never to get up.. the steps we take in life are the only way we can get to where we are headed and no matter how much it hurts, just work through it day by day by day and you will get to where you are going. I mean, you are already pointed in the right direction.. just keep going. If you needed it today, you are going in the right direction.. just keep going. You can do it!! You can make it to your happy place, you don't need to have faith when you DO, cause you create what you need.. always sitting around having faith leads to nowhere cause you will never find your happiness sitting around doing nothing. Have faith in people, that they will do the right thing and if they don't, don't let it destroy you.. create.. be what you want to see in the world and the rest will follow you into happiness. Faith is for chumps, do you ever see a squirrel holding up their hands praying for nuts?? No, the squirrel goes and gets them.. this is why the squirrel is happy, cause it creates its future and goes out into the world and makes the things happen that will make it happy. Be squirrely, be different, be you, be beautiful.. get the things in life that you want and don't sit around waiting for happiness to fall in your lap. You have to make it happen or it never will.. if someone tells you to have faith, laugh and show em how you really be happy. I'm not taking any cheap shots at religion but you tend to see a lot of unhappy people "having faith", that's cause it's not the way.. I say go out and live your life!! Quit holding back.. the only thing standing between you and happiness is you darling. Have faith in your ability to grow cause that is what we were made for, to grow, not to fall victim to withering away.. you are unhappy and so depressed cause you are not growing. Growing kind of hurts, but you work through it and once you do, you are free of the chains and shackles of darkness within and THAT will make the world a more brightly lit place.."
I find that life and religion have a lot of things in common except a religion made by a man is made to control, the only true words could come from above and if you can't hear it from above, you have to find them for yourself.. do what is right, be happy and change your world and in doing so you change the whole world cause none of this could be here with no you. You are special, you are.. so smile today and take things one step at a time and show the world how special you really are - eUë
THANK GOD WE HELD ON - k.p.k || instagram
The last 4+ years have been extremely rough and I’ve got a LOT of work to catch up on. I’d like to get back to working on commissions during streams, as well, so that edits can be done in real time rather than waiting for email responses/updates both ways. But when I think of just jumping in head first, I chicken right out. So I’m working myself up to that but I will probably start off slowly with getting myself used to streaming again just in general.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
somethingsomewherebecomeseverythingeverywhereandviceversajustmove
I have always shot straight, followed through and through, grew and grew; only picked out the wrong targets and thought it smart to shoot. I let the weight of where feel less than that of a good shot. I hunt the day that I set my aim onto the right spot. I will grow the wrong way time and time again, but I've got time, more than anything to grow toward all that I want.
Making Plans.
So here it is, it’s coming on 6am, December 28th, 2018. And I am making plans. Not just the usual resolution to ‘get healthier’ but actual plans. This is a conscious choice to take back my health and well-being.
Today is the day.
This year I was diagnosed with Diabetes, but the doctor just put me on medicine without doing an A1c or any other tests. So here it is, almost 6 months later, and the medicine isn’t really doing much about my elevated blood sugar.
I went to a new doctor yesterday, she actually drew blood and ran tests. So within the next few days, I will know whether or not I need to stop taking the Metformin that I have been on for months, that is upsetting my stomach beyond belief. Also found out that the permanent cough that I have had forever is just severe acid reflux, I’m on medicine for it now and have to watch what I eat/drink/how I sleep.
Yesterday she also gave me a medicine that will help me lose the first bit of weight so that my knees will work better, and so that I can start walking and exercising without so much pain. When they checked my weight at the doctor’s office, I was 296 pounds. I maxed out around 315 back in February, and this whole year I’ve only lost about 20.
Here’s the part where I am honest with whoever is reading this, and with myself. I don’t drink enough water, I eat badly way more than I should. I don’t sleep enough, though that one really isn’t by choice. I don’t get enough vitamin D, and don’t spend enough time outside. And here’s the biggest one, I know that I need to be exercising. But when I weigh enough that my bad knee (injury my first semester of college) can’t take it to walk more than 15 minutes, I need a little help. I know there are plenty of people out there that do it without the medicine, and I wish I could be like one of them, and I have the utmost respect for them.
But here I am taking the first steps to handle my physical health, in the past 2 years, I have gotten my mental health mostly under control. Bipolar and depression are good, anxiety is still there, but so much less. Talk therapy is helping with trauma and has made it so much easier to function.
But here is why I am writing this, this blog that I am starting is so that I can stay honest with myself and others. This will help me stay accountable. It will help me notice what I am doing well and what I am doing wrong. I want to find others that are on a journey to finding their healthier selves.